I wanted Marks dead, don’t get me wrong, but I wouldn’t have been the one to kill him.
Marks was a bitch, but not a killer. Pop would have known I’d refuse the job. But there’s another option.
Rush is propped up against the wall of the game room, tossing a coin in the air and catching it before tossing it up again.
“Marks? Was he a target?” I ask without any preamble.
The coin gets dropped to the ground when he doesn’t make a move to catch it, and he cocks his head as confusion flashes. “As in Aaron? Your girl’s pops?”
I nod, still clenching my fists.
“Hell no. Guy deserved a few broken limbs but not death. Thought he overdosed and left a suicide note and all that. When we looked into your girl’s financials, we found out his insurance didn’t pay out because it was ruled a suicide.”
I crack my neck to the side. “Ben Highland implied today that it wasn’t suicide. Actually, he did more than imply it. He told Eve we killed her father.”
He frowns while staring at nothing, as though he’s thinking it over.
“He swallowed pills?”
“According to the coroner’s report.”
“The report is legit?”
I shrug, and he runs his hand through his hair.
“It wasn’t me. I don’t end weasels; I just work them over. I only kill killers. I sure as hell don’t have the patience to watch them OD.”
Eve’s right. We have fucked her up. I’m asking one of ours if he offed her dad. If this isn’t a recipe for a shit-storm, I don’t know what is. And she… She isn’t meant for this shit. She never was.
Turning around, I stalk back out, trying to wrap my head around what I need to do versus the selfish shit I want to do.
“Where the hell are you going? Herrin isn’t going to tell you anything if he hasn’t told you already.”
“I’m not going to see Pop. I need to fuck something up that deserves it.”
Chapter 9
EVE
It’s after midnight when I hear the music downstairs start to roar. Numbly, I lift off the bed and walk to the door. I’ve spent most of the day getting all my crazy out, and I took out most of my meltdown on all of Drex’s shit. The only thing I didn’t touch was his Death Dealers things.
I’m not actually suicidal, after all.
He might not kill me, but someone would take enough offense to that to do something about it. They’re all just waiting for a reason. Hell, they’re all looking for a reason.
Walking to the door, I take a deep breath then pull it open. It’s chaos downstairs. Absolute madness. Men, women, tons of alcohol, and angry music with singers screaming words I can’t understand over the large speakers that have been moved to the center of the floor. I stare from the doorway, not stepping onto the balcony.
But I don’t have to search long before my eyes land on Drex. He’s sitting in a chair, feet propped up as he idly drinks a beer, seeming a thousand miles away as girls dance close to him, trying to seduce his attention.
It sickens me when a pang of jealousy strikes. My feelings for Drex are so fucked up and complicated that I don’t even know what’s real and what’s fabricated for the sake of survival. But I do know it’s not healthy because he will never choose me when it matters. It will cost me my life one day, and falling for him is the stupidest shit I’ve ever done.
Elise is one girl I recognize, and whistles erupt as she shimmies out of her skirt, wearing her thong and a set of chain-like necklaces designed to be a shirt. She struts directly toward Drex, turns, and drops her front half down to the ground while putting her ass right in his line of view. Then she starts dancing, moving with the music that doesn’t really have a beat.
Drex doesn’t acknowledge her. He’s staring at his beer now instead of off in space. He looks a little lost to be honest, and a lump forms in my throat when that makes me feel sympathy.
My eyes narrow on his knuckles when he takes another sip of beer, and I notice they look hurt, possibly even bloody. But my attention is back on Elise when she drops to his lap and spins to face him, grinding herself against him.
Drex stands abruptly and she drops from his lap. Cackles break out across the room as Elise slowly gets up. I see his lips moving, but I can’t hear any words. Whatever he says has her backing away quickly and moving toward another guy instead.
He looks up just in time to catch my eyes, and he tenses all over. I back into the room and close the door, sighing as my mind spins too fast for me to catch up. Catching up is bad anyway. It means facing all of this and what it’s doing to me.
