“You never had it in you to make something of yourself,” my father said, venom seeping from his words. “Not like Luke.”
I knew at some point he’d go for the jugular. But I had long ago given up on pleasing him. Besides, this wasn’t the kind of relationship I was looking to emulate; this was the total opposite. I had at least learned that. If not from them, then from being around someone like Jessie.
“Yeah, Luke is turning out to be just like you,” I said, through clenched teeth. “Hopefully his girlfriend Anna won’t stand for it.”
“That’s enough, Nate,” my mother’s voice rang out. But I knew it was just in an effort to not hear the ugly truth, so I kept on going.
“You better hope he gets control of his anger,” I said. There was silence as my father digested that info. “He could lose his football scholarship, tarnish your family name.”
“You’ve succeeded in tarnishing our name all on your own,” my father spat out and that statement had crawled under my skin and nearly gutted me. I had been the one to let the family secret out, after all. Still, I held on to the wall for support, attempting to suck in air.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Luke roared, storming through the door.
I turned to see my brother’s thick frame eating up the entryway.
I spun toward him, regaining momentum. “I walked in to find our dear old dad leaving bruises on Mom’s arms.”
I could tell I had thrown Luke and he didn’t know what to do. I looked him in the eye trying to appeal to that little boy from long ago. I only saw a brief flicker and then it was gone.
“Nate,” my mother called. “Stop it this instant.”
My brother folded his arms with a smirk. “Where the hell is all this bravado coming from? That new girl with all the ugly ink got you riled up?”
Heat exploded in my brain. In one swift motion I lunged and forced him up against the wall. “Don’t you say another fucking word.”
He smirked and threw his hands up in surrender. “I see she’s gotten under your skin. She must be wild in bed.”
I pulled my arm back and balled my fist to pulverize him until a shocking thought jolted through my brain. Punching my brother would reduce me to my father’s level.
“You’re dating that little piece of trash?” my father said behind me. As if that was what mattered right now, as if he had any say.
I looked over my shoulder at him. “You’re the piece of trash, Dad. You’re the one who ruined this family.”
“Get the hell out of my house, you thankless piece of shit,” my father’s voice thundered.
“I’ll leave, gladly,” I said as I headed toward the door. “I can’t be part of this family anymore, not the way it is now.”
I looked back at my mom to see if she’d say or do anything to defend me. Or herself, for that matter.
With my eyes, I beckoned her to follow. But she only gave a silent shake of her head. Disappointment crushed down on me.
“I love you, Mom, and I hope you leave this asshole.”
I walked out the door and heard it slam shut behind me, loud enough to rattle the windows. I considered the fact that I had just left my mom in that house with those two brutes.
I stood stock-still on the landing listening for any violence. After a few minutes of silence, I figured they had just gone back to living the lie now that I was out of their hair.
As I opened my car door, I gave the house one final glance. My mother stood at the front window, her haunted eyes on me.
It was as if she were watching me from a prison cell, with no escape in sight.
I didn’t think that image would ever leave me.
Chapter Thirty-two
Jessie
After my shift at Raw Ink, I headed over to the university to finalize my photography exhibit. I hadn’t seen Nate in several days, and outside of almost daily texts between us, we hadn’t spoken in person.
I had been the one to initiate contact this time since his photos were so embedded in all of my bridge footage. Plus, I had a good plan for my assignment and I wanted to make sure to get his permission.
Me: You okay with being in a couple of the photos for my project?
Him: You’re going to use some of those shots I was in?
Me: Yeah, because they’re kick ass and it’ll look weird if I crop you out.
Him: I could see how that would be a problem, he is pretty large. Probably takes up the whole frame.
Me: Is that what the speck of dust was? That explains it.
Him: Speck of dust? Dust storm, baby.
Me: *eye roll* Keep it in your pants, Square.
Nate had confided in me that he’d still been seeing Dr. Drake at the counseling center and that he was working through, quote: “all of his family shit.” I paused for a moment, considering my next text. I wanted to be there for Nate, but I also didn’t want to pry if he didn’t feel like sharing anything yet.