“Well sometimes stress can work havoc on a women’s cycle, and we both know you’ve been under that. Maybe you’re worrying for nothing?” Cherry says, trying to sound hopeful.
“Maybe,” I whisper, but I know better.
“Do you not want a baby?” Cherry asks me, and her question loosens the tight rein I’ve had on my emotions. I burst into tears. “Oh, honey,” she coos, going to her hands and knees in front of me and extending up so she can wrap me in her arms. I take her comfort. I’m scared. Terrified. “Talk to me, Tess.”
Eventually, I get enough control and dry my eyes with the paper towel that Cherry stuffs into my hands. Talk to her? Do I dare utter the fears that I keep drowning in? The ones I’ve held in for days; afraid to voice?
“I want my baby more than anything in the world. I want Max’s baby,” I whisper touching my stomach gently. I don’t even know for sure I’m pregnant, but I swear I can feel the baby’s presence.
“Then why so many tears?” Cherry asks, but she knows. How could she not?”
“What kind of life is it for a baby knowing that her parents are hunted fugitives? What if we’re found? What if I’m arrested, and I’m pregnant? Worse, what happens if Max finds out? With his history, how will he react to having a child, with me? I can’t believe I let this happen, Cherry. I’m so scared.”
“Okay, you’re searching out all of the worst case scenarios. You know them logically, but you still decided to skip the country with Max. What’s the difference?” she asks, and I have to think about it.
“Making decisions when it is just Max and I involved, is one thing. An innocent child shouldn’t have to suffer from decisions that its parents make.”
“Oh please, what kind of world do you live in? That happens every damn day,” she argues.
“Maybe so, but it’s not what I want for my child. I want something better than I had, you know?”
“Tess, you’ve told me about your life. This baby will have two people that love it unconditionally. It’s already doing better than the hand you were dealt.”
“It won’t matter how much it’s loved if we have to leave him or her alone,” I whisper my greatest fear. “I feel so stupid, Cherry.”
“Well stop it! You don’t even know if you’re pregnant. You could be worrying over nothing. Let’s not put the horse before the cart. We’ll find out what’s definite and go from there.”
“I’m pretty sure.”
“Have you had a test?”
“No, but I’m never late, and we did have sex once without protection. The timing is right,” I whisper, “I’m so stupid.”
“Will you stop? You are not. I’d venture to say Maxwell was right there with you. He is just as responsible as you are. There’s still a chance you’re not, though, if I’m going to be entirely honest, sugar, it’s not very likely.”
“I know.”
“He’s like his dad. I swear those Kincaid soldiers could knock up a nun wearing a chastity belt thirty paces away.”
It’s a weak laugh, but I laugh.
“I’ll pick up a test while I’m in town. You can do it and then we’ll know for sure. Sound good?”
“What if someone sees you buying it?”
“Then, they’ll just think that Marcum has done it again. I promise you, your secret is safe with me.”
“Thanks, Cherry.”
“I got your back, sugar. The main thing is not to get excited. That’s not good for you right now either way. You can take the test and then we’ll figure out our next step.”
“Okay, sounds like a plan,” I tell her weakly.
“Damn straight it is. I’ll head out now and be back with your test in an hour or so.”
I can’t stop the sigh. “I’ll stay here and work up the nerve for to take the damn test.”
“What test?” Max asks from the door, and my heart stops. Cherry squeezes my hand, before getting off the floor.
“I’ll be back, sugar.”
“Okay,” I whisper, but my eyes never leave Max’s. My heart is in my throat.
Cherry skirts around Max, and it just leaves the two of us.
“Tess? What test is Cherry talking about?”
37
Max
“Tess?” I prod her when she still doesn’t answer. I want to hear her say it. I know though, god do I know. The knowledge is sitting in the bottom of my stomach like lead. Tess is pregnant.
“Max, I…you’re back early.”
It’s a stupid sentence because I didn’t even tell her where I was going. In fact, I haven’t left the compound. It’s a sentence born out of desperation, and we both know it. She’s stalling for time. Her face is white, and the truth is standing between us like a loaded gun.