Drex isn’t Prince Charming and I’m not Cinderella. Drex isn’t a hero, and I’m not a damsel in distress. Well, not at the moment. I wasn’t in distress ever until this club.
The door opens and he steps inside, leaning against the door as it shuts, and his eyes meet mine. I can’t tell if he’s drunk, stoned, or just tired.
“You okay?” he asks quietly.
I snort derisively, and he nods like he understands the stupidity of that question.
“I meant physically,” he adds. “How’s your head?”
He brings his beer up to his lips, sipping it casually as though his room isn’t trashed. I don’t think he even bothers to notice all the damage I caused during my momentary breakdown.
“Headache is gone. Dizziness and nausea are gone.”
“You were sick?” he asks, pulling his beer away from his mouth.
“Are we just going to pretend we’re having a normal conversation after I accused you of being responsible for my father’s death, made it look like suicide, which kept his insurance from paying out and ultimately led to me landing my ass here?” I try not to sound angry, but it’s not possible.
He shakes his head. “I was just checking on you.” He exhales harshly while walking toward me, and I sit down on the bed just as he does.
No words are exchanged for several long minutes. He drinks his beer until it’s gone, and he tosses the empty bottle to the floor. It just clanks around but doesn’t break, and I absently watch it roll in an arched pattern, back and forth until it stills completely.
“I don’t know if what Ben said is true or not, but I do know I had nothing to do with it, and I sure as hell wasn’t told about it.”
At this point, I don’t even know what to believe, and I’m exhausted with trying. I feel like I’ve been here for years.
My eyes fall down to his knuckles, and they are definitely scuffed like he got into a fight with a concrete wall. That damage wasn’t caused from that one punch to his wall. His other hand looks just as bad.
“What happened?”
I touch his hand, but he pulls it away like he doesn’t want me touching him.
“I should get back down there. Some of the guys are riding out tomorrow for a few days. You should get some sleep.”
It sort of pisses me off he’s just going to leave me up here after all the shit I’ve dealt with. But then I remind myself about this toxic relationship we’re in and how I brought it all on myself.
He stands like he’s about to leave, but then he turns suddenly, bending over and shoving his hands into my hair before crushing his lips against mine. I’m a little stunned and startled, so I don’t react immediately. Not even sure if I should react.
He kisses me anyway, tasting desperate and starved as he roughly devours me. But it’s over as abruptly as it started and he walks away before I can decide whether or not to kiss him back.
The door shuts behind him, and I lie back, staring at the ceiling for hours, waiting on him to return and tell me what all that was about. It’s not like I can sleep right now.
As much as I wish I could not care about Drex, the simple truth is that I do care about him. I also don’t even want to think about how he makes me feel things on a level I never even knew existed. I feel alive when I’m around him.
Maybe it’s the danger or the excitement, or maybe it’s the fact I don’t just get overlooked by him. He sees me.
Yeah… I’m stupid. Really stupid. I keep thinking Drex’s feelings are as strong as mine. And I keep falling harder for a guy who could very well be toying with me.
When the sun starts to rise, there’s a knock on the door.
Frowning, I glance at the clock, seeing it’s past six in the morning, and I get up to answer it, but it’s Axle on the other side. His expression is grim, and he’s holding the bag I came here with.
“Drex asked me to come collect you.”
My brow furrows in confusion. “What does that mean?”
He blows out a breath, and I swear he looks a little sad. “It means you’re going home.”
Chapter 10
DREX
“You want to talk about what happened to Jessie last night?” Dash asks me as I sit on my bike, staring at the sweet little house across the street that is complete with the fucking white picket fence.
A set of twin boys are playing tag in the front yard, laughing like their lives are perfect. It’s the kind of neighborhood that’s so fucking sweet it would give you a migraine to spend too much time here. It’s so bright and cheery that I haven’t taken my shades off.
“Jessie got what he deserved. It also sent a message to anyone who gets any ideas now that’s she’s going home. No one will touch her. If I’d do that to one of our own guys, imagine what I’d do to someone else.”