Her: Don’t use Hayley as collateral.
Me: I’ll use anything I can.
Quiet. No response.
Me: Please forgive me. Come back home.
Her: I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Me: I think it’s the best idea I’ve ever had.
Her: What time is her recital?
Yes! Thank God!
Me: Seven. Will you come?
Her: I’ll come. But only because Hayley asked me to.
I take a deep breath because I suddenly can. I feel like the belt that was wrapped around my chest just loosened.
Me: I’ll take you however I can get you.
She doesn’t send more messages and my eyelids are getting heavy, so I send one last message.
Me: I’ve been taking care of people my whole life. My job was to solve everyone’s problems and make sure that everything was okay. You weren’t my responsibility, and I should have realized that. I want you to be my equal, not someone I have to take care of. I promise not to do that again. And when I make a promise, I mean it. I’ll talk to you and listen when you talk. I won’t always do what you want. But I’ll try not to steamroll you again.
She’s not going to reply. I knew that before I sent the message. I tuck my phone under my pillow, just in case she does, and I close my eyes. I dream about her red lips and that perfect smile. And for the first time all week, I don’t wake up grasping for something I don’t have.
Friday
Henry keeps strange hours. It’s two in the morning, and he’s down in his shop working on clocks. Faith was here until around midnight working with him until her husband, Daniel, came to take her home.
I skip down the stairs and stop at the bottom. Henry has spread out pieces of a clock, and the tiny gears are all over the table in front of him.
He grins at me and shakes his head. “My Nan used to skip down those stairs just like that. She brought me coffee and snacks because I sometimes got so engrossed in my work I forgot to eat.”
“What are you working on?” I ask, handing him a cup of coffee.
He takes a sip and smiles at me over the rim. “Thanks,” he says. His eyes twinkle. He motions to what’s in front of him. “This clock is not cooperating,” he says. “It’s a stubborn bastard, but I refuse to let it win.” He laughs and picks up a tiny gear and shows it to me. “Do you see that? Sometimes it’s the smallest things that can set off a whole slew of symptoms. You have to dig really deep to find it, and you almost have to dismantle the whole thing. But if you’re willing to dig deep enough, you’ll almost always get there.”
He starts to put the clock back together. He’s wearing thick magnifying glasses that make his eyes look huge.
I sit down beside him and pick my feet up, spinning my chair in a circle like a child. He shakes his head. “Faithy used to do that when she was little. She still does, when she’s in a quirky mood. It’s usually a signal that she wants to talk.”
I lean forward, rest my elbow on the counter, and put my chin on my upturned palm. “What do you miss the most, Henry?” I ask softly.
He doesn’t even look up. “I miss the noise,” he says. “My Nan used to chatter like a magpie. She talked all the time. The woman never shut up. I used to have to kiss her so that I could get her to be quiet long enough to get a word in edgewise.” He takes a deep breath. “Yes. I miss the noise the most.” He looks up at me finally, and smiles. “It’s been really nice having you here this week,” he says. “A little noise in the house is a good thing.”
“Thank you for letting me hide out.”
He snorts. “Let me guess. It’s time for you to go back to your family.”
A smile tips the corners of my lips. “Paul just texted me.”
His brow arches. “Oh yeah?” He grins. “What did he have to say?”
“He pretty much said he’s a dumbass and he won’t be one again.”
Henry laughs.
My voice goes quiet. “He really said he’s been taking care of people his whole life, and it’s always been his job to solve everybody’s problems. It’s a hard habit to break.” I spin my chair around again. “What do you think?”
“I think he loves you.” He looks up and shrugs. “That’s all I think. He loves you. You love him. That much is obvious. What else do you need to know?”
I draw in a deep breath and spin.
“You need to know he won’t leave you? That he won’t betray you? That he won’t leave you all alone? That he’ll love you until the end of time?”
I stop spinning, but I can’t open my mouth because everything in my head seems stupid, even to me.