“I know them a little,” I manage to say, struggling to keep my voice calm. The girls stare at me, enraptured. “We went to school together. But they were always pretty busy with their music. And I haven’t talked to them since they left last year to go to California.”
“Wow,” Paige whispers. “That’s incredible. I can’t believe you’ve actually, like, met them in real life.”
“Why didn’t you tell us yesterday?” Karen asks.
“Duh! Isn’t it obvious?” Paige says. “She knew we would freak out.” She smiles at me. “Sorry about that, by the way. It’s just so amazing!”
“Holy shit!” Karen suddenly yells so loud she makes me jump. “You have to come with us now! You can, like, introduce us and stuff!”
“Karen, stop,” Paige says. “You’ll make her think we’re, like, using her or something.” Paige turns to me. “I swear, Daisy, it wouldn’t be like that, not at all—” She stops mid-sentence. “Daisy? What’s wrong?”
“I can’t do this,” I whisper, standing up. “I’m sorry. I… I can’t.”
“You don’t have to do any—”
But I’m already sprinting for the door, grabbing my purse on the way out. The panic has hit now, waves of it rushing over me. I know I’ll be sobbing and gasping any minute. My heart is already racing so hard that the hallway is spinning. I can’t do this, can’t be this way, not in front of them.
“Daisy!” Paige calls.
I barely hear her as I rush down the hall. All I can do is pray that my crazy brain will wait until I’m alone before it sends me over the edge.
Chapter Six
Daisy
I spend the weekend holed up in my room, not talking to anyone. I watch my favorite Disney films—Beauty and the Beast and Mulan—on an endless loop and tried to pretend nothing happened.
By Tuesday morning, I feel slightly better and even consider facing Paige in Econ, but I chicken out at the last minute. Instead, I go to a cafe across from campus and try to study for my trig final.
“There you are!”
I jump at the sound of Paige’s voice behind me. I spin in my chair to face her, but she’s already coming around my table to take the seat across from me.
“Do you have any idea how hard you are to find? Karen and I have been looking for you everywhere.”
I swallow, my throat dry. Embarrassment and guilt are coursing through me. “I’m sorry,” I squeak.
She waves her hands dismissively. “You don’t have to apologize for anything. I should apologize. I should have known better than to freak out on you like that.”
Confused, I narrow my eyes. “What do you mean, you should have known?”
She sighs. “You have panic attacks, don’t you? That’s what all the shyness is about. And the freaking out in our dorm. You were about to have an attack.”
I’m so dumbfounded I can only stare at her.
She smiles slightly. “I saw you that day in Bartlet’s class. After he called on you, I watched you. The way you were breathing and clenching your palms? You were trying to avoid an attack, weren’t you?”
My surprise is so great I forget to be embarrassed. “How did you know that?”
Her expression falls a little. “My little sister gets really bad panic attacks. Just about anything can set her off. I’ve watched her react that way more times than I can count.”
“Wow,” I mutter. Her seemingly random befriending of me suddenly makes a lot more sense. “That’s why you talked to me, isn’t it?”
She shrugs, looking uncomfortable. “It’s not like it was some kind of charity effort or anything. I meant it when I said it seemed like you needed some fun. But you did remind me of my sister, and that’s probably why I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
I feel the tears on my cheeks before I even realize I’m crying. She wanted to make sure I was okay. When was the last time someone could describe me as okay?
Paige hands me a napkin so I can wipe my eyes. The tears keep coming, though, as if a damn of some kind has burst.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice shaking. “You don’t have to stay.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, like I’m leaving. We’re friends, Daisy. Friends don’t just walk away.”
“We are?” I don’t know why her words surprise me so much. She obviously wouldn’t have spent so much time looking for me if she didn’t consider me a friend.
She smiles. “Duh. You don’t share pad thai and Engaged with someone and not end up friends with them.”