Rain Shadow(43)

Every fear of Miguel she'd ever experienced had sharply focused into  reality. He'd done everything she'd anticipated plus a whole lot more.  Why had he come looking for her after all this time? Traveling with the  Wild West Show was far from inconspicuous. Should she have left it years  ago? Had she been so obsessed with finding her family that she'd  ignored a basic step in her son's protection?                       
       
           



       

But how could she have known? Miguel hadn't wanted her. He'd made that  plain enough. She couldn't have anticipated he'd come looking for her.  Wankan Tanka...Grandfather Great Spirit, Tative Topa, God of the Four  Winds, return my son to me safely. Return Anton's son without harm, and  restore Johann... don't let him die. Help me, I pray to You, don't let  any of them die.... She ached with the terrifying thought.

Age-old remorse and guilt flooded back cold and hard. All of this  stemmed from her one mistake, the reverberations continuing like a stone  hurled into smooth water, the circles ever widening, touching more and  more lives. And the truth sat at the bottom of the pond like that  rock-cold and hard and unchanging-she'd brought this upon them.

Unci Maka, Grandmother Earth, help me. I promise to leave and let them  resume their lives the way they were before. Anton had been looking for a  wife-a proper, domestic mother for Nikky-and look what Rain Shadow's  intrusion had done. In retrospect, Sissy Clanton's face came to her from  the night Miguel had stabbed Anton-pale, assessing. Sissy probably  wouldn't have turned down Anton's proposal had she not seen the way he  took Rain Shadow's hand, had she not been witness to the spectacle of  him lying on the ground bleeding, Rain Shadow hovering over him with  concern.

He could be married to Sissy now. Or at least planning a wedding. I'm  sorry. He still had a chance with one of the other young women.

Anton's hand cupped her cheek, and he turned her face toward his. She  didn't know she'd been crying until he wiped the tears from her face  with gentle fingers. He kissed her, and she clung to him, choking back a  sob.

Their kiss held an edge of desperation. Long ago she'd learned she  couldn't change the past, so she'd placed all her hopes and dreams on  the future. At this moment the future looked bleak-perhaps unbearable.  All she had was right now, right this minute, tonight in Anton's arms.  She returned kiss for kiss, touch for touch, taking comfort in the heat  of his desire. He prolonged the mindlessness she sought, drawing each  physical response to a height and breadth and depth that left room for  nothing else.

I love you. She buried her face against his neck, cried his name and shook with the force of her chaotic emotions.

"We'll find them," he said into her hair. "If it's the last thing I do, we'll find them."

* * *

By morning it had stopped snowing.

"We find new tracks, and we've got him," Anton said, helping her pack  their gear. He led their horses from cover against a bluff, and they  mounted.

"Do you think we've been heading in the right direction?"

He settled his Stetson over his forehead before answering. "Y'know, I've  been wondering if there is a right direction. What if he meant to  circle back toward the farm? I laid awake trying to figure out his  reasoning. What will he do with them?"

Rain Shadow squinted against the morning sun glaring off the pristine  snow and settled her wide-brimmed hat. "I laid awake trying not to think  about his reasoning. I guess what he'll do with them depends on his  purpose."

"Think it's you or Slade?"

Without an answer, she shrugged and pulled on her snug leather gloves.

"Seems he's headed northwest. Why don't we ride a line from southwest to  northeast and see if we can't cross his tracks somewhere?"

His plan sounded logical to her, so they rode steadily.

The morning was still early. She stopped Jack with a soft sound and tilted her head.

Anton reined the General around to face her. The animal shook his massive head, and its snaffle ring clinked in the stillness.

"I smell a fire," she said.

Anton raised his face and tested the air. Off to the left stood a copse  of trees. "They could be anywhere in there," he said softly.

"Why don't we split up and skirt the outside on foot?" she suggested.  "If they're in there, one of us should spot them. We'll meet back here  and decide what to do."

Wariness edged his handsome features. Fatigue etched lines under his  eyes, and his nose was red from the cold. Finally, he nodded his  agreement.                       
       
           



       

"Anton," she whispered. "Move slowly. Stop often to listen and sniff the  air. What you don't hear is as important as what you hear."

With a curt nod he hobbled the General and moved away from her.

Rain Shadow drew a deep breath, untied her holster thong and slipped  silently into the trees, following the outer edge of the forest, the  cold forgotten. Time had no place or meaning here. Tree trunks stood in  stark contrast to the harsh white expanse above and below. Above, the  canopy of branches hung low with snow and ice. Below, every twig her  boots snapped sounded like gunfire. She kept her eye on the position of  the sun through the filtering branches, calculating how far she'd come.

The scent of smoke drifted to her again, and she paused to listen.  Nothing. Not even the sound of birds or small animals. Her scalp  tingled. This wasn't good.

"I do not suppose you came alone."

The thickly accented voice stopped her dead. She turned her head slowly, her heart thundering in her chest. "I'm alone."

"You think me a fool, querida."

She scanned the frozen woods, her hand moving toward her holster.

"I would not do that if I were you. Throw the gun toward my voice."

With deliberate slowness, she drew her revolver from its holster, turned  the butt away from her and tossed it toward the pine trees.

"Now your knife."

It angered her that she'd missed the signs and walked into his trap.  Bending, she slid her knife from her boot and aimed it at a trunk,  wishing it was his heart. The knife lodged with a solid whack.

As if sensing her hatred, his insolent laughter punctured the stillness.  A movement caught her eye. He rose from the ground where he'd blended  like an animal in its natural surroundings, shook the snow from his  clothing and hat and gestured at her with his rifle. "This way, my  lovely. My son has an unrealistic opinion of his madre." Miguel picked  up her gun and tucked it in his belt. "He thought she would shoot her  way into my camp and rescue him."

Rain Shadow had no choice but to walk to him.

He nudged her forward with the gun barrel. "He doesn't need rescuing from his own father, now, does he?"

She smelled the fire before she saw it. A few scant feet from the fire,  huddled beneath a blanket with their backs against a tree, sat two small  forms, woolen hats pulled low.

"Mama!"

"Rain Shadow!"

Ignoring Miguel's warning, she ran to them. She pulled their heads  against her coat front and hugged them tightly. She peeled off her  gloves and wiped the tears from their cheeks. "Don't cry any more. I'm  here."

Pulling back the blanket, she discovered their bound hands. A rope at  their waists secured them to the tree. Both children were cold and  frightened. Rage consumed her. She stared into her son's eyes.

"Move away from them," Ruiz said from behind her.

"They're cold!" she accused. "Untie them both and let them sit by the fire."

"I said move away!" Ruiz poked her shoulder sharply with the rifle  barrel. She caught her balance and covered the boys' hands, pulled the  blanket to their chins and backed away. Brazenly, she turned to face the  man who threatened everything she held dear. "What do you want?"

Quick as lightning, he grabbed her coat front in a fist and hauled her face up to his. "Why did you keep him from me?"

Rain Shadow stared into obsidian eyes so like her son's. "Why do you think, Miguel?"

He shook her, and her teeth rattled. "I had a right to know! I had a son all this time, and I should have known!''

A thin blue vein stood out in the center of his forehead.

"You used me, Miguel!" she shouted, and hated the way her voice cracked.  "I was sixteen years old, and you let me believe we would get married  in London! No sooner did the ship dock, and you married another woman!  What do you think that did to me? What kind of person would do that?"  Rain Shadow drew a ragged breath and pinned him with her furious gaze.  "I swore I'd make something of my life and my son's life, that I  wouldn't let your cruelty ruin our future. And I've done that. I'm proud  of myself, and I'm proud of my son."