Chikae sits, beatific look on her face, as I place baby Addison in her arms. She looks down at him with such a proud expression on her face, then I see a little tear running down her cheek.
"What's wrong?" I ask her, picking up Nikki from the bassinet and gingerly sitting down beside Chikae, trying not to jostle little Nikki in my arms since we’ve just gotten her to sleep.
Chikae meets my eyes. "I'm growing up," she says. "I'm not the baby of the family anymore."
"Well, sure you are," I reassure her. "You're still the baby of mommy and daddy's family, and I am your big sister."
"But the thing is, nowadays you sometimes feel more like my mama," she says softly. "And you're not, really. You’re their mama instead." Her brown eyes glisten with unshed tears.
We're curled up on Nicholas' leather couch, the cotton-knit blanket keeping us warm. Well I guess it’s mine and Nicholas’ couch, since I live here now.
"Aww, Chicky Boom Boom," I say as I lean over to kiss her cheek. "You'll always be very special to me. Nobody can take your place. Not ever, not at all."
Despite the tears her smile is brave, or at least as brave as an almost-eight-year-old can be. She's been through a lot of changes, this one, from losing our mom, to dad being in the hospital, to moving into the guest house on Nicholas' property with dad and Darius. Sure, the changes of late have been good ones, but at the same time they haven’t been exactly easy.
Nicholas comes striding into the room with a big smile on his face, comes and kisses me, and snuggles in beside us, putting his arm around me and getting Chikae in the hug too.
Then he senses the tension. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Chikae says quickly. Then she amends: "Well, I love Addison and Nikki, but I'm just feeling a little sad that I'm not the baby of the family anymore."
"Hm, I see," says Nicholas. His blue eyes scrunch. "Well I'm not rightly sure I agree with that, because you’ll always be the baby of your immediate family - but I can tell you one thing. Addison and Nikki are going to need a very special auntie to show them the ropes in life, and I can't think of one person who would be better at that than you, Chikae. Do you feel up to the task?"
"Really?" Chikae asks. “Well, I guess so.” She screws up her nose. “I’m sure I can be a good auntie. Are they really my niece and nephew?”
"Certainly," he says. "And they’re going to need someone so smart as you, a lot.” Nicholas brushes a curl out of her eyes. “I’m going to tell you something,” he says solemnly. “Family is very important. I don't know what I would've done without my brothers, and I'm sure that these little ones are gonna need you just as much."
She looks thoughtful. "I'm not sure that Darius was all that helpful," she muses.
We burst into peals of laughter.
"What'chu talking about?" Darius says as he walks in the room and strikes a pose, hand under his chin and squinted eyes. He's boisterous, ready to play. "Ah never mind. Say Nick, you want to play some catch? Or go riding?" His smile is beseeching, his head tilted winningly. He’s quite the little charmer.
"I'd love to, as long as we’re not needed here for chores or anything," Nicholas looks at me, eyes wide and open. "Do you want us to take care of anything, Adisa?"
I grin and shake my head. "You fellows go on. Chicky and I and the babies will have some super-snuggle bonding time." I pull her closer and she scooches in and I feel like I’m in heaven.
His kiss against my cheek is soft, with a whisper of stubble that tickles me and sends a shiver down my spine, to my core.
"Sounds good, thanks babe," he says, voice soft. Just that little contact and I can't wait to get him in bed with me tonight, once everyone has gone home to the guest house. He’s the sexiest man I can imagine, and his touch drives me wild.
Once they're gone, Chikae and I snuggle the babies as we lean on each other.
"I think Nikki looks more like you and Addison more like Nicholas," she says musingly.
"Really? Seems to me they're both a mix -- of all of us," I brush Nikki’s fine, fuzzy curls with the tips of my fingers.
"Addy has daddy's ears," she says. I look over and realize it's true.
"Is he still on his walk?" I ask. He's been going every day, a little more each time. He’s been keeping it up after the operation, and now that we’re here, he loves walking around the grounds of Nicholas' property which is almost ranch-like for a place up north. He's been dutifully taking the doctor's advice and working on his health, which is great to see him finally ready to live, after he gave up for that time after my mother's death.
