Pursued(78)

It actually was delicious, though mostly blue in color, and she and Shuura were the only ones at the table. The plates and bowls were all made of large, thick leaves and there were no utensils—everything was eaten with their fingers. Luckily there was another kind of leaf, which acted as a napkin. Before they started eating, Shuura demonstrated how to wipe each finger clean between courses and then fold the leaf-napkin down so that a fresh, clean area was available for the next time. Then the meal began.

There were pink noodles in a salty, pale blue broth and succulent dark blue meat, which Shuura told her was from the same kind of animal whose head hung on the wall—a xenox, he called it. It was a ferocious carnivore, but its meat was sweet because it fed on the tiny billibs who mainly ate sugar blossoms. There was a side dish of blue and purple roots, which tasted like a cross between a carrot and an onion, and to wash it down, a fizzy purple drink that was tart and sweet at the same time. Shuura assured her it wasn’t alcoholic, which was probably for the best. Elise had the feeling that if she was even slightly drunk, her inhibitions would desert her, leaving her entirely too emotionally vulnerable when it came to Merrick.

For dessert they had a long, narrow squash the length of Elise’s leg. Shuura sliced it open, revealing a surprisingly tender pale green flesh inside, which tasted exactly like apricots dipped in rich dark chocolate.

Elise ate until she couldn’t hold anymore, trying to satiate the growing hunger inside her. It had been awhile since she and Merrick had last touched, and despite her assertion otherwise, her body was beginning to miss him. She wished miserably that they were still on good terms, that she could go to him and admit her need so they could cuddle naked on the bed together, as they’d done the night before.

If we did that, it would turn sexual—I know it would, she told herself. And I can’t have that…can’t risk it. But she had another reason for not going to him. Even if she hadn’t had the integrity of her inner vault to consider, she couldn’t bear to think of using Merrick like that. Of using him to satisfy her own needs and then withdrawing again without giving of herself. I may be a horrible, ungrateful bitch but I won’t turn into a user too. I won’t do that, no matter how much I need him. No, she would just have to grin and bear it and maybe tonight he would hold her hand for a while—that would help some, she was certain.

“…your meal,” Shuura said and Elise realized she’d missed his words.

“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to smile politely. “I…my mind was wandering. What did you say?”

“I said I hope you enjoyed your meal,” Shuura repeated.

Elise nodded eagerly. “Oh! Oh, yes, very much. Thank you—it was delicious. Especially dessert.”

He nodded gravely. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Although I fear your mind was far away most of the time.”

Elise felt her cheeks getting warm with an embarrassed blush. “Was it that obvious? I’m so sorry—I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“It’s all right, my dear. I can guess what you were thinking of—or should I say, who you were thinking of.” Shuura patted her hand gently. “Merrick.”

“Yes, I was thinking of him,” Elise admitted. “Tell me about him—what was he like as a child?”

Shuura sighed. “As a very young child when his father—my brother—was alive, he was happy, contented—as mischievous a little brat as you could ever hope to meet.” He laughed. “You should hear some of the pranks he pulled. Ask Tongs to tell you about the time…” He shook his head. “But never mind, those days are long gone.”

“But Merrick told me he came here again, after he left the other Kindred world, Tranq Prime,” Elise said, probing for more information. “And the way he talked to me about Tranq Prime—it sounds like he was really unhappy there.”

“Yes.” Shuura took another sip of his fizzy purple drink, which was called foo, if Elise remembered correctly. “He ran from Tranq Prime for a reason. And he can never go back.”

“I don’t understand—is he banned or something?”

“In a manner of speaking.” Shuura shook his head. “I cannot tell you the whole story because I don’t know it. And even if I did, it is Merrick’s tale to tell, not mine.”

“I understand.” Elise took a sip of foo and felt the tiny bubbles run up her nose, as if she was drinking champagne. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“It’s all right. You care for Merrick very much, do you not?”