Dealing with Michael made it damn near impossible to get my footing. He was so wishy-washy. I wanted to smack him, to knock some sense into him. He was so terrified that his bear was going to hurt me, but it was too late for that. He’d claimed me and, according to him, that meant forever. It was too late to run from me now.
I knew I couldn’t stop him, though. He was set in his way of thinking, which was that his bear was a monster who wanted to kill. I had to give him time and hope that while I waited for him to figure stuff out, I could adjust to what his world meant for me.
For me and the baby growing inside of me, I thought with a sigh. I’d better get myself to a doctor to be sure that I really was pregnant. How ironic that I’d waited to have an accidental pregnancy until meeting the man who was supposedly made for me, my soulmate. I couldn’t have just done it as a stupid teenager. Nope. Leave it to me to be an adult making teenage mistakes.
CHAPTER 10: Michael
It’d been two weeks since I ran out of Daisy’s bedroom after nearly tearing her throat out. My bear had turned nice at the last moment, but I hadn’t been sure before then. I was terrified that I was going to watch my mate die by my own claws. I’d spent my time away from her thinking of her, watching her when I could, and working until there were blisters on my hands. Every day I spent away from my mate was torture, but I had no choice. I couldn’t put her or her baby at risk.
I’d finally talked to Matt about what happened. I figured he was most likely to understand at least a little of what I was going through. There’d been a time when his bear wasn’t exactly friendly. But, when I finished telling him everything, he just called me a dumbass and walked away.
John finally came home. He was just shy of a year younger than me and he and I had always been close. Irish twins, is what my father had called us. He was quiet and more reserved than my other brothers and he’d never made me feel bad when I didn’t go out and hang out with the rest of them as bears. He just let me be.
He’d been on the road, trying to convince the woman he loved to give Wyoming a chance. I personally felt like if you had to beg a woman to try out Wyoming, she probably wasn’t meant for the bear shifter lifestyle. Plus, there was the fact that she wasn’t his mate. He’d been in LA for months, after making a deal with her that he would give city a try for a while.
He was the only one of my brothers who hadn’t already settled down. We were both having women trouble. Although, I guess mine was less woman trouble and more bear trouble.
We sat on the back porch step at the ranch house, a shared bottle of whiskey between us. John listened to me without interrupting and then thought quietly to himself.
“I barely know anything about her. I’ve been…watching her. Just to make sure she was safe. Well, that, and honestly, I felt like I would die if I didn’t see her at all. She’s kind and sweet. She does everything for the people around her and I know she cried when she went to the obstetrician. I couldn’t even go to her and comfort her. I’m a horrible mate. I can’t give her what she needs and deserves because I’m too goddamned dangerous.”
John took his hat off and rested it on his leg. “You’re stalking your mate instead of talking to her?”
I grumbled. “I’m not stalking her. I just like to keep an eye on her.”
He shook his head. “Michael, I know you’ve always been different. I don’t fully understand what happened with you and I wasn’t here for all that shit that happened with Lucas, but I know you. And I know you’re making a mistake.”
I started to speak, but he continued on. “You didn’t hurt her. Your bear wouldn’t have. He couldn’t. He loves her just as much as you would if you gave yourself the chance.”
My stomach twisted and I knew that I didn’t need the chance. I already loved her. I wanted to be with her. It tore me apart not being next to her, getting to know everything about her, spending every second she’d allow right beside her, making love to her every night.
“He already proved that he isn’t going to hurt her. You’re hurting yourself, and your mate, because of some fears that you need to realize aren’t based in reality. You wanted to be a doctor, to help people, to save lives. You’re not the monster you think you are. You’re one of the most gentle guys I know. All of our brothers would say the same.”
I snorted and poured myself a hefty glass of whiskey. “Yeah, right. You should see them when I’m around the kids. They nearly pushed me away from Daisy when she was here. They don’t trust me.”