And I have to go now.
If I disappear again, Garrett will follow. He won't stay around and hurt Nate and the Stevens family. He will hunt me. Always.
My biggest fear is that Nate will follow, too. As much as it kills me, I have to do the one thing I never wanted to do. I have to hurt Nate. I have to do it in a way that will ensure he won't come after me.
I head out to his small office and grab a sheet of paper from the desk. My hands tremble and the tears stream down my face as I write:
Nate,
I know this is going to hurt you, but I can't stay. I lied to you last night. I don't love you. I can't stay here and pretend to be OK with everything that is going on in your life. Your job is too much for me. I thought I could handle it, but I just can't. I don't want to be a widow before I'm 30. Your family is great, but it's all too suffocating. I'm used to being alone. That's the way I like it and that's the way I want it. Please know that I'll always remember our time together, but it's over. I hope you have a wonderful life and finally get your dream.
Lia
Writing that stupid lie of a letter was the hardest thing I've ever done. And not just one lie, but multiple. The only part that is true besides our names is that I hope he gets his dream. I want that for Nate more than anything; even if I'm not in it. I leave it on the counter, next to the coffee pot, and head back to retrieve my bag. It's in the hallway right where I left it. As I pick it up, I steal another long look at Nate one last time.
"I will always love you and remember our time together. You are my other half," I whisper from the doorway. I want to go in and touch him one final time, but I can't. I don't want to wake him up or risk running behind schedule. I need to go. Now.
I blow a final kiss and gaze at his sleeping body through tear-filled eyes. My heart cracks wide open and bleeds everything I have all over the floor. I suck in one final, shaky breath as I turn around and head towards the back of Nate's house. With each step I take, I slowly die a little on the inside.
I slip out the back door, looking both ways multiple times for any movement. Garrett may be waiting for me at the hotel, but that doesn't mean any one of his goons isn't watching the house right now. The sun is just starting to rise which means my time to slip out unnoticed is getting slimmer and slimmer by the second. I silently pull the locked door closed behind me and make my way to the trees that separate Nate's property from his neighbors. I have no idea where I'm going, but I know I have to go now.
I can't go to retrieve my car because it's probably being watched, too. Nate's place is probably being watched, and I'm pretty sure that the closest bus terminal and train station are in St. Charles. I'm very quickly running out of options here.
I keep myself hidden within the trees and make quick work towards the edge of town. I glance behind me every few minutes to see if I'm being followed, but I don't see anyone on foot or in an approaching vehicle.
Eventually, when I hit the edge of town, the sun is fully shining over the horizon and the town is waking up. Cars are moving from place to place, which makes my ability to watch for any followers that much more difficult.
I stick to walking about ten feet or so inside the timber as I head out of Rivers Edge.
Heading towards the unknown.
Heading away from Nate with each step I take.
Leaving a trail of tears and broken pieces of my shattered soul.
Leaving Rivers Edge for good.
Chapter Thirteen
Nate
Sunlight peeking through the blinds wakes me from a deep sleep. I crack open my eyes and see the alarm clock reads 8:04am. I roll over to my back to grab for Lia, but her side of the bed is empty. I listen for a few seconds for the sound of the shower, but the house is eerily quiet.
"Lia?" I holler out from the bed. I hear no movement. Nothing.
I disentangle myself from the sheet and head out to find my girl. I don't even stop to put on pants as a strange feeling takes root in my gut. The bathroom is open and the light is off, so I head into the living room, which is also empty.
Maybe she ran out for breakfast? Did she have to work today?
Just as I reach for my cell phone on counter, I catch sight of the piece of paper in front of the coffee maker.
I practically run over to the note and scoop it up. My heart races and my nostrils flare as I read her words.
Doesn't love me?
What kind of sick person says she loves you one minute and then takes it back the next?
Can't handle my job?
It would have been nice if she would have fucking realized that before now!
Anger sweeps in and mixes with the heart-crushing ache I feel deep in my chest. I drop the note and place my hands on the countertop. I lower my head and try not to think about her words. Her fucking words that have gutted me and left me bleeding a slow, agonizing death in my damn kitchen.
I shake my head and stalk back to my bedroom. I slam open the drawers as I pull out boxers and shorts. I slam each leg into the pants until I'm covered up. Throwing on the first t-shirt in the pile, I stomp back towards the door, grabbing my keys and wallet from the counter as I pass.
I peel out of the driveway, leaving rubber on the street. I head straight to the bakery, pulling the Mustang into the first open space in the alley. Lia's old Honda is still in the same place it was sitting, when I picked her up, last night before the gala.
I practically run up the stairs, two at a time, and pound relentlessly on her door.
"Lia, open up!" I holler. I try to calm myself, but I just can't make myself do it. "Lia!" I holler after she doesn't answer the door.
I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and quickly dial Avery's number.
"This better be good," she answers sleepily.
"Where's the spare key to get into Lia's apartment?" I thunder at my sister.
"Nate? What's wrong?" she asks, instantly on alert.
"I need into her apartment. Now. Don't mess with me, Avery."
"Nate, calm down. Is Lia alright?" she urges.
"I don't know. She left a fucking Dear John letter on my counter this morning," I say. My breathing is labored as my nostrils flare in some crazy Hulk moment. My emotions have completely gotten the best of me.
"Nate, you have to calm down. Do you have the key for the bakery with you?" she asks.
"Yes," I answer, running back down the stairs to retrieve the keys still in the ignition of the Mustang.
"Go into the office in the bakery. Top center desk drawer is a small key ring with a few keys. The one marked with an A is the spare to the apartment. Mom has always left it at the bakery in case the tenant locks themselves out," Avery says in a calm voice.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you, Ave, I'm just … I'm just losing my damn mind right now," I say as I let myself into the bakery.
"Don't go in there yet, Nate. Take a few minutes to calm down before you go in or she'll never listen to you. Do you hear me?"
"Yeah, I gotcha," I reply.
"I love you, Nate."
"Love you, too," I tell my baby sister. I find the key ring right away and single out the key marked with the A. Before I head back out, I take a few deep, calming breaths. I'm known for being able to remain cool and collected under pressure, but this has me completely losing my shit. She can't be gone.
I slowly make my way up the stairs. I knock one more time before placing the key in the knob. When Lia doesn't answer, I let myself inside the apartment.
"Lia," I call out, taking in the small apartment.
Most of the furnishings were here when Lia rented the place - all used pieces from my parents' house over the years. There are still a few personal items lying around. Dishes are still in the sink untouched. I walk into her bedroom and notice how empty it feels. There's a little bit of clothes hanging in the closet, but the majority is gone. I pull open the drawers and notice they're practically empty. What little bit of items are left are strewn around like she just grabbed and took what she could.
I look around the room again and notice the white lace underwear sitting on the bed. I sit down and grab a hold of the delicate material. I grip the satin and lace tightly in my hand as I scan the room one last time. It smells like Lia, but her presence is gone. She's fucking gone.
I give the apartment one last look over and finally make my way to the door. I lock the door behind me as I step out into the bright September sun. It's going to be a beautiful day for the day before Labor Day, and all I can think about is how much today blows. Today is the worst day ever.
I'm heading down the stairs when I notice a guy walking towards me.