We owe them a favor and they’re calling it in. I just hope all goes well and I won’t have to light up the sky. I already shot the Five Aces VP months back, and most of the dust has settled. Maybe it calmed because they have bigger battles to deal with. The Hard Mixers are pretty sure shit is going to get rough tonight.
I don’t have a problem getting my hands dirty if it means taking out a few Five Aces. They’re a waste of human existence. But now, if stuff blows back it won’t just hit me. I put my hand over my belly, the life that’s growing there.
“Shit,” I mumble to myself, feeling a little helpless, like I might be letting down my brothers. I haven’t felt helpless since I was little girl and my father used to beat on me. No, I made sure I never felt helpless again. Spent my life making sure that wouldn’t ever happen again. But now I feel like I’m spinning, unsure which direction I’m going.
I let anger take it. It’s the easiest emotion to deal with, and I know right where I’ll be going with it. Heading down the hallway, I yell Vincent’s name.
I walk into the bedroom to see him making the bed.
“This is all your fucking fault!” I yell at him. Vincent just walks around the side of the bed closer to me and sits on the end. A smile pulls at his lips.
“That so?” He kicks his feet out like he’s just relaxing and not at all intimidated by my anger. In fact, he seems to be liking it. That makes me even madder.
“Yes, it's all your fault. You got me pregnant! You know, like a baby!” I motion to my stomach. “You refused to wear those condoms. Now I’m going to leave my brothers hanging. Worse, I’m going to be the worst mother on the face of the planet. I don’t know what to do with a baby. I don’t even know how to hold them, change them, God, even feed them.”
I feel my panic rising when I start to think about all the things being a mother will entail. I’m going to be so lost. I feel my nose start to burn. I do not want to fail this child. Not like my parents failed me, leaving scars on me to this day.
Vincent gets up from the bed and walks over to me. He cups my face. I’m in full meltdown mode, and I do not melt down.
“You ran to me this time,” he says, leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of my head. My heart flutters. I did. I have a knack for running when I get scared. Ran from my home when I was young, ran from the pain of people I’d lost when I was in the service, ran from Vincent when I thought my world might crush his. This time, I ran to him. It was the first place I thought to go when it all started hitting me.
“Yeah, I did, because you’re going to be changing all those diapers. You’re the one who did this. It’s all your fault.” I push at his chest, but he doesn’t move an inch. He throws his head back and laughs, making me grit my teeth.
“I’m going to punch you right in the throat.”
“All right, let me make sure I’m clear on why I’m getting punched before you do it.”
I cock my head to the side, waiting to hear his excuse.
“Tell me, MacKenzie, why didn’t you go get the shot again? You’ve been on birth control for years.”
“I forgot! Sometimes I forget things.”
Vincent laughs again. “You haven’t forgotten a goddamn thing in your whole life, Mac,” he says. “Hell, I bet you could name the last twenty bets we’ve had and who won them.”
“Well that’s easy. I always win.” I smirk.
“Yeah, you do.” He leans down, kissing the smirk off my face, his hands going to my ass as he picks me up. I wrap my legs around him and lock my arms behind his head.
“You never forget. Why do you think you forgot this time?”
“’Cause I want it.” I feel my eyes start to water like I’m about to cry. I don’t cry. Not even when I killed my own father.
“There it is.” He lays me down on the bed and cages me in. I’d never let a man handle me like he does. I like to be in control, but with Vincent I don’t need it. In fact, I feel safe when he has it and I know nothing can touch me. He’d destroy anything that tried to touch me anyway.
“It’s your family,” I finally say. As much as his sisters can drive me freaking nuts, I love their crazy asses. Going over there for Sunday dinner is chaos, and I bitch about having to go every week, but the truth is, I love it over there. My brothers at the club are my family, but with Vincent’s family it's different. It’s sweet and filled with a love I’d never known, and they sucked me right in like I’ve always belonged with them.
I wanted more, and I knew Vincent wanted a family of his own. I wanted to give him that.