Pursued(33)

“Is the taboo really that strong?” Nadiah asked, frowning. “I mean, I know you were living in the same family but you were both older than children when you met and as you said, he was protective and kind to you at a time when you had just suffered a great loss. It’s not so surprising that you should come to love him.”

“Yes, it is,” Lissa said grimly. “Do you have any brothers—true brothers—my Lady?”

Nadiah shook her head. “The closest I have is Sylvan—he’s my older cousin.”

“And what if you were to fall in love with him?” Lissa asked in a quiet voice. “So much so that you wished to be joined to him, to receive the Deep Touch from him and bear his children?”

“Eww!” Nadiah wrinkled her nose involuntarily. “I mean, please don’t misunderstand me, I love Sylvan very much but not that way.”

Lissa nodded. “Your instinctive reaction is right and proper—and would be considered so by my people as well. Now take that reaction—that feeling of instinctive revulsion you felt at the idea of joining with your cousin—and multiply it by ten. That is the emotion we of the Touch Kindred have been taught to feel about the idea of mating with one of our own clan. Add to that the fact that the male I wanted was of the same household—in name and deed my actual older brother—and you can multiply it by a hundred, maybe even a thousand. There is no word strong enough for the wrongness Saber and I committed together.”

“Oh my,” Nadiah breathed, finally understanding. “You’d be social pariahs—outcasts if anyone found out.”

“And someone did,” Lissa said grimly. “Saber begged for the chance to prove his love, to prove to me that we belonged together. And I…I agreed. And so it was that my adopted mother came upon us in the woods when Saber was Touching me.”

“Touching you?” Nadiah frowned. “How? Was he stroking your cheek or were you kissing or…or doing something else?”

Lissa recoiled as though Nadiah had struck her. “He wasn’t touching me physically with his hands or mouth!” She sounded shocked and horrified. “Though we had admitted our love, even then we were not so shameless as to physically touch each other. Not that way, anyway. Not…not sexually,” she ended in a low, embarrassed voice.

“What way then?” Nadiah asked, mystified.

“With his mind of course,” Lissa said, as though it was the most natural thing in the world. “You see, when people of the same clan Touch each other intimately with their minds it feels wrong. The same way physically kissing or touching one of your close male relatives romantically would feel wrong to you.” She sighed. “Saber wanted to prove to me that it wouldn’t feel wrong between us. That his mental Touch on my body would give me pleasure, not revulsion.”

“How did it feel?” Nadiah asked, completely caught up in the story now. “Did it feel wrong? Or right?”

Lissa frowned. “It felt…forbidden. Like it was something we ought not to do. But so…so pleasurable, I can scarcely describe it.” She shivered as though reliving some exotic sensation. “I can still feel his whisper-fingers sliding through my hair—I was the only Kindred female in our clan and everyone else made fun of it, you know. They said my green stripes made me look like a tseeba—an ugly little animal with stripes down its back. But Saber, he told me not to pay any attention to them. He thought my hair was beautiful.”

“So your adopted mother caught him touching your hair with his mind?” To Nadiah, it still sounded extremely innocent.

Lissa blushed a dull red. “He…he kissed me too. Not with his mouth, of course. But his whisper-lips were so soft, so gentle…”

“How did your adopted mother even know what was happening?” Nadiah asked. “I mean, if you were both just standing there, not even physically in contact…”

“You can tell when two of my people are Touching each other,” Lissa said grimly. “The Touch Field around them extends quite far. It…it excites anyone in the immediate vicinity.”

“Like a mental aphrodisiac.” Nadiah shook her head. “Amazing.”

“And very telling,” Lissa said sadly. “So you see, there was no way to disguise what we were doing even though we were standing three feet apart at least.”

“What did she do?” Nadiah asked, although she already had an idea.

“She was livid, of course.” Lissa cringed with what was obviously a very painful memory. “She said I had corrupted her son, that he never would have done such a thing if I hadn’t tempted him. Saber tried to defend me but she said his protectiveness was just another symptom of the spell I had cast on him. She…” Lissa swallowed hard, as though forcing herself to continue. “She said I might as well spit on my parents’ graves—that the dishonor I had done them was so great it was unforgivable.”