Elise bit her lip. “I feel like I do, but it might just be the bond between us. It’s artificial and not placed correctly. It gives us false feelings for each other, so…” She trailed off as Shuura shook his head.
“Tell me something—what does your heart tell you? Are your feelings for Merrick false?”
“I don’t know,” she said miserably. “I don’t think so, but it’s hard to be sure. I’ve never felt so strongly for anyone in my life—not even my fiancé, and I’m supposed to marry him in less than a month.”
“I see.” Shuura nodded. “And how do you think Merrick feels for you?”
“I think he cares…maybe he even loves me,” Elise whispered, looking down at her leaf-napkin which she was twisting nervously in her lap. “But I can’t…can’t risk getting too close.”
“Why not?” Shuura raised an eyebrow at her curiously.
“Well…because. I mean, what if once this bond is severed we don’t feel anything for each other anymore? And…and what about my commitment to my fiancé—to James?”
He frowned at her, his golden eyes searching her face. “And these are the only reasons you hesitate to give Merrick your heart?”
Somehow Elise couldn’t look into those golden eyes and lie, so she looked down at her napkin again instead. “Of…of course. I promised to marry James and I need to honor that promise.”
“Honoring such a sacred commitment is very important,” Shuura acknowledged gravely. “The only thing more important is honoring your heart. If you go against it, you’ll be unhappy all your days. And so will Merrick.”
“I know that.” Elise was feeling more and more miserable. “It’s been a long day. Do you mind if I excuse myself to go take a shower? Uh, if you have showers here on Rageron, that is.”
“Certainly.” Shuura nodded. “But I wish you’d think about what I said. Merrick is a hybrid, which means he will probably be unable to form a natural bond with any other female. Maybe the Goddess sent you to him and bound you together in the only way possible so he wouldn’t live out his days alone. Maybe she also intended him for you, and this fiancé of yours, this James, is not the right male for you at all.”
“I guess maybe…” Elise was uncomfortable discussing matters of religion. She had been raised nondenominational but it was clear that the Kindred took their Goddess very seriously.
“Does he—this James—value you as Merrick does? Would he risk his life to give you what you need? Because that will be the case when you and Merrick enter the Deep Blue tomorrow—especially if you meet the Ancient Ones.”
“The Ancient Ones? Who are they?” Elise asked nervously.
“A race of beings which make even the First Kindred look young. They have been on Rageron since the dawn of time and in all those many millennia, they have changed very little. They hold the skrillix to be sacred and guard it jealously.”
“Will they let us have some, do you think? Or will they try to hurt us?” Elise asked. Was this quest she and Merrick were on a suicide mission?
“They don’t usually kill intruders, but they may test you in some way—both of you.”
“What kind of test?” Elise demanded. For some reason the grueling bar exam she’d passed to become an attorney came to mind, but she was pretty sure the Ancient Ones weren’t going to sit Merrick and herself down and grill them on tort reform.
Shuura shook his head mysteriously. “It differs according to what they see in you.” He shrugged. “Then again, you may have the good fortune to find an untended skrillix vine growing outside the Ancient Ones’ perimeter and be able to come home at once.”
Elise shivered. “I certainly hope so!”
Shuura nodded. “If the Goddess wills it, it shall be so.”
“Um…” Elise cleared her throat. “I don’t want to offend you, but I’ve never been a very religious person. I’m not sure I believe in the Goddess.”
“That’s perfectly all right.” Shuura smiled. “She believes in you, my dear. And I firmly believe she has her hand in this present situation. You’ll see.”
“I’m sure I will,” Elise said, trying to smile. “I really would like a shower,” she added, hoping to end the awkward conversation.
“Of course. Forgive me.” Shuura nodded and, to her great relief, dropped the subject.
He showed Elise to a bathroom almost as big as the living area with a miniature waterfall running down one wall. He explained that the water came from the river outside and flowed back into it as well, so nothing but natural plant extracts could be used as soap and shampoo. These could be found in thin stone and glass vessels that looked like minor works of art to Elise. Comparing them with her own plastic shampoo bottles at home, she thought that the Rageron way was better.