She squeezed her eyes closed. She felt…guilty. She was so relieved that Blaine and the women were free. She was pleased that Galen and his fellow imperators had shut down the Srinar’s fight ring, at least for the time being. And she had finally admitted to herself that she was completely, and utterly, in love with Lore.
Here she was feeling happiness, when her son was so far away.
She heard someone at the door and looked up to see Galen watching her.
“The celebratory dinner has started,” he said.
She gave him a nod. The staff had been busy all day, planning the dinner to celebrate the successful mission and welcome Blaine, Dayna, Mia, and Winter. “I’ll make an appearance.”
That one icy-blue eye watched her like a laser. “Are you okay? You should be happy. You helped free Blaine and the women. They’re safe now.”
Madeline nodded. “I am. What about the other man? The blue alien?”
Galen’s face hardened. “We brought him with us, but then he became violent when we got back here. He’s wild and unstable, and the healers are concerned that the drugs used on him may have caused some permanent damage.”
“Has he said anything?”
“Not a word. For now, we have him as comfortable as possible in a cell.”
Locked up. She hoped there was something they could do for him. “Have you seen Lore?”
Galen shook his head. “Not since this morning. He’ll turn up.”
It wasn’t like Lore to just disappear. They’d survived that horrible experience in the fight pit together, and then this morning, he’d been gone. Madeline wasn’t sure what to think.
Finally, she could make no more excuses. She made her way down toward the living area, where the dinner was being held. She stopped outside the door, listening to the happy chatter and laughter inside.
Everyone was celebrating, but she felt a little hollow.
For the first time in a long time, she felt very alone and she wanted Lore. That annoying prick of tears started, and she blinked them away.
Strong arms wrapped around her from behind. “Madeline.”
And just like that, the riotous emotions inside her settled. Just the sound of Lore’s voice steadied her. She hadn’t realized just how much she needed him.
“Where have you been?” Her voice held the tiniest snap of anger.
“I had something I needed to do.”
She turned and leaned into him. She felt him studying her face. Finally, he grabbed her hand. But instead of leading her into the dinner, he pulled her away from the living area.
“Where are we going?”
He didn’t say anything until he pulled her into her office. He went straight to her couch, and pulled her into his lap.
“What’s wrong, dushla?”
She sighed. “Am I that easy to read?”
“There is nothing I’d call easy about you.” He stroked her cheek. “Tell me.”
She shrugged. “I suddenly realized that I was using the search for Blaine as a way to block my pain.”
“And now that the search is over, the pain is back.” His chin rubbed against the top of her head. “I’m here, Madeline. And it’s okay for you to do whatever you need to, in order to get through the tough circumstances. It is okay to cry.”
He was all solid strength, and always there for her.
Suddenly, Madeline couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. The tears she really hadn’t let herself cry. The sorrow poured out of her, sobs wracking her body. For herself. Her friends. For Jack. For Yelena.
Lore held her, brushing her hair back. “There you go. That’ll make you feel better.”
Slowly, the storm passed, and she looked up at him. She sniffled. “Maybe I feel a bit better, but I must look horrible.”
He smiled. “A blotchy face and red eyes have never looked so beautiful.”
God. Her heart clenched. She knew him well enough to know he meant every word. She was in love with this man. She—hardass Madeline Cochran—had fallen in love with a charming alien gladiator.
“Madeline? What’s wrong?” His gaze turned serious.
“I was terrified of falling in love with you.”
He watched her steadily, but his hands flexed on her.
“But now that I am,” she said. “I couldn’t imagine my life without you.”
“Thank the cosmos.” Pure joy raced over Lore’s face. He pulled her closer to him. “I love you too, dushla. So much.”
He pressed his mouth to hers. The kiss was filled with so much love, tangled with desire.
He nipped at her lips. “I can never replace what you lost, Madeline, but I will spend every day helping you remember, and giving you something new to hold on to.”