“I shouldn’t have either,” Lissa burst out. “I never should have allowed myself to have those kinds of…of feelings for a male of my tribe and family. It was I who entered into the shame and wrongful doing.”
“If you entered then I was the one who led you there,” Saber said in a low voice. “For that I must beg your forgiveness. It’s my fault you were sent away from home and exiled here.”
“Oh…it’s not so bad,” Lissa said, trying to make her voice light and easy. “The life of a priestess may not be what I would have chosen for myself, but I’ve settled in well. And now that the Councilor and his bride, the lady Nadiah are here, it’s quite enjoyable.”
“I think it’s wonderful that you’ve risen so high. To be the High Priestess of the Seat of Wisdom—Mame’ and Pape’ will be so proud when I tell them, I’m certain.”
Lissa nodded. I’m certain they still hate me as much as ever. Especially your mother who separated us in the first place. But she couldn’t speak the words aloud. They were too rude, too personal. “Thank you,” she said faintly.
“You’re very welcome. Well…” Saber rose from his seat by her bed. “I can see you’re still tired so perhaps I should leave you in peace.”
“Wait!” Lissa exclaimed, before she could stop herself. “Wait, Saber, please…”
“What is it?” He turned back to her, his hazel eyes filled with some emotion she couldn’t read.
“I…I…” Lissa’s courage almost deserted her but she forced herself to go on. “Forgive me,” she said, “But I told you how often I have dreamed of you only to wake and find myself alone. Would you…could I…” She sighed in frustration. “I know it is wrong, but could I touch your hand—just once—to be certain you’re real? To know that I am not dreaming this time?”
She half expected Saber to recoil from her in disgust. Such a request wasn’t only wrong—it was morally abhorrent. For an unmated female to seek the physical touch of a male who was not her husband—and one who was related to her by clan and family—was anathema. And yet, she couldn’t help herself…couldn’t help what she wanted.
For a long moment Saber hesitated. Then he dropped to his knees beside her bed and held out his hands to her. “Of course you may touch me, amalla,” he said, his deep voice hoarse with emotion.
“Oh, Saber…” The use of the old, sweet nickname sent a rush of longing through her. Lissa grasped his hands in hers and watched as he entwined their fingers. His touch was warm and real and solid and at last she knew the truth. “Moch Daer,” she whispered. “You’re real this time. Really and truly real.”
“And you’re real too,” he murmured. “I dreamed of you too, Lissa. So many times I thought—”
A sharp rapping at the wooden door of Lissa’s bedchamber interrupted him and then the door was flung wide. “Captain Saber, excuse me, but I—”
The male, who must be one of Saber’s crew, stopped short, his dark brown eyes drawn to their hands.
“Oh!” Lissa gasped and pulled her hands away. Quickly she hid them, trembling, beneath her white coverlet.
“Forgive me,” the crew-member said shortly. “I did not mean to interrupt…anything.”
“Nor did you,” Saber said heartily. “I was simply proving to Lissa here that I truly am real and not a figment of her imagination.” He lowered his voice. “She saw many mirages out in the desert which upset her greatly.”
“Oh.” The male nodded slowly. “Oh, I see.” His face, which had been etched with surprise and disgust, slowly cleared. “Well then, in that case,I guess—”
“What is it you wished to tell me, Mikrow?” Saber asked, standing and casually brushing off his knees.
The male cleared his throat. “It’s the secondary drive core again, Captain. It seems to be overheating, even when we’re just running diagnostics. Nobody else can figure it out and you seem to have such a way with it I thought—”
“Of course, of course.” Saber nodded and gestured for the male to leave the room. “My little sister is doing well, so I’ll come with you at once.”
“Thank you, Captain.” The crew-member left Lissa’s chamber with Saber right behind him. Before he closed the door, Saber gave her one last, long look. Then he left, without saying another word.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Merrick was Goddess-damned sick and tired of the purification rituals which seemed to entail sitting in a tub filled with the milk of the sacred tsslla snake and eating the worst tasting food the Ancient Ones could find.