Promise Me This(31)
And beneath his underwear was the outline of his full-blown erection. A gasp arose from my lips as his gaze crashed into mine. Just like I had done moments before by the bathroom door, Nate didn’t cover himself or try to move away.
His feet were nearly rooted to the floor, as if at a standstill. It seemed neither one of us knew what to do, but we sure as hell both wanted each other.
My gaze travelled up the smooth planes of his body on their own accord, only to focus back in on what was right in front of me. I knew he only joked about having a monster in his pants but good lord; there it was, on glorious exhibit.
“You’re beautiful, Nate,” I said, without any hesitation or shame.
“I was just thinking the same thing about you,” he whispered.
My breath stalled on my lips and I readjusted myself on the bed. Scooting my body against my pillows, my eyes stayed glued to his the entire time, making it plain exactly what I was thinking.
“What are you—” he said and then I effectively cut him off when my hands clasped over my breasts.
He stalked toward me, reaching me in half a second flat.
A groan tore from his throat as he grabbed my face and crashed his lips against mine. Hard and bruising, my head practically molded into the pillow. This kiss was so different from the one in the bar. This kiss was like a brand.
My fingers flew up and clenched onto his hair. I tightened my grip, which only made him press harder. When I moaned against his mouth, he forced my lips apart with his tongue and then plunged it fully inside my mouth. He tasted like beer and cinnamon gum mixed together.
His tongue smooth like velvet, it explored every corner of my mouth as if on a mission. His fingers grasped onto my neck and then tunneled deep into my hair, effectively holding me hostage.
And then suddenly, the weight was lifted and I could no longer feel him. When I opened my eyes he was he standing at the side of the bed, breathing heavily.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a tortured voice. “I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just—goddamn, you’re so fucking sexy. Your hair, your lips, your body.”
My entire body was thrumming with desire. If he walked away now, I wouldn’t be able to sleep all night long. Let along all week.
“It’s okay, Nate.” I grabbed for his hand, which was shaking. “I obviously want you, too.”
“I don’t want to mess this up,” he mumbled. “I don’t want you to hate me, after.”
“I’m a big girl,” I said. “I can handle myself.”
“But you . . . you’re the only girl who . . .” he stormed away from the bed, his hands tearing through his hair. “Fuck.”
“Who what?” I said, throwing my hands up in frustration. “Who looks like this? Who isn’t your type? Well you aren’t my type either, so what.”
He shook his head violently. “That’s not what I—”
“Who cares about that other stuff? Don’t think so hard,” I practically growled. “Goddammit Nate, I can’t deny how amazingly turned on I am right now.”
“You don’t know me,” he said, in anguish. “How I . . . what I . . .”
“How what?” I said, exasperated by how hard he was thinking about this. I was pretty damn sure he didn’t expend this kind of energy with all of those other girls. “What, Nate? What you want to do to me?”
His eyes flashed with undulating lust.
“Then show me, Nate,” I said, softening my voice. “Show me.”
The plain desire on his face contradicted the shaking of his head.
“I appreciate your nobility and all,” I said. “But I want to feel your body and your lips on me again.”
When he didn’t say anything, I took a deep breath, feeling defeated and more than frustrated. “If you don’t want me . . . that’s okay, too.”
I scooted down the bed and laid my body flat. I wasn’t going to argue with him about this anymore, it was too much work. There was something raw inside of him that he was terrified of unleashing. Still, I didn’t understand why he was fighting it so hard. It was only sex, after all.
He tilted his head back and then let out a strangled growl. Before I could decipher exactly what was happening, he was on top of me again.
His entire body was aligned with mine from chest to knees. He pressed me hard into the mattress as his lips melded with mine. I swung my legs up to wrap around his waist and our centers collided. I could feel the length and girth of him now and holy fuck, he was large.
His fingers gripped my hair firmly, shocking the shit out of me, and it was then that I realized that Nate must like it rough. I’d been with my share of tough guys but now I knew that I would have enjoyed them more if they also had Nate’s softer side to strike a balance.