"Oh, shut up, Aspen!" She shuffles her papers, again avoiding eye contact.
"Oh. My. God. You got laid, didn't you?" I tease, inching closer.
Her face turns about ten shades of red and she flips me off. "As a matter of fact, I did, and you were right. A little D did wonders." Christine's voice has that new relationship dreaminess I've become used to hearing from Kendall whenever she gets a new boyfriend.
I laugh, clapping my hands in praise. "Of course, I was right. I'm always right when it comes to the D. There is nothing like a big D to fix a bad attitude."
"Lord, Aspen, you are terrible." She shakes her head, obviously fighting back laughter. "Time to get to work, crazy lady. You've got back-to-back tours today. Two buses full of middle-schoolers."
"Guess I better get some more coffee if I'm chasing kids all day."
I couldn't have asked for a better distraction from all thoughts of Morgan.
MORGAN
After Aspen blew me off Tuesday, I decide I need to talk to her in person and explain everything to her. Telling a girl that the same night I kissed her, my ex-fiancée just happened to show up that same night isn't really something I want to explain in a text or phone call.
I head to my office early before Thursday's class in hopes she comes in like I asked her to, but from her prompt response, I have a feeling she won't.
"Morgan?" I look up and see Claire in the doorway of my office with a bright, eager smile.
I groan. Can this day get any fucking worse?
"Yeah, hi," I mutter, not in the mood to amuse her. "What can I help you with?"
She steps in and takes a seat across from my desk. "I was just wondering if you are attending the life drawing workshop this weekend."
"Yeah, I'll be there. I'm hoping some of my students show up."
"Oh, yeah. Me, too. Although I'm not really sure what to expect with first and second-year students. Most of them are only concerned about where to get a fake ID made and how to get out of their homework." She snickers.
That makes me grin a little. "Well, at least that prepares me for what to expect from them in the next year or two."
She laughs, way more over the top than necessary. "I promise to do my best in taming them before then." She winks and it makes my skin crawl.
"Are you attending?" I ask only to be polite.
"Yes. I love these types of events. So, since we're both going, I was wondering if you wanted to do dinner or drinks after."
I shift in my chair, uneasy and reluctant on how to answer her. "Um, I'm not really sure-"
"Oh, sorry!" I hear Aspen's sweet voice behind Claire. She's standing in the doorway, her cheeks bright red. "Didn't realize you were in a meeting. I'll just see you in class," she quickly rambles off before I can stop her.
Fuck. She actually came.
Silence lingers in the air, as I don't attempt to finish answering her question. "Well, I'll let you go." I stand up, encouraging her to do the same. "Class will be starting soon, and I should get ready."
I escort her out the door, and she surprises me by wrapping me in a tight hug. It's more intimate than a colleague-to-colleague hug, and now I'm cursing myself for not setting her in her place earlier.
"Bye, Morgan. See you later." She winks before walking down the hall, and I cringe.
I turn around and see Aspen glaring at me from down the hall.
Seriously? This would be my fucking luck.
She takes a step back as I step toward her. "Are you kidding me?" she hisses. "You sure get around, professor."
Her condescending tone fuels the rage inside of what she's accusing me of doing. "You don't know what you're talking about, Aspen."
"Oh, right. I'm the idiot who actually bought everything you said to me, all those lines you fed me, all those times I thought you were sincere and understanding-it was all bullshit." She seethes and my jaw ticks once again.
This couldn't be going any fucking worse. But then she continues.
"Then I find out you have some girl waiting for you at home the night of the gala." She takes a couple steps closer, hurt evident in her features as she narrows her eyes at me. "Also the exact same night you kissed me. So forgive me, Professor, but I know exactly what I'm talking about. You're a playboy who gets his kicks by flirting with your students-I can only imagine how many of them fell victim to your smooth ways back in Ohio-but let it be known, I'm no longer going to be that student." She takes another step. "I have standards, and I'm just glad I found out before it was too late."
