The words had a razor-sharp edge to them the second time around, and the first hadn’t exactly been Peter Cottontail soft to begin with.
As kindly as she could, Juliet shook her head and said, “No.”
Reid’s eyes narrowed, pupils going round as BBs within his toffee-brown irises. “No?”
His voice held a hint of bitterness, warning even, that she had to ignore. Made herself ignore, despite the shiver that skated down her spine.
Juliet was surprised by just how much it had hurt to utter that single word, but she’d done it all the same. Then she licked her lips, put her shoulders back and said it again. “I’m sorry, but no.”
Placing her palms flat on either side of her hips, she let her gaze fall to the carpeted floor for a moment as she shook her head.
“I know what you’re trying to do. And I appreciate it, I really do,” she said softly. “But it’s not necessary. You don’t have to make the grand gesture or make an honest woman of me. I’ll be fine. The baby and I will both be fine, and you’ll have full access, just as I promised. I won’t cut you off simply because I don’t have a ring on my finger.”
She rubbed the underside of the bare digit where Paul’s engagement ring had rested until only a few days ago. Now Reid was trying to stick another one on there, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that. Not under these circumstances.
“That’s not what I’m doing,” he objected through clenched teeth.
Her mouth curved in a gentle smile as she lifted her face back to his. “Yes, it is. But I just ran away from one wedding, I’m not in a big rush to race toward another.”
His nostrils flared as he glared at her with the same dark, stormy expression she was sure he used to intimidate bad guys and get information from reluctant witnesses. It was a good glare, but she held her ground.
“Do you think I wouldn’t be a good father?” he practically snapped. “Or a good husband? Is that it?”
She leaned back, stunned by the outburst. “Of course not.”
She honestly hadn’t given it much thought. As far as Reid’s potential as a parent was concerned, she hadn’t been pregnant long enough to reflect upon every little detail of child rearing that might come along. And she’d never seen marriage to Reid as any part of her future—with or without a child between them.
But now that he’d brought it up, she took a moment to give it a good, hard sixty-second dissection.
She could only imagine that Reid would be an exceptional father. He was strong, brave, self-assured, successful and—at least in her experience—selfless.
He would put his child’s interests and needs above all else, always. He would be protective but understanding. Strict but also kind and loving. And she hoped fun.
There had been an underlying level of tension to their relationship from the beginning, but they’d had fun, too. She knew he had a sense of humor and suspected that he would be happy to take his child to the park, or kick off his shoes and play along in the sandbox. Which was important in a child’s life and, she realized, important to her.
So yes, she thought he would be a good father.
And when he found a woman he truly loved, she had no doubt he would make an excellent husband. All of the same qualities that made him good father material—protectiveness, successfulness, selflessness—would make him an exceptional partner, as well.
She could more than easily picture coming home to him each evening...or perhaps having him come home to her instead. Doing the whole “hi, honey, how was your day?” routine. Eating dinner together, putting the kids to bed. And then later, taking their time putting themselves to bed. She knew all too well how satisfying that part of a marriage to Reid McCormack would be.
Shaking herself free of her reflections and the memories that had her core temperature rising a few errant degrees, she amended that last thought. It would be satisfying for some other woman. Not for her. Because marriage to Reid wasn’t in the cards for her.
Oh, he’d asked, but she’d turned him down for more than simply the reasons she’d stated.
It was true that she didn’t want to rush into another “here comes the bride” situation so soon after making such a fiasco of the first one.
And she most certainly didn’t want to get married only because she was pregnant. Marriage was hardly the best resolution for Reid’s guilt trip.
But the real reason she’d rejected his proposal—as off the cuff and questionably sincere as it had been—was that she never again wanted to be engaged to, almost married to, or even seriously involved with someone who didn’t love her madly.