Pursued(98)

“What’s ugly is the way you’re acting. All of you.” Saber gave Lissa’s tormentors a look of disgust. “You don’t know the pain Lissa has been through—the agony of losing her entire family at once—and you should pray to the Goddess you never do.”

Lissa was even more surprised. Her situation wasn’t discussed much at her new family’s home—her adopted mother considered it distasteful. But to hear Saber talk, he’d thought about it—thought about it a lot. Her eyes burned—obviously he pitied her, the same way he would pity an animal that had been wounded and caught in a trap. That was why he had come to her rescue. That was why he stared at her sometimes, when he thought she wasn’t looking.

Suddenly it was all too much for Lissa. She was tired of being despised for her difference and pitied for the horrible fate that had befallen her family. Tired of being so alone. And she missed her parents and little Dak and her old way of life terribly. She felt a sob rising in her throat and tried to choke it back down. She couldn’t break down in front of Chainee and Yancee and the rest—that would only prove to them how weak she was. But she couldn’t hold back the tears much longer.

Turning, she ran past Saber, ran away from the taunts and jeers and hatred. She heard ugly laughter from the others, and then Saber called her name, but she ignored him. In a way, his compassion was almost as bad as the cruelty of the others. It made her feel singled out…different…ugly. As ugly as her long blonde hair with its jade-green streaks.

Cut it off. I have to…cut it off,” she finished aloud, finally coming back to herself. Goddess, what was wrong with her? Why was she naked in the desert and having flashbacks of her miserable childhood? Lissa stared dully at the rainbow sands at her feet, trying to make sense of it all. Minverna, she remembered at last. She killed herself, but not before speaking truth to me. A truth I need to do penance for.

She thought again of her vision of Saber, standing so straight and tall before her. Thought of his broad shoulders and thick, dark hair which was short, but always a little messy from his habit of running his fingers through it. His hands, so large and capable and yet so gentle, too. He wasn’t cruel like the others. He defended her, protected her…

“Moch Daer,” she whispered brokenly. “Oh, how I miss you.”

But there was no use wishing for the past. Squaring her shoulders, Lissa set herself once more to the task of finding the oasis in the middle of the desert. Only there could she cleanse herself of her shameful lusts and fantasies. Only there could she cut her hair and show her true penance for the sins Minverna had pointed out before she died.

Help me make it, Goddess, she thought as she trudged on wearily. It’s so hot and I’m so tired and thirsty. Please help me find it soon…before it’s too late.





Chapter Twenty-three




“So this is the Deep Blue.” Elise broke the long silence between them at last. “It’s…amazing.”

Merrick tried to look at the scene through her eyes and truly, it was. It looked as though someone had drawn a line down the middle of the foliage. A clear demarcation where the dusty, blue-gray jungle suddenly ended and another, deeper, wilder place began. The plants of the Deep Blue were an indigo so pure it almost hurt the eyes to look at it them. Here and there were splashes of deep green or vivid orange or bright yellow—like colored jewels on a blue velvet background—but for the most part it was solid, uninterrupted blue.

“It’s gorgeous,” Elise murmured, sounding awed.

Merrick grunted. “Yeah, and fucking dangerous.” He put down his pack and crouched by the side of the small purple stream they’d been following. Conveniently, it stuck pretty close to the scent trail. “This is where we camp for the night,” he decided. There was no way he was going into the Deep Blue just as the sun was setting. Dusk was the time when the Ancient Ones were most active—far better to start fresh in the morning and hope to get in and out without a problem.

“All right.” Elise looked stiff. Her muscles were probably aching from the long hike, not to mention the strenuous exercise of helping kill the xenox. Merrick was sure she was ready for a rest. She cast him a sidelong glance, maybe wondering if he was still mad at her, but didn’t say anything else.

Merrick showed no signs that he knew she was watching him. He was taking things out of his backpack, getting ready to settle for the night. He heard Elise sigh and then she peeled off her soft blue leather boots and put her feet in the stream. The water fizzed slightly around her bare feet and she smiled, as though enjoying the ticklish sensation.