Quest of Hope(167)
“Dear boy,” she said slowly. “I am instructed by Don Vincenzo to entreat your cause for penance. It is time to bare all to these three priests.”
Heinrich had dreaded this moment from the day he left Stettin. The litany of his sins and failings was one that he was weary of recounting. Yet duty was now upon him and it was time to sit before God’s chosen to receive their wisdom. The judgment was imminent and he must not falter.
The man lowered his head in shame and told his story. He began with Baldric’s scorn for his sloth as a child, then spoke of his release of the reeve’s dog, the vow, the slaughter of the Gunnars, his hatred of Baldric, his hatred of Marta, and his affections for Katharina. He wandered through his life backward and forward. He confessed his temptations to break his vow, the confusions of his faith, and finally admitted to the killing of Richard’s murderer and the striking of Father Pious.
That done, he went on to acknowledge his treason on behalf of the Stedingers; of lies and ill-will, of selfishness, pride, and of undeserved joy. The man groaned and wept for the better part of an hour, earnestly descending into each dark chamber of his heart in a desperate search to fling open every door. He feared to forget a single act, lest his penance be futile.
When finished, he stood exhausted and trembling. Anoush wiped tears from the deep furrows of her cheeks and held the man’s arm with her two hands. She leaned against him and prayed while the priests huddled.
After a half hour of low murmurs, Father Vincenzo announced they had come to a decision, and Anoush was asked to interpret as he spoke the pronouncement.
Heinrich stiffened and waited bravely. The priests folded their hands and bowed. “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti, I begin.”
Anoush held Heinrich’s sweating hand in her own. She looked up at him sadly over a shoulder now stooped even farther as if the weight of the man’s melancholy had come upon her as well. Her voice was strong and soothing as she translated the edict of the priests: “As the relic-bearer you have earned a right to our charity and we are here to return you to the fold of God’s beloved. By your own witness your sins are both mortal and venial. Your words accuse you rightly as an evil man in grave peril. But our Lord is not without mercy, nor the Virgin Mother.
“First, this very day you shall enter into the confessional to receive absolution.
“Second, for your temporal indulgence hear this. We concur that eighteen months is a fitting time for you to serve God and man in penance. Now hear us: you must wear the hair shirt and breeches each day and each night. You shall be the bell ringer for this church at every ringing of every day, bar none other than if excused for other labors. Whether by sickness or by injury, by weariness or distress, you are without excuse. In mornings, you shall assist in the baking of bread for the poor children we serve. In afternoons, you shall serve this humble church as courier, transporter, wagoner, and the like. In evenings, you shall lie prostrate before the altar and recite two Pater Nosters for each known sin committed, and one Ave Maria for each known sin yet harbored in your heart. At the bells of matins, you shall awaken and walk barefoot to St. Giovani’s. There you shall lie prostrate at the base of the Sclara Santa and recite alternating Aves and Paters for each of its twenty-eight steps.”
To Anoush’s horror, Vincenzo then yawned and sighed. He shrugged as he continued. “These are our commands; these are the words of your Holy Church. Kneel before me and swear now that you shall keep this penance and the vow of your own past. Swear to keep it whole.”
Heinrich’s mouth was dry and he was sweating. He felt bound again, trapped within the order he had hoped would save him. He wanted to run away. For no apparent reason, a vision of Katharina and the Christmas star falling through the night’s sky at Weyer’s church suddenly filled his mind. For all its pleasure, the simple memory damned him all the more. With a groan the man bent slowly to his knee and yielded. “I… I so swear.”
“Strength and mercy to you, my son. Come to us on the thirtieth day of June in the year 1212 and swear on the relic that you have brought that you have so obeyed your penance, and we shall bless your return home, you and your family absolved in heaven and on earth from all your wicked past.”
Heinrich could not speak. He lifted his head and swallowed hard on the lump clogging his throat. He looked to Anoush whose eyes were filled with compassion and whose cheeks were wet with tears. She led the poor wretch from Vincenzo’s chamber and toward his cell. Somewhere in the dark corridors he heard her murmur softly, “This is not the way.”