“Sweet baby Jesus,” Ida Sue mutters, and I have to agree with her.
“Well, to be fair, Candy did like for you to put your—”
“If you say another word, I’m going to the hay pile with Blue,” I warn.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Blue says with a wink.
White flips him off and gives me a look—which I return.
Asshole.
CHAPTER 34
WHITE
From the look on Kayla’s face, it’d be a good thing if I change the subject. Besides, all joking aside, the fact that Candy is now some Golden Dildo award-winning porn star is a little gross. I find myself wanting to jump in the shower and wash my dick… or make Kayla. That would probably be my best bet. I feel my dick pulse against my jeans. Time to change the subject unless I want to sport a chubby around my brothers and my Mom.
“Mom, you can’t expect me to drink this.”
“I sure can and you will drink every last drop, White Hall. That’s a nutritious morning shake that’s jam-packed full of vitamins and things you need. Speaking of which, here’s yours, dear,” Mom says, handing Kayla a glass. At least her shake isn’t green. It’s a really pretty color of orange, kind of like an evening sunset. I lean over to smell it. Kayla frowns at me and I kiss her nose.
Her shake doesn’t smell bad, unlike the nasty thing I’m holding.
“Uh… thanks, Ida Sue,” Kayla whispers nervously, shaking her drink.
“Go ahead, try it! It’s got peaches in it. You’ll love it,” Mom encourages.
I watch as Kayla slowly brings it to her mouth. I get distracted watching the way her throat works as she drinks it. I never thought certain things were sexy before Kayla. I was definitely wrong as I watch the orange-colored cream slide into her mouth and she swallows, all hopes of not sporting a hard-on around my mother have been dashed.
“Do you like it?” Mom asks, and my hand reaches under the table to adjust my dick.
“I do,” she says. “It’s good, kind of citrusy and sweet. What’s in it?”
“Different things. Oranges, peaches, and I added some cranberries.”
“It’s good,” Kayla repeats while swallowing down a second drink. She seems to be telling the truth, so after one last sniff, I decide to take a swig of mine. Maybe it tastes better than it looks.
Wrong! So, wrong.
The putrid crap seems to lodge in my throat and I have to gag to swallow it the rest of the way down. I can’t know for sure without an x-ray, but I’m pretty sure that shit is burning out my intestines. I slam the glass back down on the table.
“What the fuck is in that?”
“Will you watch your language? All this talk of tits and cock-zillas, and now your language is getting out of hand. River will be back any time. You boys already have Terry talking like a sailor. When you and Kayla make me a grandkid, I will skin you alive if you don’t clean up the way you talk.”
“You tell him, Mom,” Cyan joins in.
“I think you ought to make Cyan and Blue drink this shit,” I grumble. Kayla giggles and I fake a mean look at her, which makes her laugh more. Why something that simple makes me so ridiculously happy, I have no idea.
“Stop your whining. Jesus! What you’re drinking is a mixture of coffee—which you love, White Hall Lucas. Don’t bother denying it.”
“That can’t be just coffee,” I argue, wondering idly if it would strip the stain off this table.
“It also has carrots, Serrano chilies, and celery,” Ida Sue lists off, like what she is saying is just a normal everyday recipe.
“Mother of God, are you trying to kill me?”
“Of course not. I’m trying to help.”
“Help what? Help make me stay in the bathroom all day, praying to the porcelain gods?”
“Okay, now you’re just being an asshole. I’ll have you know that is a very healthy shake that’s recommended by naturalists everywhere.”
“Were these naturalists sadists?”
“I’m ignoring you now, son.” Ida Sue says, walking over and putting a fresh bowl of cereal in front of Cyan.
“Why does Cyan get more cereal and I get the milkshake from the Exorcist?”
“If you must know, he doesn’t have a problem.”
“A problem?” I ask, wondering if I can reach over and swipe the cereal away to eat without Mom catching me.
“Am I going to have to spell it out for you, White Hall?”
“Gee, Mom. I really wish you would because I’m kind of lost.”
“Fine. Cyan doesn’t have a problem performing.”
“Performing?”
“Performing, dear. His little soldiers are always lined up and ready to go.”