“Yes, I’ll find a way out there and come as soon as possible,” I say, feeling defeated. It’s not that I don’t care for her; I do. It’s just that I don’t know how you are meant to love someone when they don’t show you love in return.
I quickly pack a bag full of clothes and make my way down the stairs. As I exit my building, Kai is standing next to his truck, looking at me. He makes me nervous when I’m around him. I feel like I have to feign elation to make him happy, because being myself is not acceptable. I take a step in his direction and I suddenly remember he has demanded my presence tonight. I stand tall once I reach him and look into his dark eyes, trying my hardest not to let my eyes wander all over him.
“I’m glad you listened,” he says, brushing a strand of hair from my face.
“I didn’t, I actually forgot. Sorry, I have a family emergency.” I start to walk away and I hear his steps following me.
“What’s the emergency?” he asks, directly behind me. He steps in front of me, invading my personal space and forcing me to stop.
“It’s my grandmother. Sorry, but I have to go.” I try to sidestep him, but he won’t let me pass.
“How are you getting there? You don’t have a car.”
“I’ll catch a bus. Now, please get out of my way before I miss it.”
He smiles at me like he’s proud that I spoke my mind. I, however, am not.
“I will drive you.” He grabs my bag from my hand and starts walking toward his car, leaving me standing there watching him. He stops once he’s at the passenger door and opens it, throwing the bag in and turning around to face me.
“Hurry up, Nani.”
Shit, I was planning to research that word today and I completely forgot. I really need to know what it means.
“It’s not down the road, Kai. It’s a two-hour drive just to get to her house,” I say, emphasizing the two hours.
“Well, you better start moving your ass then. We don’t want to take all day.” He gestures for me to get in, waving his hand in front of an already open door. I don’t want him to come. I don’t want him to know any more about my life than he already does. Some things I’d like to keep private.
He keeps the conversation light on the drive, asking basic questions.
Am I close to my Grandmother? – No.
Did I like living with her? – I hated it.
I don’t give him much. I don’t tell him how she drank herself silly every day or how she constantly told me she couldn’t wait to get rid of me. I needed to go far away from everything that was home and never look back. Rejection is not fun when it’s coming from your only family member.
“I’m getting the idea that you don’t really want to go home?” Kai’s voice softens and he turns his body slightly while driving. I continue to look out the window, noticing all the familiar surroundings as we get closer.
“It’s not a matter of want; it’s a matter of having to.”
“I don’t believe you. I think there’s a part of you that wants to.”
I turn to face him now; he’s watching the road and me. “Don’t tell me what I want or what I know. You don’t know me, so stop assuming and shut up.” I point him with a glare and he smirks at me.
“I like it when you talk harshly. It makes my cock hard, Nani.”
Oh yuck, but oh yum.
He has my eyes going directly to his groin. I can see the bulge coming from his pants and it has me wondering what it looks like hard.
“If you want to look, all you have to do is ask. I’m here to please you, Nani, in any way possible,” he adds with a wink. His hand goes to his pants and he starts to undo the button.
“Stop! Don’t! I don’t want to see it now or ever,” I reply, covering my eyes.
“Don’t tell yourself lies. I can see the lust in your eyes. You want it as badly as I do. I’m just man enough to admit it. Oh, by the way, Nani, when I do have you, you’re going to be smothered by me, soaking me all up. And you’re not going to say ‘no,’ because I know you will like it. Correction… you will fucking love it.”
“God, you are so full of yourself,” I mutter under my breath, even though I’m clenching my thighs together from his dirty words.
“No, but one day soon you’re going to be full of me.”
During the first month of life, the number of connections or synapses dramatically increases from fifty trillion to one quadrillion.
After his last remark, we drive the rest of the way in silence. He doesn’t speak and I’m not going to ‘poke the bear,’ as they like to say. I’ve stolen glances at him. His posture is stiff, yet relaxed. I’ve noticed that he hardly smiles, unless it’s at me. Whenever someone talks to him, a mask appears over his face. He shuts them out, only letting them see what he wants them to see. I like the idea that I can make him smile, even if it’s at my own expense.