"Then what the hell's wrong?"
He sounded truly confused and she sagged in defeat. "I have to keep my apartment. It would crush my parents if they knew I was living with you. You just don't know my dad. He's so old-fashioned. Maybe I shouldn't care, but I do."
He studied her silently and then said the very thing she'd both been dreading and wanting to hear. "Then let's get married."
A small sob escaped her and tears started rolling down her cheeks. "No."
His body tensed. "Why not?" he asked, his thumbs wiping away the tracks of her tears.
"I don't want you to marry me because there's no other way, because you're forced into it."
"Lauren, nobody could force me to do anything that I don't want to do."
She didn't quite believe him and she felt her mouth wobble and her heart almost break in two. "I want you to want to marry me because you love me."
He stared at her blankly for a second or two and then a look came over his face as if he'd been struck by lightning.
He dropped his arms from where they gripped her around the waist and she slid down until her feet found purchase on the ground. With one hand held lightly on her hip, he tilted her chin up with the other. "You think I don't love you?" he asked her in a voice that sounded tortured.
Lauren swayed in his arms and couldn't form an answer. She didn't know what she thought anymore. She felt another tear slide down her cheek and abruptly, he grabbed her by the hand and turned and walked back inside the house.
He took her to the fourth bedroom, the smallest of the four, the bedroom that he'd made into his study. A large mahogany desk dominated the room, and a black leather chair sat behind it.
He led her to that chair now and pushed her down into it. All expression had left his face and Lauren scrubbed at her cheeks and pushed her hair behind her ears, trying to get a hold of herself. She had no idea what she was doing in here, but knowing Logan, she was sure she wouldn't have to wait too long before she found out.
And she was right.
He moved to his haunches as he squatted in front of her. Caging her in the chair with his hands on the black leather of the armrests, he studied her for only a second or two before he lifted a hand and picked up hers. He pressed their palms against each other, and then laced their fingers together for good measure. His eyes held hers with a brilliant fire.
"I love you, Lauren," he said so seriously that Lauren's heart almost stopped beating.
She stared at him. "Logan--"
He cut her off. "I love you, Lauren," he said again, more firmly.
Her pulse raced and a tear slid from the corner of her eye. "Logan--" her voice broke.
"I love you, baby," he said for the third time.
She swallowed and the tears she'd been holding back for weeks now came spilling down her cheeks. "I love you, too."
His hands came to her cheeks and wrapped around her face. His words were anguished as he spoke. "I don't know how I could have fucked up so badly. I have no clue how I could have been so selfish. In my defense--" His shoulders slumped. "I have no defense. I'm a dumb motherfucker who doesn't deserve you, I never have. But baby, I didn't realize until tonight that I hadn't ever said the words to you. When you told me the first time . . . and then every time you've said it . . . all I feel is a hot rush of joy and a profound need to hold on tight so you don't ever figure out how fucked up I am about you."
"Logan--"
He put his fingers to her lips. "I need to get this out."
"Okay," she mumbled against his hand.
"You just don't understand. I've been insane about you since the first moment I saw you. I don't know what I would have done if you'd refused me. Probably lived a miserable life knowing that I was missing out on the best thing in the world." He took a shuddering breath and his thumb ran over the back of her hand. "I've been so focused on getting you, and keeping you, and getting you to live with me, that I haven't been able to think straight. I love you beyond life itself, I love you more than I ever thought I'd be able to love anything, and I've been so scared that you'd figure out how insane I am about you that it would scare you into running away from me. I think about how much I love you at least seventeen times a day." He shook his head as if in a daze. "I can't believe I fucked up this bad."
Lauren closed her eyes and bit her lip as she let his words sink in. Logan loved her. She believed him. She really believed him. A sense of peace enveloped her. So it hadn't gone exactly the way she wanted, that was okay, she had what she'd always wanted, and that was him. Yeah, she hadn't wanted it to happen this way, but that was okay. Just so long as it had happened. She opened her eyes and studied his intent features. "I love you, too. It's okay, I'll give up the apartment--"
"No. Not until we get married." His eyes hardened that little bit the way she recognized so well and he said in a deep voice so that she couldn't misunderstand, "You'll keep living here but we'll keep the apartment until we get married."
