Pursued(121)

“I don’t think so.” Nadiah pushed her back gently but firmly. “You need more time to recover. So why don’t you just stay here and catch up with your, er, your…brother.” She frowned, looking vexed, as though she wished she could have put it differently, but really, there was no other name that fit Saber’s relationship to Lissa.

Lissa bowed her head again. “Very well, my lady.”

“I’ll come back and check on you later.” Nadiah patted her knee, swathed beneath a light coverlet. “Have fun, you two.” And then she was gone, swishing out of Lissa’s small bedchamber with a swirl of white robes.

Lissa couldn’t look down for long. She found that her eyes kept returning to Saber’s face. To his deep hazel eyes with their flecks of green and gold, his tousled brown hair that always looked as though he’d been running both hands through it.

He’d been watching Nadiah walk away but now those gorgeous eyes of his flicked back and caught Lissa staring. “You keep looking at me, Lissa,” he murmured. “Are you that upset to see me?”

“Oh no, of course not!” she protested. “It’s just…I’ve dreamed about you so many times, I can’t believe you’re real. I keep asking myself if you’re not just another dream.”

“I asked myself the same question about you when I found you in the desert,” he admitted in a low voice. “We weren’t going to stop at that oasis, you know, but my secondary drive core was overheating—the guidance system indicated it as the closest source of water. My first mate wanted to push on and try to make the area around the holy mountain but I said no. I felt…I don’t know why I felt we had to stop. But when I saw you lying there in the sand, I knew.” He shook his head. “What were you doing out in the desert alone and so…so unprotected?”

In a flash, Lissa remembered how he’d found her—Naked, I was completely naked! Oh my Goddess, the shame… “Forgive me,” she said miserably, her cheeks growing hot. “I…I was showing respect at the passing of the last high priestess. I did not intend for anyone to see me.” She looked up at him timidly. “Did the rest of your…your crew…?”

“I took off my shirt and covered you at once.” Saber’s cheeks were a dull red. “I could not let them another male see my little sister so.” He frowned at Lissa. “But as for honoring the old priestess…that isn’t what you told me when I found you. You said something about searching for forgiveness…redemption. What did you mean?”

“I…I…” Lissa’s heart pounded in her chest. She couldn’t let him know that she still had feelings for him. Couldn’t let him know that her own forbidden love for him was what had really driven her naked into the desert. It was too shameful. Too wrong. “I don’t know what I said,” she answered at last. “I…I must have been delirious.”

Saber stared piercingly at her face for an instant and she felt that he must be able to read the lie in her eyes. But at last he nodded and looked away. “I see.”

You don’t see anything, Lissa thought miserably. You don’t know that I still love you even though I must not. You don’t know the evil rooted in my heart, which now flourishes again at the mere sight of you. She sighed. It was useless to love him anyway. Doubtless he was joined to some other girl by now. He might even have taken his father’s place as Over Chief.

“So,” she said, struggling to make her voice sound normal. “An ambassador to the Councilor—your parents and bride must be so proud.”

“I have no bride. No female to call my own.” Saber looked away, his eyes dark. “My mother and father tried to force me to take one after…after you left, but I refused every female they threw at me. I think…” He cleared his throat. “Think they’ve finally accepted the fact that I’m not interested.”

Lissa’s heart leapt in her chest but she tried to keep her face calm. “I see. But…can you be Over Chief with no female by your side?”

Saber sighed. “There’s no law against it, though Pape’ says the people of the clans trust and respect a chief with a bride and a family more.” He looked up at Lissa. “I told him I didn’t want those things. That I would follow in his footsteps only if he stopped pressuring me to take a bride I didn’t love.”

“Oh…” Lissa didn’t know what to say. “Oh, Saber, I—”

“Don’t worry,” he interrupted, his voice going suddenly harsh. “I’m not here to repeat the mistake I made three cycles ago. I know you want nothing to do with me, Lissa. And I know…” He coughed and looked down at his hands. “Know that what we wanted, what we tried to do, was wrong. I…you’re my sister. I should never—”