“Tess.”
“Do you want me to leave? Is that it? Would you rather I wasn’t a part of this?” I ask, afraid of the answer, but needing to know, regardless.
That’s when Max surprises me. He gathers me in his arms, careful with my bad arm. He sits me in his lap while somehow pushing us back on the bed so he can recline against the headboard. Then, he places a kiss against my temple and situates me so I’m lying against his heart, and the beat of it is drumming in my ear.
“I don’t want to let you go, Tess. Ever. What you are to me, has nothing to do with what we started out as.”
That one sentence from Max takes my breath.
33
Max
I hold her close. Marcum’s speech hit had me hard. He and I had spent more time rehashing what paths I had before me. He made it clear what he would choose. I, on the other hand, didn’t agree. Regardless, I have choices, but the problem is that each selection has some fucking huge consequences. How do I choose? Do I take Tess with me? Doing that, means, never coming back. I may not be super close to Marcum, but I would still miss the sorry fuck. Do I let her go back to her world without me and still say goodbye to everything? Can I accept that? Can I let Tess go? Just the thought of it curls me in knots.
“I don’t want to let you go, Tess,” I repeat.
“Then don’t.”
“It would be better for you,” I feel obligated to tell her.
“Last I checked, I was an adult, and I say it wouldn’t be.”
“We could try your route, Tess. Turn myself in, and wait to be together.”
Her body stiffens under me, and I kiss her again on the top of her head. I would be willing to do this for Tess. If I knew she was waiting for me, I would try it. Marcum would swing his influence out there; like I wouldn’t let him before. The waiting would be hard. The unknowing would almost kill me, but I would. For her, I would.
“No.”
The one word is quiet, but firm.
“It’s what you wanted, Tess.”
“It’s not the same now. They want your head, Max. They want to make an example out of you. It’s even more dangerous now.”
“You’ve been watching the news.”
“Some, yeah. The result would be too unknown now, Max. I’ll support you whatever you decide, as long as you make me a part of your endgame, but I think getting the hell out of dodge is the best answer.”
“You could live like that, Kitten?”
“With you by my side, yes.”
Her words do something crazy to me. My chest contracts and this nervous energy runs through my system. For so long I’ve been a dead man inside, and Tess has somehow been bringing him back to life. The fact that she wants me beside her…me… Fucking hell.
My fingers dive into her hair, and I bring her face up to mine.
“I care for you, Tess. This is not just about fucking you now. You need to be sure.”
Something flashes in her eyes, but it’s gone quickly. Maybe I imagined it. She doesn’t respond with words. Instead, she gives me her lips. A sweet kiss, a promise.
“We won’t be able to leave for two days. Marcum wants to let the dust settle and let his contacts start some smokescreens. It will make it easier for us to get away.”
“What if they find us again?” She asks, her voice filled with fear she doesn’t bother to hide.
“They won’t, Kitten.”
“You can’t be sure, Max. They found out about us somehow. Maybe we should leave here now, we can’t be too careful.”
“It’s being handled.”
“Max, you can’t be sure…”
“We know who the informant was,” I tell her. She goes still, and those green eyes search my face. Fuck, if I blushed, I’d be doing it now.
“That cum-guzzling, whore-bag, rubber-band, saggy-assed cunt…”
I laugh, I can’t help myself. “Rubber-band, saggy-assed cunt?”
“Yeah you know, stretches all to hell like a rubber band and then snaps back and cut your dick off, but once it’s been stretched it never actually goes back to the same…”
“I get the picture. Can we not talk about that whore-bag? There are other things I’d like to do when you’re in my arms.”
“Like what?”
“I’ll show you,” I whisper, deepening our kiss.
“Max,” she whispers.
“Quiet, Kitten. I’m going to love you real gentle.”
“What if I don’t want gentle?”
“Too damn bad,” I tell her, and I mean it. Tomorrow I’ll give her what her body craves. Tonight I need to make sure she knows I care and that she matters to me.