“What the fuck is going on?” I jerk my head up to look at White. I don’t understand the look on his face. It scares me. Black must feel the same because instead of trying to add to White’s anger—because he is angry—he stands up, putting his body in front of mine.
“Easy, brother. I was just having a talk with Kayla.”
“Yeah, I could tell.” White spews the words out and there is more than anger in them. They feel… hateful.
I stand up to go to him. I don’t know what’s happening, but I need it to stop. I need White to be okay. I need us to be okay.
“White Hall, I don’t know what has got you upset, but let’s not do anything to make things worse here,” Black says and the trepidation in his voice worries me even more.
“You don’t know what the fuck you are talking about. This doesn’t concern you, so just get the fuck out of my way.”
“White…”
“How long were you going to keep lying to me, Kayla?” White growls, and I move around Black to try and look at him. My skin breaks out in a cool sweat, and I feel panic swamp me. Black does his best to block me, and I know he’s trying to protect me. I’m even kind of glad, but I have to fix this. I have to fix whatever is going on.
“Let me through, Black,” I whisper, my voice sounding hoarse and strange to my own ears.
“Yeah, let her through, Black, so she can lie to me some more.”
“Lie to you, White? I don’t know what’s going on, but if you—”
“You don’t know what’s going on? That’s rich, Kayla, because here I was thinking I was the one who didn’t know what the fuck was going on!”
“What—?”
“I have a ‘what’ for you, Kayla. What the fuck are these?” he yells, tossing a container at me. A container of my birth control pills.
CHAPTER 54
WHITE
I watch as Kayla catches the container of birth control pills. She looks down at them and her hands are trembling. I want to hear her tell me that I’m wrong, that’s she’s not been lying to me. I need to hear her deny that she’s been letting me think we’re trying for a baby while doing everything in her power to prevent a pregnancy. I need to hear it, but as she grips the pills in her hand and slowly sits down, refusing to look at me, hope of that fades.
“Imagine my surprise, when I accidentally knocked over the trash in the bathroom and found these buried at the bottom of it. I guess you were trying to hide them, right?”
“It’s not what you are thinking, White. Please, you have to believe me.”
That’s definitely not a denial, and hope dies in that moment. Anger was there before, but now it explodes.
“What I think is the woman I thought I could trust over anyone has been lying to me this whole fucking time!”
“It’s not like that,” she cries, standing up and trying to come to me, but I back away. I can’t touch her now. I don’t want to be near her right now.
“What was the point, Kayla? What was the fucking point? Was it all just a fucking lie? A game for you? Were you playing me?”
“No, of course not! How could you think that? You know me, White. You know me more than anyone!”
“I don’t know you at all. The woman I thought I knew would have never lied to me! Every fucking time you started your period, I’d feel bad because I failed at giving you the one thing you wanted the most. Jesus Christ, you let me go to that damn clinic to get checked out thinking I wasn’t capable of getting you pregnant!”
“I tried to confess! I wanted to! But I was afraid! I didn’t want to lie. I was trying to protect you!”
“Protect me? Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“But I was! You didn’t want a baby. You were doing it for me. You’ve told me over and over how you would never have a kid. I couldn’t let you—”
“Because I didn’t want a woman to control me! Because I couldn’t trust anyone. But I trusted you, Kayla. I believed in you and you lied!”
“To protect you!” she cries out, and if I wasn’t so angry, the tears running down her face would hurt me. I can’t pretend they don’t bother me now. Suddenly, it feels like the air in the room is gone. I can’t stay here. I can’t look at her. It hurts too fucking much.
“I can’t do this right now,” I growl, leaving the kitchen. I hear her calling for me, but I ignore it. I make it to the porch before I feel her hand on my arm. I jerk it away, turning around quickly. I don’t want her touching me. Not right now, and maybe never again. She stumbles back and I start to reach out and grab her. I end up letting my fingers bite into the palm of my hand as it’s Black that catches her before she can fall.