We spent the next couple of weeks in an odd limbo, not just friends - at least, not that it seemed - but not boyfriend and girlfriend either. It was my fault. There was the constant background worry about my mom, the little jolt of dread every time my phone made a sound. There was also my own natural aversion to risk. He was leaving. Even if he went to State - and it wasn't confirmed he would - that was three hours away and I didn't have a car. I also knew how college went for people from small towns. I'd seen it happen to cousins and the older siblings of friends. No matter how badly they wanted to maintain connections to home, they always fell into a different lifestyle, a different crowd. And underneath all of it was that same old fear of trusting someone - a man, and one I didn't know very well.
The limbo-state ended the day Kaden brought me the 'cornbread' he made for me. I was sitting outside in the sunshine with Lena when he strode up with an earnest look on his face.
"Hi Kaden," Lena said, "what's up?"
"Oh," he replied, shrugging. "Not much. I actually - Tasha, can I talk to you? Privately I mean?"
Lena got up and made a 'call me' motion with her hand before leaving me alone with Kaden. He sat down. Did he look nervous?
"Is something wrong?" I asked. Kaden wasn't the nervous type. "Did something happen?"
"No, no, nothing like that," he chuckled, reaching into his bag. "I just - I made you something. Actually I made you four somethings, but this is the only one that worked out."
I opened the cake tin he handed me and immediately started to giggle. It was the saddest cornbread I had ever seen. For one thing, it was white. It was also flat and rather hard.
"Aww," Kaden groaned, "come on, it isn't that bad. Is it?"
I looked closer. There were little yellow chunks of...was that corn?
"Oh my God," I said, unable to stop laughing. "Kaden, is that corn? Like, is that pieces of actual corn?"
He was embarrassed - and completely adorable - rubbing his forehead with his hand and shaking his head. "Yeah," he replied, finally. "Yeah, it's pieces of corn. I looked up a bunch of recipes online! And they all said to use cornmeal, but we didn't have any and I don't really know what that is so I just figured I could use more flour and add a can of corn instead."
I took a small bite of Kaden's strange little corn-cake and that was enough. It was awful. He knew it, too.
"Aw dammit," he chuckled, not quite able to keep his face straight. "I thought that might work. Shit."
"Did you even taste this?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Nope. I just thought the corn from a can would make it - you know, corny."
"Corny?"
"Yeah. I thought it would make it taste like-"
I burst out laughing all over again and Kaden joined me, even though I could see he was genuinely disappointed. It took a few minutes for me to regain my composure but when I did I reached out and rubbed his shoulder.
"Hey," I said, still smiling. "Kaden, hey."
"What?"
"This is one of the sweetest things anyone's ever done for me."
"Don't." He told me. "It's awful. I don't even know why I brought it. I'm such a dumbass."
"No," I said, more insistent now, turning towards him. "I'm not going to lie, it doesn't taste good. But you made it, didn't you?"
"Yes I did, Tasha. Yes I did. I think you can tell I made it."
Every time I was alone with Kaden he did something to me. I don't know how he did it, but he charmed me. I looked over at him - the big, burly, blond quarterback with a jaw like a superhero and a big, sheepish grin on his face. The cornbread was bad. But Kaden wasn't. Neither of us even noticed when he leaned in to kiss me, sending the container and its contents tumbling onto the ground.
When we came up for air, my heart was pounding and the blood was rushing in my veins.
"Fuck, Tasha..." Kaden whispered, running his fingers down the side of my face.
"What?"
"You're so pretty. I love that dimple - there, that one - the one that shows up on your cheek whenever you're smiling hard."
He bent down for another kiss and I felt a little sliver of control slip away as his tongue slid between my lips.
"Natasha Greeley! Kaden Barlow!"
We both sat straight up as the voice of vice-principal Ward boomed across the field towards us.
"Come on, you two! Not one school grounds! Let's go."
Kaden turned to me and whispered: "Busted." But he didn't get up. Mr. Ward started across the grass towards us and I stood up.
"Kaden!" I said. "Come on, we have to go."
"I can't." He said, making no attempt to stand up.