We hugged a little stiffly before she sat down. She looked nervous. She actually looked very nervous.
"Is something wrong?" I asked, worried that I was the reason for her expression.
"Oh," she said breezily, "no, nothing's wrong. I'm just, uh, I just don't have too much time is all."
"What a surprise," I replied sarcastically before immediately regretting it.
Tasha's eyes darted up to mine. "What do you mean?"
I sighed. "Sorry - I didn't come here to act like a jerk right off the bat but damn, girl, you sure know how to make a guy feel welcome. Listen, Tasha, I know you're busy. If there's one thing I know about you, it's that. But we haven't seen each other for a long time and I - I meant something to you once, didn't I? It would just be nice if we could talk without me having to worry about you itching to get away from me."
She looked down at the floor for a few seconds and when she replied, her voice was so quiet I could barely hear it. "I'm sorry, Kaden. I didn't - I didn't mean it like that."
The waitress came to take our order and I let Tasha go first, still telling myself that the whole baby story was ridiculous. She didn't look like she had a baby. But then, how did women who had babies look? Was that something you could tell simply from a glance? It wasn't, I knew that.
We made small talk for a little while, asking about each other's moms, our work etc.
"You're super famous now, huh?" She asked, finally cracking a smile after we'd had a little time to relax.
I laughed. "Yeah, I guess I am."
"Everyone here talks about you all the time. Little Falls just loooves the fact that Kaden Barlow grew up here."
"Huh," I said. "Do they?"
"Yeah, they do. Are you surprised?"
There was something odd in Tasha's tone, something weirdly defensive or even aggressive. I didn't like it.
"Uh, no, I guess not," I replied. "Is something wrong?"
Tasha did that thing, then. That thing she does when something is wrong but she's going to pretend it isn't until you goddamn well drag it out of her. She looked off to the side and gave the slightest shrug. "Nope, nothing's wrong Kaden. I guess I'm just wondering why you ordered me to meet you here, is all. It's been a long time since we saw each other."
"Ordered you?" I asked, baffled. "I'm not stupid enough to think I can order Natasha Greeley to do a single goddamn thing she doesn't want to do. I asked you."
The comment was meant to be a joke but it didn't come out that way. And she didn't take it that way. We both fell silent for a little while, stirring our drinks and waiting for the other person to speak again. I gave in first.
"Why are you being so mean?" I asked quietly.
"I'm sorry, Kaden, I don't know what you're talking-"
I leaned forward across the table. "Yes you do, Tasha. Don't treat me like an idiot. I mean, if you don't want to hang out with me that's fine, just tell me. But I'm not stupid. I can tell when someone is brushing me off."
"No," she said, reaching out and grabbing my hand before immediately snatching it back when she realized what she'd done. "Kaden, no, it's not - it's not that. I'm just stressed out lately. I'm stressed out today."
"I don't understand you, Tasha," I said, shaking my head.
"What does that mean?"
"It just means you've always been like this. Hot and cold. I either feel like you really-" I had to stop myself from saying the word 'love' there - "like you really enjoy being with me or you just think of me as an annoyance."
She laughed. "An annoyance? Kaden, everyone in this country loves you."
"I'm not talking about them," I told her. I'm talking about you. And you're dodging the issue, again. Why do you even ask me what I mean if you're not interested in the answer?"
I watched as Tasha opened her mouth to reply, reconsidered and then took a slow breath. "Do you really want to know the answer to that?" She asked. There was a strange, defeated tone in her voice.
"Yes! Yes, I do."
Her eyes were steady on mine. "Because I'm scared of being around you."
In hindsight, I should have guessed what Tasha meant when she said that but I was in defensive mode, too, at the time. "Scared of me?" I spluttered, raising my voice and then lowering it again because we were in public. "Scared?! Jesus, what does that even mean? Do you know how hard it's been, dealing with you? You're the most difficult person I ever knew, you know. And you didn't notice any of it, did you? If you did, you wouldn't be sitting here telling me you're scared of me."
"I don't mean it like-" she started, before suddenly shutting up and getting to her feet. I watched as she pulled a ten dollar bill out of her wallet and left it on the table. She was leaving.