"OK," I said, both shocked at the emotion in my father's voice and suddenly filled with an intense desire to be there for my parents. "I'm leaving right now, Dad. For the airport. I'll call you when the plane lands. OK?"
"Yes, OK, son."
He sounded so lost. I had never heard him sound like that, not ever in my life. It felt like being in a house and feeling the foundation starting to shift underneath you.
"Dad?"
"Yes, Kaden?"
"I'm coming right now. I'll be there soon. If you talk to mom, tell her I'm coming. Tell her I love her. And also, Dad," I paused, steadying my voice. "I love you."
Chapter 22: Natasha
About a week after our somewhat awkward conversation regarding Kaden, Jennifer walked into the lunch room at the office and casually asked me if I knew he was back in town. I was eating leftover mac-n-cheese out of a plastic bowl and thinking about the possibility of getting an evening off to go out with her and a small group of other friends. My first thought was that I must have misheard what she was saying.
"What?" I asked, looking up.
"Your ex, the football player. He's back in town. Ed saw him last night at Hawley's.
"Ed saw him?" I asked. Edward Rankin was the owner and senior lawyer of the law office where we worked. "How does Ed know who my ex is?"
Jennifer gave me a little shrug and into it I read the most likely explanation: people talk. Especially people who work with a small group of people. It's often not even mean-spirited gossip, it's just the usual interest in the lives of those you work closely with. Still, I couldn't let her off that easily.
"Ugh," I said, setting down my mac-n-cheese. "You told Ed? Who else did you tell?"
Jennifer gave me a look. "I didn't tell anyone, Nat. People know - Kaden Barlow is a huge deal in this town, someone knew you used to date him in high school, that's all. And yeah, Ed saw him at Hawley's."
"I doubt that," I said. "He's in California at Brooks. Ed probably saw one of the Reinhardt players and mistook him for Kaden."
"I don't know, he said it was definitely him."
"Really?" I asked, trying my hardest to make it look like I didn't care either way whether or not Kaden was in town. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter."
Jennifer nodded. "Yeah, I know. It's so hard seeing exes. You probably won't run into him anyway, he can't be here for long - Ed says all the sports nerds are saying he's going to be drafted first in July."
My appetite was gone. My heart was pounding and my stomach was suddenly full of butterflies. I put the mac-n-cheese back in the little work fridge and went to go back to my desk. Before I could make my exit, though, Jen came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, Nat."
"Yeah?" I replied, annoyed at myself for being so affected by the news of Kaden's possible return to Little Falls.
"I didn't - uh, I didn't mean to just spring that on you. I'm sorry, I wasn't really thinking."
"No," I said, forcing a smile. "It's fine. I just have a lot of work to do."
Jen didn't believe me, I could see it on her face. Probably not surprising, I never have been as good as I used to think I was at hiding my emotions.
I got nothing done for the rest of the day, despite my repeated attempts to concentrate. Was Kaden back in town? And if so, why? What if he tried to contact me? What if he didn't try to contact me? The last thing I needed was to see him, but my ego still wanted the validation of an attempt to talk to me. On the way home from the office I took extra notice of pedestrians, other drivers, people walking in and out of the big box stores that lined the main road before it reached my own neighborhood. I did not see Kaden.
It was for the best, I told myself. What possible good would it do me to see him? To stir up all the old feelings I'd spent so long trying to deal with? None. I had a quick shower and got busy preparing dinner. Alisha got back from work with Rosa in tow about ten minutes later.
"Hey, Tash," she called out as she headed upstairs. "Just let me get this one changed into clean clothes and I'll come give you a hand."
I chopped the vegetables with extra vigor that night, annoyed at myself for being so distracted by the news that Kaden might be back in town and equally determined to stick to the usual routines of my life. Then I went and nearly sliced off the tip of my thumb about two minutes into slicing onions.
"OW!"
"What?" Alisha asked, joining me in the kitchen and coming over to check what I'd done. "Ugh, Tash, it's bleeding. Here, put it under the water." She turned the tap on and led me to the sink. "Stay there, I'll go get a band-aid."