Punk Rock-A-Bye Baby(46)

Her sobs slowly quieted down to soft sniffles, and she stepped back slightly so her forehead rested in the center of his chest.

He tilted her chin upwards and placed a tender kiss on her lips. “Let’s sit down.”

They sat on the edge of the bed with their arms around each other, both drifting off into their own private hell where Tommy was no longer present in their life. Angel spread his hand across the sheet where Tommy had been lying a few minutes ago, just to feel his presence.

Jessi turned her face up to Angel, but he looked away. He didn’t want her to see the pain in his eyes or read the array of fears that gnawed at him.

She leaned forward so she could see his face, and he had no choice but to meet her eyes. They mimicked every wicked fear that harbored inside his head. They read each other’s thoughts: What if Tommy didn’t make it? What if Tommy ended up with brain damage? What if the aneurysm clip didn’t hold?

“Will you still stay with me if something happens to Tommy, and help me raise this baby?” she asked after a long pause.

It was the one scenario he hadn’t pondered, because the answer was clear. “I’m never leaving you, Jessi. I love you. We’re married. You’re part of my life. Forever.” His eyes dropped to her unborn child. “This is my baby, too. I know I’m not a biological parent, but—”

“Yes. You are. You’re just as much a father to this baby as Tommy.” Tears quickly filled her eyes until they were two large pools of water, and she smiled through the blur. “You’re Papi.”

Papi. That one little word pushed all the fears and doubts from his body and filled him with so much love that he could barely contain his smile. He still had mild reservations about where he stood in his role as a parent – or if he even had one. Now it was clear. He was Papi.

He pulled Jessi into his arms with a small laugh. “I can’t wait to meet this baby. Is it possible to love someone so much before they’re even born?”

“It is.” She looked him deep in the eyes. “We both have so much love to give, Angel. That’s why this works between us. We’re unselfish when it comes to love, and we put the ones we love before our own needs. Some might say that’s unhealthy, but it’s the only way I know how to love. All or nothing. And you’re the same way.”

She was speaking about their mutual love for Tommy and explained it perfectly. Not many people could share the man they loved and withstand the obstacles of a polyamorous relationship, but they persevered. Nothing could tear their love apart. Except . . .

His hands went to his forehead, and he pulled at the roots of his hair. Burning fear gripped his heart and squeezed it until he thought it would explode. This time, he couldn’t suppress the sob that broke through all his defenses. It burst from his lips in a forlorn cry that startled him. He covered his face in order to shield Jessi from witnessing the anguish that twisted his cheeks and mouth into a horrid grimace.

Her arms enveloped him in a hug, and her sobs joined his. They clung to one another, each bearing the same pain. They were pinned together, harpooned through the heart, bleeding into each other. Their fears fed off of one another. Their trio was split. Its core was missing, and they were left with two disjointed ends searching for their missing link so they could be whole once again.



Chapter Twelve

“What the fuck’s taking so long?” Damien’s pacing back and forth made everyone nervous. The agitated slap of his boots on the tile floor, the gory tattoos, and his blue mohawk, sent several uneasy occupants to the outer edge of the waiting room.

Angel was already stressed beyond his limits. He didn’t need to be reminded that Tommy had been in surgery for over an hour longer than anticipated. No one had offered any information or explanation. He glanced over at Jessi and worried about her discomfort in the hard plastic chair.

“Can we get a soft chair for Mrs. Blade?” he asked the nurse at the desk. “She’s six months pregnant, and we’ve been sitting here all day.”

After studying Jessi for several seconds, the nurse nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“And please get an update on Tommy Blade. We haven’t heard anything, and we’re starting to get frantic that something’s wrong.” As soon as he said it, Angel wished he could take back the words. They were all thinking it – wondering why surgery wasn’t over yet or why a doctor hadn’t emerged from the O.R. with any kind of reassurance – but no one dared say the words out loud.

When he returned to Jessi and the others, Alyssa was sitting in his seat. “Tommy’s tough. He’s gonna pull through. He’s got a lot to live for,” she reassured Jessi.