"Logan . . . it's okay. We don't have to get married." She felt her face fall. "I don't want to rush you or force you into a situation you don't want."
He laughed, a hoarse sound filled with bitter humor. Not letting go of her hand, he stood to his feet and leaned away from Lauren. He slid open his middle desk drawer and pulled out a small jewelry box, the size that would contain a ring.
Lauren gasped and her heart took off like a freight train.
She watched as Logan went down on one knee. Her breath stalled and then took up such a quick cadence that she thought she might faint. She was only vaguely aware that she had started crying again.
"Lauren," he began, looking into her eyes. "I love you more than life itself. I've never wanted anything the way that I want you. I need you, as much as I need air to breathe." Lauren sat in stunned silence as he opened the box with one hand. She gasped when she saw the large, emerald-cut diamond and matching wedding band. "Will you marry me?"
She couldn't speak. She felt her face turn white then flood with color as realization sank in. She began nodding her head, quickly and emphatically.
His muscles relaxed and the tension seemed to leave his body. "Thank God," he muttered reverently. He finally let her hand loose, and as she held her trembling left hand out to him, he slid the diamond on her finger. He closed her palm around it, and leaned down and kissed her fingers and the ring, and then kissed her on the lips before enclosing her in his arms.
Lauren sighed and her world spun.
She'd just gotten everything she wanted.
Epilogue
Logan lifted the bottle away from his four-month old daughter after she spit the nipple from her mouth. She gurgled with sleepy laughter as he held her in his arms and her cherubic face caused his heart to tighten and splinter. "Precious. You're precious, aren't you?" he whispered.
He heard light steps enter the room and glanced up to find Lauren in the doorway, holding their son in her arms.
It had taken several years, but the fertility treatments had worked, and the twins were amazingly, adorably perfect.
Logan ran his eyes over Lauren. His wife was amazingly, adorably perfect. She hadn't changed, not a damn bit, in the ten years since he'd married her. Of course, she thought she had. The ten remaining pounds she'd put on with the twins, that she was so determined to lose, only added a few interesting curves to Logan's way of thinking.
He watched her now as she took a few light steps over to the matching cribs, and carefully laid their sleeping son down. She leaned down and kissed the tufted hair and then stood back up and swirled around and faced Logan once more.
Her hands fell on her hips and her eyes narrowed. "I'm thirty-five, Logan!" she wailed in a whisper.
He tried to stifle the laugh that erupted from his lips. "I know, baby, it's your birthday. Remember that circle of diamonds that I slipped on your finger this morning?" he asked, low in his throat. It was always a difficult task to get both babies down for a nap at the same time, but he was damned determined to accomplish that mission today. He wanted his wife to himself for a while, even if it could only be for five minutes.
At the reminder, Lauren lifted her hand and stared down at the ten-year anniversary ring that sat next to her wedding band, and she tilted it this way and that, making the diamonds sparkle. "I love it."
"Hmm," he grunted in quiet satisfaction, knowing that he'd accomplished his goal and surprised his wife with the gift, since technically, their tenth anniversary wouldn't be for some months yet. But why wait?
He'd gone over every damn gift in his head that he hadn't already given her and for the life of him, the anniversary ring was all he could come up with. It made for a great birthday present, but he knew he was only screwing himself later, because what in the hell could he get her for their anniversary?
Of course, it really didn't matter, he supposed, because she was always pleading with him to stop buying her stuff. But he didn't want to stop. He liked buying her stuff; it made him happy. He liked seeing the jewelry he picked out for her on her fingers, on her wrists, and wrapped around her neck. He liked seeing her naked in bed, except for the jewelry he'd given her. He liked her driving the car that he supplied, and he liked her decorating the house with the furnishings that his money had purchased.