Quarterback's Secret Baby(62)

"Tasha?"

I jerked out of the spiral of neurosis that was threatening to drag me down. Kaden was outside the door.

"Yeah?"

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah. I'm just, uh, just fixing my hair."

"Are you hungry?"

I wasn't hungry, but Kaden needed to eat so I told him I was. He told me he was ordering pizza and I looked down in surprise at a sudden feeling of wetness on my thighs. It actually took a few seconds for it to register what it was but when it did I couldn't help but smile. And then, after the smile had passed, suddenly fully realize what had happened.

Not once. Not one time. I mean, I knew that one time was technically enough but surely the odds were very low. I pushed the worry out of my mind, cleaned myself up with some toilet paper, and rejoined Kaden in the living room.

"I got Hawaiian," he said, pulling me down next to him and kissing my neck.

"Hawaiian?" I asked. "I can't believe people eat pineapple on their pizza. What's wrong with you?"

He knew I was teasing him. And he was smiling. That was something. We hadn't forgotten what was going on but it felt like we'd been allowed a time out from the awfulness of reality, just for a couple of hours. The pizza came and we ate it straight out of the box, curled up together on the sofa. When Kaden reached for his sixth slice - and they were big slices - I laughed.

"What?" He asked. "I have to keep my weight up. I did the Combine in February but that doesn't mean I can just waste away before the draft happens."

"The Combine?" I asked. "Sounds like farm equipment."

"Nah, it's just a sort of - I guess it's kind of like a job fair for the NFL. The teams send people to see all the prospective players - test our skills, interview us, give us a bunch of tests. How you do in that process determines whether or not you get drafted."

I leaned back on the sofa, not sure how I felt about discussing the NFL. 'And you did well, right? I saw something in the paper here about it. I think."

I was pretending to Kaden like I hardly noticed the news stories about him when they popped up. Which was a lie.

"Yeah, I did OK."

"OK? Shut up, everyone at work was talking about how you're definitely going to be the first pick."

Kaden's face darkened. "Maybe. It never felt real, but it feels even less real now. It's funny isn't it? How you can think something is the only thing that matters until something that really matters happens - and you realize the first thing just isn't anything like as important as you thought it was?"

"Oh, I know," I replied, putting an arm around those big shoulders. "I know. I didn't mean to make light of-"

"No, no, Tasha, it's not you. It's just what I'm actually thinking. It's crazy though, huh? I've already got a manager - he's pushing me to take 'media training' lessons before draft day. What the hell are media training lessons, anyway?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's where they tell you not to hit on female sports reporters or pee on your opponent's legs?"

Kaden chuckled. "Yeah, probably. It just feels so weird knowing what's coming. I'm going to have to leave Brooks and finish my degree somewhere else. And I have no idea where."

"Well," I told him, trying to be diplomatic but ever so slightly irked by the fact that he made it sound like someone else was forcing him to make decisions he didn't want to. "You don't have to, do you? I mean, you could stay at Brooks if you wanted, right?"

"Well, yeah. I could stay at Brooks. But this is my best shot at a good contract. What if I stay playing college ball and my game goes to hell or I get injured? The NFL is my only game plan, Tasha. It would be stupid of me to gamble. And who knows? If my mom pulls through my parents might need money. They have a lot, but medical bills can really pile up, you know?"

"I know," I said gently. "I know. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be insensitive."

"Will you stay the night?"

I looked up, wondering if I'd heard him correctly. I had. "I mean," he started, "only if you want to, obviously. I just - Tasha, I know it's asking a lot but I really don't want to be alone right now."

There was no denying the surge of affection in my heart. I wanted to stay the night. I probably would have said yes to any question Kaden had chosen to ask me. He was in pain and I hated seeing it on his face and hearing it in his voice. Seeing someone who has always been larger than life brought low is somehow more shocking and painful than seeing it happen to - well, someone you don't see as larger than life. Like yourself.

"Sure I'll stay," I told him. "I have to go to work in the morning but I'll stay."

"Good," Kaden replied. He laid his head in my lap and I felt his large, heavy body slowly relaxing until he fell asleep.