I grab a hold of Nate’s back, feeling his amazing muscles clench and tense underneath my touch. Without even realizing it, I dig my nails in as my body starts the familiar climb. The feel of my nails biting his back must push Nate past his breaking point. His entire body tenses as he begins to grind his body against mine. My orgasm rips from me so deeply that I’m not sure I’ll ever be whole again.
Nate is right there with me. His mouth is firmly attached to mine as we absorb each other’s moans with our mouths. With each delicious thrust, my orgasm is prolonged that much more. I feel his warmth inside of me, contained by the condom, as he continues to push. Each thrust slower than the last.
Eventually, energy is completely expelled from both of our bodies as we fall limp and sated into the air mattress. I revel in the feel of his big, heavy body on top of me, however eventually it becomes harder and harder to breathe. Nate must sense this and rolls over to his back, pulling me gently with him. With his arms wound tight around me, keeping me warm and safe, I plaster myself against his comfortable chest.
Neither of us says a word. This time it was different. We both know it, but neither one really knows what to say about it. This wasn’t sex. This was Making Love. This is everything I’ve never had before and everything I’ve ever wanted. Nate is everything I’ve never had and everything I’ve always wanted.
“My mom ditched me when I was very young,” I tell Nate out of nowhere. Probably not the best pillow talk after mind-altering sex, but it feels right to tell him the rest of my story.
Nate rubs my back in a comforting gesture so I go on. “She got pregnant in high school, not too long after my grandma passed. She rebelled against life, I guess, and ended up with me. I don’t even know my father. Hell, I’m certain she doesn’t either. I’ve seen her a handful of times, but never when I needed her. I don’t even know where she lives anymore,” I confess.
I feel Nate’s strength as he pulls me even closer to him. He doesn’t say anything; just remains quiet as if waiting me out. And that’s when my story really spills free. I’ve never told anyone about my mom and what it was like growing up without her. Or the fact that my grandpa looked at me as a nuisance, a bother. It was easier to say the words than I thought it would be. I guess much like the day I told Nate about Garrett.
When I’m done, I don’t feel dirty or worthless. I don’t feel shameful or sorrowful. I feel freer than I ever have. As if telling him I was unwanted somehow lifted the weight I didn’t realize was sitting on my chest.
“Thank you for sharing that with me,” he whispers as he continues to stroke my bare skin. “You are without a doubt the bravest and strongest person I know, Lia. Never forget that, okay? Know that you have survived a great ordeal, but don’t let it define you. Learn from it and move forward, but don’t forget it. It’s a part of you, but doesn’t depict you. You are greater than your past,” he says in the night.
I don’t reply. I can’t. Words just won’t come anymore. I just lay there and hold him, letting his words soak in. I am greater than my past, and for once, I see a future within my grasp. It’s right there, dangling like a beautiful diamond pendant.
As the warm August night under the star-filled sky and Nate’s warm body lure me towards sleep, I consider saying the words that are sitting on the tip of my tongue. Those three little words that I swore I would never say again. Never would I give my heart to someone. Never would I give someone the opportunity to destroy me. Even though I know that Nate and Garrett are as different as night and day, I can’t help but keep that little part of myself closed off.
Someday, maybe.
Right now, I will just live in this moment with him, in his arms.
It’s the safest place in the world.
Chapter Nine
Nate
I had a hard time falling asleep last night. The night had been absolutely perfect. The wedding was great, sure, but my time with Lia after we left the reception was magical. Yeah, I said it. Magical.
I told her things - the truth - while I made love to her. I know it freaked her out - shit, it freaked me the hell out. It was written all over her face as she fought the emotions. She looked so happy and scared all at the same time. The tears gathering in her eyes almost gutted me. So, I didn’t say anything else for the rest of the night. I couldn’t. I was afraid I was going to declare my love and send her running for the hills. So I kept that shit to myself and just held her as tightly as I could while she slept. Besides, I can’t exactly tell her yet if I don’t know what it all means myself.