Punk Rock-A-Bye Baby(59)

They headed upstairs and out onto the back deck. No women, just the four of them. Tommy lit a fire in the stone pit, and they settled in wooden Adirondack chairs around it, smoking fine Cuban cigars. Angel passed out bottles of beer. Tommy’s eyes traveled between his two closest friends and his husband. They were all an integral part of his life. It was hard to believe he had only known them a few years, especially Angel. He took a long drag from the cigar and blew the rich smoke up toward the darkening sky. “I can’t believe how much my life has changed since I first met you guys.” Hell, he couldn’t believe how much his life had changed in the last year. He’d had two near-death experiences, had his life handed back to him – twice – and now he had a beautiful baby. A son. It was surreal.

“All of our lives have changed, man,” Jimmy pointed out. “I’m married.” He shook his head, as if he still couldn’t believe it. “Never thought that would happen. Ever.”

Damien rolled the cigar between his fingers and watched the tip smolder. “I’m grateful for how much my life has changed. I’ll never take it for granted either. There was a time when I didn’t know where my next meal was comin’ from, or if I was gonna get caught in a shootout in the hallway of one of the shithole apartment buildings I lived in.”

“That was a lifetime ago,” Angel told him. “Look at you now.”

“I know.” Damien lifted his chin up to the sky, and the light from the fire illuminated the color of his hair. “I’m not a religious guy, but got a ton of shit to be thankful for. Someone’s got my back.” He slugged Angel in the knee. “Besides you.”

“All of our lives have changed drastically.” Angel puffed on his cigar. “I guess that happens as we get older. I don’t know if anyone is more surprised at the change in their life than I am, though.”

“How so?” Jimmy asked. “I know you screwed around as much as me when you were single, but we all knew you just wanted to settle down with one guy and play house. You had to know the same thing, didn’t you?”

Angel turned and locked those deep penetrating eyes on Tommy, and Tommy’s heart just about stopped. He wondered if Angel would still have the same effect on him 10 or 20 years from now. He couldn’t imagine his dick not jumping to attention whenever Angel gazed at him with that sexy hue in his eyes.

“I always knew I wanted a steady relationship,” Angel answered Jimmy, still looking at Tommy. “That’s not what I meant. I meant that I never expected to be in a three-way relationship.”

“A three-way?” Damien teased. “Are you finally gonna admit you swing both ways now?”

Angel huffed out a frustrated sigh, and it turned into a laugh. “Would you stop insinuating that me and Jessi fool around?”

“Quit actin’ like you don’t.” Damien leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “You tell us the truth, Tommy. Is this guy in the closet or what?”

Tommy threw his head back and laughed into the night air. He knew Damien was only busting Angel’s balls, but he also knew that a lot of people wondered what really went on behind closed doors. “I refuse to answer any questions that involve my wife’s sex life. It would be unethical.”

Damien pursed his lips to the side and sat back. “Dude, you’re just avoiding the question, which is as good as admitting it.”

Jimmy threw another log on the fire. It ignited an array of sparks that flew above them like fireflies. He snubbed out his cigar and placed it on the edge of the fire pit. “It’s your turn, Dame. When are you and Alyssa gonna add a little punk rocker to the crew?”

Damien shook his head. “Parenthood ain’t for me.” He was quiet for a long time with deep thought reflected behind his pensive eyes. “I love Mason, and Lucas stole my heart the second I laid eyes on the kid, but it’s too much responsibility. I don’t want to fuck up my kid’s head. I don’t know how to be a father.”

“There’s no instruction book. Look at me, man. Kendall showed up on my doorstep and just dropped off Mason. I had no idea what to do. Instinct kicks in. You learn how to be a parent. You’d be a great dad, Damien. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Damien shrugged one shoulder and half-heartedly acknowledged Jimmy’s statements.

“I’m brand new at this,” Tommy said. “I’m scared too, but I’m not doing it alone. I’ve got Angel and Jessi. And you’ve got Alyssa.”

Damien nodded. “I know. My girl’s always there for me.” He stared into the fire, deep in thought. “Maybe someday. Alyssa never really talked about having a kid, but if she wanted one, I’d be okay with it. I guess. I’d do anything for her. She’s my lifeline.”