“Which tells me that you aren’t getting any time to be social. You are this beautiful, healthy young woman, and it’s part of our genetic drive to seek a mate.”
“Ha! You sound like Wild Kingdom or something. Say it again with a British accent.”
“I’m not kidding. Look at you! You have these gorgeous, big blue eyes that half the chicks working here hate you for and a killer body that most of the guys here love you for.”
“And a pixielike face, I know. You’re making me blush.” I grinned, having heard all this before. She’d been on a campaign to hook me up with someone since she’d known me.
Cynthia was the polar opposite of me, being a tall glass of lemonade. While I barely topped five feet three inches, Cynthia was willowy, wearing clothes the way models on the runway made them look. Lucky duck. We all have pluses and minuses, right?
“No, seriously.” Cynthia warmed to her topic. “Since I’ve known you, you haven’t had a serious guy in your life, and I’ve known you more than a year. You have never talked about anyone that mattered to you, past or present. I’ve also never seen you go out on dates or even show an interest. I would think you were going lesbian, except you don’t show an interest in women, either. It’s no wonder you’re starting to have side effects.”
“I can’t help it if no one around me is interesting enough to get my attention.”
“I think you’re just hiding out. I think you experienced betrayal from your mother, your grandmother, your aunt, and now you don’t take chances.”
I had a moment of pause. First as I tried to absorb the pow feeling to my gut without showing how it hurt, and second trying to remember when I’d discussed my childhood with Cynthia. I didn’t mind that she knew, but I hadn’t been bodily prepared for the emotional hit. I mean, of course I must have told her, but I didn’t want to think of how my mom took off in a drug haze and left me with Cruella, my sociopathic aunt who could barely take care of herself, in a rundown trailer park in Pomona, California.
Fighting back the burn in my eyes, because for some reason her evaluation really stung, I replied, “I’m trying to pay the bills, Dr. Ruth. If I don’t succeed, I have no one, and I choose those words deliberately, no one to fall back on. I don’t have the lovely family that you were blessed with, and I’m not trying to start a fight here by saying that. You do have a lovely family that cares about what happens to you. Just let me share this with you without getting all analytical on me.”
Cynthia’s eyes narrowed, and her pink, heart-shaped lips pursed slightly. Finally she smiled. “Okay. So what did he look like?”
Back on track. I gave a smile of relief. “I was blindfolded! I couldn’t see, but he definitely had amazing fingers.”
“Blindfolded and tied down while a guy gives you an orgasm. I wouldn’t mind having a dream like that one.”
“Well, if you’re hoping for the real thing soon, I know a certain guy playing at the club tonight.”
“Really? Who?”
“Shep’s band is starting at ten.”
“Shep.” Cynthia closed her eyes for a moment and sighed. “He’s scruffy, dirty, unkempt and broke most of the time, but there’s something about him. Isn’t there? It’s in the eyes. They’re soulful. It’s a shame he got evicted from our apartment complex. I enjoyed knowing he was an apartment away.”