"Are you done?" I ask with a smirk on my lips, crossing my arms over my chest. She's so wrong about me that I find it highly amusing.
"Yeah, in fact, I'm done with your class as well. I'll take the summer class with another professor who can keep his hands and lips off me," she snaps before turning on her heels and walking in the other direction.
I'm tempted to chase after her, grab her arm, and pin her up against the wall just to show her how wrong she is, but I can't risk a student or another professor walking by. Touching a student is strictly off-limits and getting fired for that kind of thing would prevent me from getting hired at other colleges.
I roughly brush a hand through my hair, frustrated that I have to just let her walk away. There are fifteen minutes before class starts, so I grab my stuff and head to the classroom, hoping to God she shows up anyway.
But when she doesn't, I know I've completely blown it.
Now I'm not sure I'll ever get the chance to explain why I bailed Saturday night. It was a spur of the moment decision, and I wish I would've stayed, but Jen had me in such a rage, I needed to get out of there.
Now she thinks I'm the asshole who kissed her and left without a word. Not only that, she thinks Natalia is a woman I'm dating that lives with me.
Fuck, this is such a mess.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ASPEN
I feel like I haven't slept in days and am now going crazy.
I've been pacing my apartment since before the sun rose, and I need some fucking coffee, but I broke all my damn coffee cups.
Clearly not my brightest move ever. But being rational isn't exactly on my radar right now.
I pound loudly on Kendall and Zoe's door Saturday morning, and I know they're both going to be pissed. "Let me in! I know you're home," I yell through the door like a maniac.
"Jesus Christ, Asp-"
I barge through before she can finish her sentence. "Give me something to break," I demand franticly.
She closes the door and faces me. "What?" she asks in a gravelly voice. "What are you talking about?" She brushes the hair out of her eyes.
"Something breakable. China. Glasses. Stupid figurines. Anything will do." I pace back and forth in her living room.
"All right, just hold on … " She drags her feet to the kitchen and returns with a glass plate. "Will this do?"
"Yeah, perfect," I say in a rush, grabbing it from her fingers. I raise it above my head and forcefully slam it down on the hardwood floor. The plate shatters into a million little pieces, the sound echoing off the walls with a loud bang.
"What the fuck is going on?" Zoe asks, walking in from her bedroom. She looks at the damage, wide-eyed and speechless.
"I'm breaking shit. Got anything?"
"Have you lost your mind?" She turns and studies me. "Are you okay? You aren't blinking. Have you slept?" She reaches out to feel my forehead.
I bat her hand away and scowl. "I'm fine!" I shout. "I just need to break stuff. Why is this a hard concept?"
"Well, for starters, you want to break our shit."
"I've broken everything possible in my apartment, which, unfortunately, wasn't much."
"Fine." Zoe exhales. "Only if you tell us what's going on."
"I can't … " I start to break down. "I-I don't know what the hell is happening to me. My mind and body and heart … I just-"
A tear slides down my cheek before I can wipe it away. "I've never seen you like this, Aspen," Kendall says softly, stepping closer to me.
"I know." I rub my eyes, clearing the tears away. "This is why I need to break something. I don't let guys in for a reason. I won't risk the heartache that comes with it. It's too much!"
"Ooh, heartbreak anger!" Zoe's eyes light up. "Well, why didn't you say so?" Her lips pull into a knowing grin. "I'll get the plates and Kendall you get the wine."
"It's seven o'clock in the morning!" she reminds her, but Zoe shoots her a look and directs her eyes to me. Kendall sighs and does it anyway.
I feel like bursting into tears right now, but I keep it under control. I have no idea why Morgan is affecting me this way. We'd hardly done anything at this point, but it feels like more than just the physical attraction. It's more than the kissing and how he sets my body on fire. It's the connection I feel when we're together. It's the mutual interest in art, the passion for creating pieces that mean something to us, the understanding of what art means to each other. The pain, the guilt, the inner struggle.