"Daddy's a lot better these days," says Chikae, echoing my thoughts. "He spends more time with us."
"Yes, I'm so glad."
“Ever since the wedding. Your wedding was so beautiful, Addy. When I get married, I want it to be just like that. You looked like a princess.”
Ever since the wedding, when he gave me mama's pearl earrings as my something old, and handed me her pocket copy of the Bible as something borrowed, Daddy's been happier, more alive, and acting more like the dad again. Nicholas gave me my ‘something new’ - an amazing pair of pearl encrusted Jimmy Choo shoes to peek out from under my wedding dress, and of course Rain, my matron of honor, winked as she gave me the prettiest garter belt with a soft blue ribbon threaded through the lace.
But one of the most special things on that day was my dad walking me down the aisle - it is something I'll never forget. His face beaming, and how his warm, gently lined skin looked against the crisp white collar and silver tie, the clutch of his arm around mine. He kept patting my arm as he held it, and looked around at the members of the congregation, as if to say, "This is my daughter, isn't she beautiful? I'm so proud of her."
The wedding was a grander affair than I ever expected a wedding could be, and certainly turned out a lot fancier than we had been originally planning, but once Nicholas’ family got in on it, they kept showering us with gifts and ideas, and treating us to the next level up on whatever we chose... so everything was as sumptuous and elegant - and honestly? as fun - as possible.
It was full of my relatives and his as well. All of his brothers were there, except for Saint - he’s apparently the black sheep of the family, so I didn’t get to meet him, and everyone seemed to go a little bit quiet when I asked if he was coming or not. Nicholas said to set a place for him, but Christian, Rowan and Dylan were skeptical about it. I tried to forget about it, thinking I will meet him at some point, but up until the very last minute before the party ended, he hadn’t shown.
“Damn, Nick,” Rowan had said. “You may not be able to count on Saint, but you sure can count on me. You and Adisa have me behind you for the rest of our lives.” His smile was as infectious as his Texan drawl, the same one that slipped out occasionally from Nicholas if he had an extra glass of wine at dinner or if he was really tired. I grinned happily to meet these men who grew up with my Nicholas - their “Nick.” They’re such good men, the Corbett brothers, and I can’t help but wonder: whatever could Saint have done to become the bad boy of this upstanding and beautiful family? I might never know.
In any case, even though I wasn’t showing, I’m sure my dad cottoned on to the fact that I was pregnant at the time, or would have if he had given it any thought at all, but he never said a word. Just accepted the little ones being ‘born a little premature’ with complete and utter bliss, and took his job on as granddad with a new sense of purpose in life.
"Baby," he said to me with a huge smile when we first came home from the hospital, "you do good work." He held a baby in each arm, and grinned. “Twins! My lord. Twins!”
“Yes, I’ll say we do good work. I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love with your boss,” I joked at the time.
But that’s what I did. I fell in love, and I fell hard.
And over a year later, I’m even more in love.
I shake myself out of my reverie and turn back to Chikae who still seems thoughtful, and nudge her with my elbow. “What you thinking about? Your birthday celebration?”
“I am now!” She grins, ready for this conversation at least as evidenced by her smile that stretches from ear to ear. “Are we going to do a dual celebration like last year?”
“Is that what you want?” I ask.
“Sure! Darius is a pain but I love him,” she says thoughtfully and I giggle. “He and I will always have each other, so we might as well celebrate our birthdays together.” Her eyes narrow suddenly. “As long as we each get our own cake!”
“Isn’t that what we did last year?” I ask. “Daddy was in the hospital so it was quite a hectic time.”
“Well yeah, Nicholas was the one who organized it, right?” She closes her eyes in recollection. “And he got the best cakes ever! Can he organize it again? Please Addy?”
“We’ll see hon,” I say, slightly put out that Chikae preferred Nicholas’ cakes from the best bakery in New York to my store bought mixes, but I can’t really blame her. Who can say no to real buttercream?