Doctor Walker has become a good friend to me. There isn’t a week that goes by that I don’t hear from him. Sometimes I still go in for sessions or he calls me to see how I’m doing. I trust him as much as I trusted Kai and that was not something that came easy for me. I call him as I enter the cab because I need him to tell me everything is going to be fine. I’m worried about seeing Kai. Will he even care about me anymore? Would he even recognize me?
“Kristy, you are a strong woman, please remember that. Look at all you’ve accomplished. Don’t worry about him. If you see him, I believe it will help you. You need to either lay it to rest with him or try to move on.” I nod my head and then realize he can’t see me, so I tell him my goodbyes and hang up.
I get increasingly nervous once I’m on the plane. I try to think of something calming and Kai jumps into my head. He came for me once, three months after I was gone. I remember the nurse telling me I had a visitor. I didn’t know anyone and I didn’t tell anyone where I was, so I knew it was him. Only he could track me down like that, only he had the resources to do it.
I requested to not see him, which broke my heart just a little, but that month was a bad time because that’s when the memories started surfacing. I gave the doctor my cell when I was admitted and asked him not give it back to me. That night, as I laid in my single bed, my mind filled full of evil. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted him to tell me he should wait for me no matter how long it took, but I couldn’t do that to him. It would have been selfish.
I watch the lights of New York pass me by and silently tell myself I will be back. I’m hoping to come back, but sometimes things in life change, sometimes for the better.
Studies show that brain waves are more active while dreaming than when you are awake.
I rang Julia yesterday when I arrived, but I haven’t seen her yet. She pleaded with me to stay with her, but I like my space, so I booked a hotel near the college I used to attend. It's so surreal seeing everything after years of being away and it brings back the old, as well as good memories. Julia is having dinner tonight and a few people are invited, one of them is my old roommate, Leanne. She and Julia became friends after I left and they both graduated college at the same time. I personally haven’t spoken to Leanne since that awful night so long ago. I hope it isn’t awkward when I do see her, though.
I start to get ready for the night and I slip into a red mini dress, which comes up midway on my thighs. My hair is straightened and stops above my shoulders, with the front being longer than back. I apply my makeup with red lipstick and thicken up my eyelashes. I complete the outfit with a pair of black heels. I take one look in the mirror before I leave the hotel and I’m pleased with what I see. My body is not skinny anymore. I have curves in all the right places and an ass now. I know most people strive to be skinny, but I was at an unhealthy weight before. Now, I have energy and feel full of life.
The restaurant we are going to is also the same club that Julia and I used to frequent. It’s the one where Jimmy worked as a bouncer. It’s kind of cute for them to have a special moment where they first met. It’s also across from my hotel, so I don’t have to worry about walking far.
As I step in through the front doors, I look around for Julia’s blonde hair. The place is actually quite beautiful when there aren’t hundreds of people gathering around. There are fairy lights lighting the roof space and white flowers on every table. I hear a scream to my right and turn to see Julia greeting someone very familiar. I walk in her direction and stop just before the two blonde women. Julia sees me first and looks me over, like she can’t believe what she’s seeing. I smile at the other woman and that’s when I recognize who she is, Leanne. She looks different from a few years ago. Her hair is touching down past her bra straps, compared to her short hair in school. She looks happy and she smiles at me.
“Hot damn, what on earth did you do with my best friend?” Julia asks, touching the front of my dress and practically feeling me up in public.
“Jules, stop molesting her in public, please. It’s embarrassing,” Leanne chimes in. Julia shushes her and turns back to me. That’s when I see the massive diamond taking over her left hand. She sees me staring and puts it in my face.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? He did it today in bed, he was so sweet,” she says lost in thought. I start to reply when a hand wraps around Leanne’s waist and she sinks back into him. I watch as her face changes from looking at Julia to lust in her eyes. I move my eyes further and even though I know those hands, they still haunt me.