I reached over and touched his shoulder. “You miss your mommy don’t you? It’s okay if you do. My daddy died in an accident and I miss him every day.”
The child’s wet eyes looked right at me. “Did you cry a lot?”
I let out a cackle of air. “Yeah, I did. Savanna will tell you how bad it was for me. I didn’t want to ever talk about it because it made me so sad.”
“Yeah. Is she in heaven now?”
“Of course she is. She is probably looking down at you right now, being your guardian angel.” I noticed that Savanna was saying nothing, but I couldn’t step away from the boy to speak to her alone. She couldn’t expect me to turn my back on a child I never knew I had. I was his father, for Christ sakes.
“So, what is your favorite thing to do? What do you like?”
“I like trains and dinosaurs and airplanes and army men. Sometimes I play legos, but Mommy stepped on one and she said it hurt like Hell, so I don’t play them anymore.”
We both laughed when he said Hell, but he had no inclination it wasn’t a proper word to use. I reached my arm over and pulled Savanna tight against my body. As Noah concentrated on his ice cream, I turned to face Savanna and leaned my forehead on hers. “Are you okay with this?”
She looked at the little boy and then back to me. “I knew he was yours from the moment I saw those eyes. How could I not want something that is a part of you? You really didn’t know about him did you?”
I pressed my lips against hers and held them there, until we heard Noah. “Ewww, you get cooties from that, ya know.”
We both started laughing. “No way, cooties? Well, I am never kissing again then,” I joked.
Noah started laughing.
I leaned over the counter again. “Noah, you are goin’ to be livin’ here with Savanna and I from now on. We can decorate your room in anything you want. In fact, Savanna loves to redecorate.” I threw her a wink. “Does that sound okay with you?”
“You mean, I get one of those giant rooms?”
“Sure do!”
He looked sad. “I don’t like the dark very much.”
“We’ll get you a big fat night light.” Savanna interrupted.
“Do I have to call you Daddy?”
It caught me off guard. I had no idea what to say. After taking a deep breath and thinking about what would be the best thing to say, I sat down beside him. “Buddy, you can call me Colt for now, if that makes you feel better. I know we just met and this is all kind of new for both of us.”
“But, you are my dad, aren’t you? That lady said I was going to live with my dad.”
I laughed. “Yeah kid, I’m your dad. I didn’t know it until today, but there is no denying it. You look just like me kiddo. Wait until you meet my mother, she will go crazy over you.”
“Is she an old lady?” He asked.
I started laughing. “She isn’t that old. Would you like to meet her right now? She lives on the ranch too. In fact this whole ranch belongs to our family.”
“Even the big fat cows?”
Savanna was rolling. “Every single one.”
“What else is here?”
“Chickens. Lots of chickens. We grow our own vegetables. We have a few horses. There is a big pool at the main house where my mother lives.” The little boy seemed so interested.
“Can we go see it all?”
I looked over to Savanna and she nodded. She leaned over to talk to Noah. “I think that you and Colt should take a ride on the golf cart and explore everything right now. Would you like that Noah?”
“YEAH!” He hopped down off his stool and grabbed my hand. It was the coolest feeling. “Come on, let’s go.”
I turned around to face Savanna and couldn’t tell what she was thinking. As excited as I was that I had this beautiful little boy, I knew it wasn’t going to be all peaches and cream with Savanna. We had lost our child tragically and I would never want to replace that void with another child, but Noah was mine. Savanna still wanted her own children with me. We needed to be able to talk about this before I got in way over my head and lost her. She had been so fragile and was still in therapy. I was very afraid that this was going to break her. “Do you want to come with us?”
She shook her head and I could see the tears forming in her eyes. “No, you go ahead. You have so much time to make up for. Besides, the agents are still working on his case. I will just sit here in case they need anything.”
“I love you Savanna Mitchell. I hope you know that.” I couldn’t tell her I was sorry for all of this happening the way it was in front of the boy. He had lost the only family he ever knew. He needed to feel welcomed and loved. “And no, I had no idea I had a son. Darlin’ I swear to you that I had no idea.”