I feel her warm breath against my neck as she tucks herself tightly against me. Exhaustion settles in again, and I feel my eyelids slowly close. I have so much to say. So much to ask. So many questions that need answered.
But right now, I need this woman to feel safe. I need her to know that I will never hurt her physically. I am not the man who has hurt her in the past. I need to show her how much I care for her.
Lia's breathing starts to even out against me signaling that she's drifting off to sleep. I slowly release my death-grip on her and just revel in the feel of her body against mine.
Her beautiful, smiling face is the only thing I picture as I drift off to sleep.
*****
I'm startled awake from a deep, restless sleep. I dreamed of a faceless man with dark, empty holes where his eyes should be. He was stalking towards Lia and no matter what I did, I couldn't keep him from going after her. Everything I did, he was right there.
I suck in deep, calming breaths as I take in the room. Night has fallen which means it's well after nine. I look over to catch the time on Lia's alarm clock and slam straight into her crystal clear eyes.
"Hey," I say hoarsely.
"Hi," she whispers and shifts closer. I pull her tightly against my hard body, my hands roaming up and down her back in a soothing gesture.
"So, I have some things I should probably tell you," she whispers without making eye contact.
"I won't push you, Lia, but I have a lot of questions. I want to listen. I want to be here for you and listen to what you need to say," I tell her. "But, I'm going to be honest. Hearing you tell me what I know is coming is going to kill me. I may get mad and angry, but please know that it's not directed towards you. Do you understand that? I will never be angry at you," I tell her as I place a kiss on the side of her head.
"I know that. Before … that reaction was just that, a reaction. It was what my life was like before. Before you. I know you'd never hit me," she whispers as the words get caught in her throat.
I slowly turn her around so that her back is to my front. I want her to feel my strength wrapped around her and know that I'm here for her, but know that it might be easier for her to talk if she isn't staring at me. Because, like I told her, I'm not sure I can keep my emotions in check.
When Lia is snuggled tightly against me, she begins. "I met Garrett my senior year of college. He had already graduated and was working for his dad. We met at the bakery I was working at, and I remember thinking he was so handsome and put together. Completely unlike me. I was a mess, finishing school full time and working just about as many hours as humanly possible.
"When Garrett came back in the next day for another coffee, we seemed to hit it off. I couldn't believe this great-looking guy with loads of money and a political background was interested in me. We started seeing each other whenever we could fit it in between my school time and work hours. Within a few months, I was graduating college and ready to begin my adult life," Lia tells me.
"Garrett came from money and was kept firmly in line under his father's thumb. He lived in the Governor's mansion full time, but had a house in Daytona."
"Wait, Governor's mansion?" I ask as my body tenses uncontrollably against hers.
"Yeah, Garrett is Garrett Monahan. Only son of Warren Monahan, Governor of Florida," she states.
Fuck me. I suck in several deep breaths before I can get the words past the lump in my throat. "Go on," I tell her.
"Everything was great for the first year. Garrett moved into the house in Daytona and proceeded to work for his father from that location. I moved in shortly after he did. Garrett strongly encouraged me to quit the job I had just gotten. He said it was because he wanted me available at any moment's notice for fundraisers, parties, or dinner meetings. I didn't really want to, but Garrett wouldn't be deterred. I didn't see anything other than the politician's handsome son. I didn't see the monster lurking underneath until it was too late.
"One night after I'd lived with him about a year, we were getting ready for a fundraising gala. We were arguing over a broken platter that happened earlier in the day. I accidentally ran into Gretchen, the live-in cook, as she was carrying the platter towards the dining room to serve Garrett and the campaign team. It crashed to the floor, breaking into a million pieces and sending the food flying. I tried to help her clean it up, but she wouldn't let me. Garrett came into the kitchen and glared at me. He never said a word in front of Gretchen or the men at the table, but I could tell by the look he was giving me that we'd be discussing it later.
"And discuss it, we did. I tried to argue that it was an accident, which just seemed to enrage him further. It was the first time," she whispers. "It was the first time he hit me."
I tighten my hold on her as she says the words. Knowing that some jackass somewhere has put his hands on her, repeatedly, makes me see red. An ugly, vile shade of red that makes me want to do inhuman things to anyone who crosses me. I struggle to keep myself in check as Lia continues.
"He grabbed me by the upper arms and shook me until I practically saw stars. The blow came to my chest. It felt like my lungs exploded. I couldn't breathe; I couldn't see straight. I fell to the ground in a heap of nothing."
"How often did he hit you?" I ask, not really wanting to know the answer, but knowing that I needed to ask.
"Not often at first. And he never hit me or marked me where I couldn't cover it up with clothes or makeup. Markings to my face were rare, surprisingly. He didn't want anyone to know what he was doing to me.
"Afterwards, he always came back with an elaborate apology which usually included flowers, a romantic dinner, or a weekend away."
"How long were you with him?" I mumble through clenched teeth.
"Four years," she says.
"Four years?" A fresh wave of anger courses through my body and radiates off the walls as they close in on me. I want to slam my fist into the wall and follow it up with my fist to Garrett's face. I want to maim. Annihilate. End him.
"Yeah. I always thought it would get better. I thought that he loved me. Well, he loved the control. I knew it deep down in my heart that our relationship wasn't right. After several unsuccessful attempts to leave, which resulted in more abuse, I realized I needed a food proof plan. I planned it out the best I could for months, knowing that the opportunity would one day present itself."
"When did it? When did that opportunity present itself?" I ask.
"Ten months ago. We were preparing for the Governor's Ball, just days after Warren won his latest bid for Governor in the November election. He came home after celebrating all afternoon with his team and I could smell the whiskey on him before he even came into the room. I was completely ready since we were five minutes away from when we needed to leave. Garrett stumbled into our bedroom and glared at me. I had no clue what I had done this time so I tried to busy myself by gathering up his tuxedo for him and taking it into the bathroom.
"When I came out of the room, he stalked towards me and grabbed me around the neck. My dress was long and had a full collar because I was hiding the marks he left the night before. He squeezed until I became dizzy and almost passed out. It was the first time I prayed for it to be over. I wanted him to squeeze the life out of me so I could finally be free.
"When he let go, I stumbled backwards only to get a backhand upside the cheek. God that hurt so bad. I stumbled on my expensive designer heels towards the door, trying to flee his raging hands. He stormed after me and grabbed me just when I reached the top of the stairs. I stumbled in my heels and made a grab for him, knowing that I was going to fall down the stairs. He actually stepped back. My eyes locked on his cold ones as I started to fall." Lia sniffles as I reach a hand around and stroke her wet cheek.
"I woke up later in the hospital. I had cracked or broken ribs, I'm sure, but I knew that this was my big chance. Garrett was required to make an appearance at the fundraiser so while he was gone, I slipped the dress back on and snuck out of the hospital."
"Damn, baby," I moan as I offer all of the comfort I have in my embrace. I don't even attempt to hide the tears in my eyes or the ones that escape down my cheek.
"Sadly, that wasn't my first trip down the stairs, but I imagine you've heard enough for tonight," she says.