Raging Heart On_ Friends to Lovers Romance(97)
“I might have if you’d been home much the last few weeks.”
“I’ve been home every night, Mom.”
“Yeah, but I’m usually in bed by the time you roll in. Honestly, Petal, little River needs more structure than what you’re giving him.”
“Mom, everything I do is for River. Don’t start.”
“Is he the reason you’ve been talking to that man again?”
“That man is River’s father and he has a name, Mom. It’s Luka.”
“You say Luka, I say Puke-a,” she says with a shrug.
“Now who’s acting like a child?” I sigh. It’s an old argument. Mom has never approved of Luka and he hates her. The friction between them is just one of the many reasons my marriage imploded. Well, that and the fact that I should have never gotten married at seventeen. I was a child playing an adult and as a result I made all the wrong choices. Hell, I’ll be twenty-one in a couple weeks and I’m still making all the wrong choices.
“If you had listened to me to begin with, you would have never had him in your life.”
“Mom, I was pregnant—”
“Big-freakin-deal! You were sixteen and pregnant. That happens to a lot of girls. It’s not a reason to get married. He should have been arrested for messing with you in the first place and yet somehow here he is, the sheriff. If that isn’t the biggest joke in years.”
“Mom, he didn’t know I was sixteen. If he had, he never would have touched me.”
“So you say. I haven’t seen one thing out of Luka Parrish that tells me it’s true.”
“I don’t want to argue about this anymore, Mom. Luka and I are working together to make sure our son is happy. That’s it. That’s all it is,” I tell her, and the pang of pain that hits me is real. I’m not lying, even though I wish I was. River has been diagnosed with ADHD and also has some other problems. We’ve been meeting in the evenings to figure out how best to tackle them. I had him in daycare and he was kicked out for biting and hitting other kids. River’s not a bad child. He’s sweet as he can be at home, but around other kids, he becomes different. We need a solution soon, not only for my child’s sake, but because I need to go back to work. I can’t keep living with my mom, I can’t. Every time she puts Luka down, I want to scream. Luka has done right by me and River, despite all the shit I’ve put him through. He tried so hard to make our marriage work. He doesn’t know why I divorced him, not really. I won’t tell him. There’s no point. He’s eight years older than me, he’s sheriff now, and the last thing he needs is the local hippy’s daughter being a stone around his neck. I figure if I say that enough times, I’ll finally believe it. The real problem is that Luka hasn’t tried to convince me that we have a future in over a year now. Even the dinners we have are purely talking about our son. Being that near to him almost every night and not being able to touch him or find out what’s going in his life—or to just talk to him like we used to, man and woman, best friends—it’s slowly and painfully destroying me. I miss him.
With a sigh, I go to get my ball and get ready for my turn. The place is loud, but only made louder because the entire Lucas clan is out and about tonight, including Gray, CC, and the two-month-old babies Violet and William.
“There’s my girl! I thought you got lost,” Black says, wrapping his arm around my back as I straighten back up, holding the ball in my hand.
“Wrong, big brother. You were hoping I got lost because with this strike you and your silly team are going down, down, down.”
“You tell him, Petal!” CC calls out.
We’re playing girls against boys tonight, and it’s usually a lot of fun. It’s just tonight I wish I was having dinner with Luka. Even though we’re just discussing River, I live for those dinners with him lately—which admittedly, is not a good thing.
“Pride goeth before the fall, ladies. Tonight, it’s all about the boys!” White answers.
“That’s what you think, sweetheart. Boys drool and girls rule!” Kayla chirps up. I can’t help but smile. In the two months that her and my brother White have been married, she’s become a different person: confident, happy, and outspoken. Not to mention the fact that she’s sporting a pretty serious baby bump these days. As if my brother knows exactly what I’m thinking, he reaches down and rubs Kayla’s stomach and whispers in her ear. I’m not sure what he said to her, but the blush that blooms on her face makes me entirely envious of the two. They’re so much in love, it’s painful to watch.