Quicksilver Dreams(162)

                “Why?”

                He looked at me steadily. “Because someone’s trying to kill you.”

                “I’ll take care of myself.”

                “Not while I’m here.”

                “Why?” I needed to know.

                “Do you always need to question everything?” He said this with some irritation.

                “Yes! I do! People who are close to me seem to want to fuck me over all the time, and you’re no different.”

                “That’s bullshit!” he growled, scowling at me.

                “Then tell me why you need to be here!”

                “I don’t know!” He prowled the room and muttered again, “I don’t know. I don’t understand it. It’s...you’re inside me...somehow.” He paused in front of me, reaching a hand out to grasp my waist. “Come with me. Let’s solve this together, and then maybe we can talk?”

                No, no, no! There was nothing to talk about! But the hint of vulnerability in his pale green eyes and the warm familiarity of his deep voice—part of what made me feel connected to him—were my undoing. I could feel my resolve crumbling. I’d felt so sure before, but the longer he stood there, so proud and strong, reminding me of what we’d gone through together, protecting me to the point of putting his life on the line for me, the less I could tolerate seeing him walk away and the more I wanted to cling.

                I was going to agree to go. The idea of being apart from him stung so painfully. I’d never been so foolish over a man before, but I just couldn’t separate myself from him. This was going to be my greatest mistake to date, because I was making it knowingly. I was that stupid female on the talk show who said “Because I love him” when asked why she kept going back to the bastard for more pain. But the difference was Ryder wasn’t a bastard. I knew he was a man of integrity, which was maybe why this hurt more.

                “Okay. I’ll go.”

                He released his breath. I imagine that he’d figured I’d put up more of a fight, but truthfully, I was scared and unsure of the outcomes. The bottom line was, I did trust him with my life, if not my heart.

                “Good. Let’s get this done. The sooner we’re out of here, the better I’ll feel.”

                My thinking was a little frazzled, and I did my best to grab a couple of work outfits and my war chest of cosmetics, which equaled a small case. I grabbed a shower and changed into summer clothes, feeling like I was burning up in the pants and blouse I’d been wearing on Te’re. In no time, we were back on Ryder’s motorcycle, heading for the coast, and I secretly allowed myself to indulge in the pleasure of resting my cheek on his strong back. I wished things could be different, but they weren’t. My father had been one of the enemy, which I wasn’t ready to think about just yet.

                I would need to think about it soon though, according to Dreya. I closed my eyes to better focus my thinking. Somehow, something really terrible had happened to my father, and whatever it was had caused my mother to spiral into depression and out of reality. So how would I find my mother after having no contact for more than thirteen years?

                The air cooled as we got closer to the beach, which was welcoming. Ryder pulled into an alley, parked behind a building and shut off the motor. He held out a hand to help me dismount, and I took it, ignoring the automatic warmth that fluttered in my gut whenever we touched. Nothing good old antacid wouldn’t fix right up, I told myself firmly.