“So you fell in love with a male within your own clan with the same marking,” Nadiah said, trying to understand. “But you still aren’t related by blood, are you?”
“No. But what I did was more shameful than even that,” Lissa murmured. “I…I broke a sacred trust. You see, my parents—my true parents—were traders to the stars. So even though they were members of the Sun Clan, we didn’t often see the others in our clan because we were always off trading. Then when I was twelve cycles old, our ship was taken by pirates. A passing Kindred freighter responded to the distress signal my father managed to set off but by the time they came it was too late, my parents and little brother had all been killed.”
She spoke calmly enough, relating the terrible tale, but Nadiah thought she could still see the hurt and terror that twelve year old girl must have felt, watching her parents and brother being butchered in front of her. “Oh, Lissa,” she murmured, pressing the other girl’s hand gently.
“It was a long time ago.” Lissa sighed. “Though dreams of it still haunt me sometimes.”
“What happened to you?” Nadiah asked. “Were you adopted by another family in your clan?”
Lissa nodded. “Indeed—by none other than the Over Chief’s family. The chief of the Sun Clan is also the head of all the Touch Kindred,” she explained. “It was a great and unexpected honor but the Over Chief had been very close to my mother when they were children growing up together.”
“So…but if your real mother was of the Sun Clan, your real father…”
“Was of the Moon Clan. But we take whatever is the highest standing when we are joined,” Lissa explained. “So if a woman of a higher clan takes a male of a lower clan as her mate, he moves to her home clan, not the other way around.”
“I see—it’s different on Tranq Prime, but that makes sense.” Nadiah nodded. “Go on.”
“The Over Chief had a son.” Lissa looked down at the tabletop, tracing one slender finger in a complicated design on the smooth wooden surface. “A son about four years older than me named Saber. It means ‘Bright Blade of the Sun.’ He had more Touch ability than any male born in generations.”
“But I thought your people—the Touch Kindred—were trying to breed out the uh, Touch ability,” Nadiah said.
“That is what they tell the Kindred Council,” Lissa said. “The truth is, they aren’t seeking to breed out the ability but to breed control into those who have it. Saber had that control. He wasn’t reckless and wild and cruel like so many of the Touch males are. He…he was protective and kind and understanding. Everything a big brother should be. But it wasn’t as a brother that I felt for him. I…” Her voice broke and she shook her head, obviously unable to go on.
“You fell in love with him, didn’t you?” Nadiah said gently.
“Y-yes,” Lissa whispered and when she looked up, tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. “Even though we were of the same clan—of the same household—I still allowed myself to feel for him. You see, he really was raised as my older brother from the time I was twelve and he was sixteen. We were kin in every way that mattered.”
“Except by blood,” Nadiah pointed out.
Lissa swiped at her eyes. “Blood ties are nothing compared to the sacred trust of adoption. By allowing myself to feel for Saber, I dishonored the memory of my parents and spit on the kindness the Over Chief and his wife, my adopted mother, had showed me. I knew these things as I was falling in love with Saber and yet, somehow I could not stop myself…”
“I bet it wasn’t a one way street,” Nadiah said. “I’m guessing he felt the same way about you.”
“He did.” Lissa nodded. “Though he waited until I was eighteen cycles old and of age to admit it to me. He said…” She laughed brokenly. “He said he wanted our joining to be legal in at least one way even if it was completely taboo in every other way.”
“So you were going to run away together?” Nadiah lifted her eyebrows. “That’s very brave. I ran away from Y’dex too, you know. My parents wanted me to marry him but I just couldn’t—he was everything I loathed about Tranq Prime all rolled up in one nasty package.” She shivered, remembering Y’dex’s bulging blue eyes and the horrible way he’d treated her.
“Then you were much more courageous than I was,” Lissa said in a low voice. “When Saber declared his love to me, I was indecisive—fearful of the consequences and ashamed—deeply ashamed both of my own feelings and the feelings I had somehow inspired in him.”