I stand, a slight glimmer of something like anger growing in my chest. I’m surprised by how good it feels. “I’m going to go stay with my dad tonight.”
“You don’t have to do that,” he says quickly. “I can leave if you want. This place is good for you.”
I shake my head. “It’s time for me to stop hiding from something that was never my fault in the first place.”
“Daisy—”
“Look, I appreciate everything that you did for me, I really do. But I don’t need you making choices for me. It was wrong of you to lie to me about the phone, Levi, and to tell Daltrey that I didn’t want to talk to him. You doing that is not okay with me. It wouldn’t be right for me to keep staying here.”
He hangs his head. “I really fucked this up, huh?”
“I know you did what you thought was right. But it’s time for me to make those choices myself.” I place my hands on his shoulders. “I’m sorry, Levi, that I don’t feel the same way you do. I really am. You deserve someone totally amazing in your life.” I lean forward and kiss his cheek. “Thank you. I might be a little mad right now, but I still really appreciate you bringing me here.” I pull back and see, finally, that he’s smiling that old Levi smile of his, though his eyes still look sad.
“At least I can say that I tried, right?”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t ever something you needed to earn, Levi. You’re wonderful, one of the best, kindest people I know. But my heart had already decided ages ago.” I hold his gaze. “He’s one of your best friends. It would make me so sad if you stayed mad at him over any of this.”
He takes a deep breath. “I guess we’ll just have to see.”
I realize there’s nothing I can do to make up his mind for him, just like there was never anything anyone else could have done to change my mind about Daltrey.
I start to remove my hands, but he pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around him. “Thank you,” I say again. “From the bottom of my heart.”
I go into the cabin to grab my things, figuring my dad will be here soon. I’m a little surprised by how much it hurts to walk away from Levi. I could never love him the way he wants, but I do love him. I can only hope that this doesn’t have to be the end for us.
But if it is, I’ll know that it was his choice, and I’ll respect it. I’ve come to learn that people have all different ways of reacting to the hard things in life. Even though we might not always agree with them, we can’t change them either.
But I’m done reacting to the hard things by running. I’m done hiding. I’m done blaming myself for the cruelty of others. I deserve to be happy and with the people that I love. And I’m never going to let someone else take that from me again.
Chapter Thirty-two
Daltrey
My bags are packed, and I couldn’t be more ready to go.
Granted, they would have been packed anyhow, seeing as how tonight is the last show, but I still feel satisfied because I know what they represent. When the show is over tonight, I’m getting in a car, and I’m driving until I get to Daisy. Levi might not be happy to see me, but I don’t care anymore. Daisy is the only one who can tell me to stay away.
There’s a knock on the door. I finish zipping my suitcase and go answer it.
“Hello, son. Can I come in?”
I give him a weary look but move aside so he can enter.
“You’re packed already?” he asks, seeing my bags. “We’re not checking out until tomorrow.”
I shrug, not wanting to get into an argument. We’ve been avoiding each other since our fight, Dad relying on Reed or Dan to get any instructions or information to me. The lack of contact has helped with my stress level, and that paired with my excitement at seeing Daisy soon has really helped my performance.
He’s still looking at me questioningly, so I say, “I’m leaving tonight.”
He watches my face closely. “You’re going to find Daisy?”
“Yes,” I say tersely.
He holds my gaze for a minute. “You know, it’s hard being a single father, Daltrey.”
I don’t know what I was expecting him to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. “I know, Dad.”
“I tried to do my best with you boys. I really did. I know it might seem sometimes like I’m just pushing you for my own purposes. But I hope… I really hope you know that everything I did, I did for you boys.”
“I do know that.” I pause, not ready to let him off the hook. “But that doesn’t mean it was okay, what you did. You should have told me what you knew about her. That wasn’t fair, Dad.”