His whole body was shaking. His jaw was clenched. His pale skin was flushed. And there was an undeniable smirk upon his lips, especially when he said:
“We can make this work, Gwendolyn. Do you trust me?”
I nodded lazily. It was the only thing I could do.
How could I say no to Tristan ever again?
As it turned out, that question was answered for the moment my stepbrother opened his stupid mouth.
“Well, I suppose there comes a time in every young, royal man’s life where he must take his first mistress…”
Then he laughed. The arsehole actually laughed. And he kept laughing as I stared at him, jaw sagging, in utter disbelief of what he’d just said.
“Your mistress,” I said. It wasn’t even a question, just a hollow repetition of the words that had just dropped out of the mouth that had kissed me. “You… you think I’d ever agree to that?” I said, my brow furrowing so hard it made my face hurt. “You think that I’d ever stoop that low—that I have no respect for myself?”
“Oh, come on, Gwennie,” Tristan said, that petulant smirk still on his face. “All the royals have them. Why not me?” When I didn’t share in his good humor, he tried to pull me close. “Come now, don’t get yourself all in a tizzy…”
“Shut up, Tristan,” I hissed, pushing him away. “For once in your life, shut up. Your mistress?! For Christ’s sakes, your dick is still inside me!”
“I was joking!” Tristan said, his grin fading as I forced him out of my cunt and halfway across the bed. My bed. Christ, the audacity! “Gwennie, come on…”
“Stop calling me that!” I shouted. “How dare you, Tristan? How dare you insinuate that I would ever do something like that—be the other woman, the homewrecker, the…” My voice broke and hot, angry tears welled in my eyes. “How could you think I’d ever become my mother?”
Tristan’s face softened immediately, but that only made me angrier. “You dolt,” I whispered. “You blithering dolt. You didn’t even think about that, did you? You didn’t even consider…”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Gwendolyn, I was making a joke. It wasn’t meant to hurt you.”
“But it did,” I snapped. “It did, Tristan. Whether you meant it to or not. And that makes you an ass—an inconsiderate ass who doesn’t get to decide if you hurt me or not. That’s for me to decide—the one who’s feeling the pain.” I shook my head at him. “You didn’t think… but you should have. I’m not one of your girls you don’t know anything about. You know everything about me, my life story. You’re the only one I ever told about what my mother did to me, how she conned your father, and how she used me to…” I trailed off, lost for any more words on the subject. “Maybe you didn’t think about that because you didn’t want to. Because you didn’t care to.”
“No, Gwendolyn, that’s not… I didn’t…” But he couldn’t come up with any defense. His mouth worked, but his usual Tristan charm and diplomacy was gone. Not even a master manipulator like him could weasel his way out of this one.
“You’re right, you know,” I said at length, covering myself with the sheets. “That’s all I’d ever be to you, isn’t it? I could never be anything else. Nothing official. Nothing that came first.” I snorted. “Not when your money and title occupy that space, anyway.”
“Please, Gwendolyn,” Tristan began, “I can make this right. I was a fool, but what I said doesn’t mean…”
“Get out,” I told him. When he didn’t move, I said it louder: “Get out!”
Tristan’s face crumpled. His eyes were pleading. “It was… just a joke…”
“It wasn’t funny. It was cruel. You are cruel. Now get out!”
Tristan gathered his clothes and put them on outside of the bedroom without a word. I waited until I heard the door close to start sobbing in earnest. I’d risked everything for a few moments of pleasure. My business. My reputation. All of it was on the line. And for what reward? Memories that would haunt me the rest of my life? Pleasure I would never feel again?
This isn’t a Disney movie, Tristan had told me once, when I was young. I’m not your Prince Charming, or your knight in shining armor. I’d thought that was just bad boy rhetoric, that if I could make him see the light, he’d somehow change. But he hadn’t, and he never would. Not until he got married, and some other woman bore his children and made him into the man I’d always wished he would be.