Pursued(154)
“Hey, can’t sleep?” Olivia poked her head in the door of her room and gave Elise a worried look. Elise had been put in the med center when she returned to the Mother Ship and three days later, she was still here for “observation.” Which was a nice way of saying suicide watch, she was pretty sure.
“Not very well,” she admitted but she didn’t say why. She never told anyone about the dreams—she didn’t want to make them more worried about her than they already were.
“Want me to give you a sedative?” Liv asked.
“No, thanks.” Elise ran a shaky hand through her hair and looked at the bedside clock. “It’s almost time to get up, anyway.”
“Yeah, I know. Some people are already up and around.” Olivia came to sit on the side of her bed. “If you know what I mean.”
Elise groaned. “Did he call again?”
“I’m afraid so.” Olivia shook her head sympathetically. “He was on the viewscreen early this morning, demanding that I go get you to talk.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I told him you’d been sedated and I couldn’t disturb you, but I’m afraid I can’t put your fiancé off much longer, Elise. He’s threatening to come up here and get you if you won’t at least talk to him.”
“Crap.” Elise put her face in her hands. She didn’t want to deal with James right now, but it was becoming clear that sooner or later, she was going to have to come out of her shell of isolation and do exactly that.
“I know you’re miserable over Merrick, hon.” Olivia rubbed her back soothingly. “And I totally don’t blame you—once you let a Kindred into your heart, every other man in the universe just pales by comparison. But—and please don’t think I’m siding with the enemy here—”
“But James is my fiancé, the wedding is this week and I still haven’t told him it’s off,” Elise finished for her dully. “I know, Olivia. I know I’m wrong to keep him hanging on so long. It’s just…I feel like if I go back to Earth and go back to my normal life, it’ll be like admitting to myself that Merrick is really g-gone. G-gone for…for g-good.” The tears started again and she blotted them hastily on a corner of the sheet. “S-sorry. I don’t mean to be so emotional.”
“Don’t apologize.” Liv gave her a hug. “What you’ve been through—what you’re going through—you deserve to cry all you want. You won’t get any arguments from me about that.”
Elise hugged her back tightly. “You know, you’re hands down the best and nicest nurse I’ve ever had.”
“I want to be more than your nurse.” Liv pulled back and looked at her seriously. “I want to be your friend. Listen, Elise, I know it might sound crazy to you right now, but I think you should consider coming up to live on the Mother Ship.”
“Live here?” Elise frowned. “I was going to live with Merrick—or he was going to live down on Earth with me. We hadn’t really decided but now, well, I don’t know. My career…”
“You can practice up here,” Liv hastened to assure her. “The Kindred mostly go through mediation to settle their problems but you could train as a mediator. I mean, if I can get the hang of Kindred medicine, I know you could get the hang of Kindred law.”
“I don’t know…” Elise said doubtfully. “I mean…why?”
“Because you need something you don’t have on Earth—a support system. I know you don’t talk to your family and I’m guessing you don’t have a lot of close friends either.”
Elise frowned. “What makes you say that?”
“Because, well…no one came forward and reported you missing when the AllFather snatched you.” Olivia patted her hand. “Please don’t be mad, I’m just saying if you were on the Mother Ship, we could all be here for you. Sophie and Kat and Lauren and I—we all want to stand beside you during this difficult time.”
Elise sighed. “I’m not mad. And you’re right—I don’t have any close friends. I tend to keep people at a distance because of, well, because of some things that happened in my past.” She blotted her eyes again. “In fact, Merrick is—was—the first person to get through that…that barrier I’d put up around myself. He made me feel again, forced me to think about things I didn’t want to think about. He…” She shook her head and Olivia rubbed her back some more.
“It’s okay. Get it out if you need to.”