Project Produce(32)

“It’s nine o’clock, honey. Time to take a break. You’re gonna fry your brain with all that work.”

After the day I’d had, comfort food, comfort drink, and comfort music had been a relief, but Gloria was right. I couldn’t work on my project anymore. I needed to get up and move around. “Don’t know about frying my brain, but I’m positive my legs will never be the same.” I straightened and shook out the tingles.

“Well, that’s what you get sitting cross-legged on a hard chair for hours.” Gloria poured a glass of water, gargled, and then spit in the sink. “Come out with me tonight. I got a gig. I actually got a gig, can you believe it? Finally, someone’s gonna pay to hear me sing. No more open mic for me, no way, no how.”

“That’s great, Gloria. I’m happy for you, but I can’t go.” I glanced at the phone and then looked away. “I have way too much work to do.”

“Don’t try to play a player, chica. You already worked for three hours. You’re just waiting for your hot Detective to call.”

“He’s not my anything. Well, except my zucchini, maybe, and that’s only if my Angels can’t find another one. And I’m not waiting for him to call.”

“Sure, you’re not.” Gloria set her glass in the sink. “Then you won’t mind if I call him, because, honey, he is oh so right up my alley.” She picked up the phone.

“Hey.” I jerked, and the legs of my chair hit the floor with a bang.

“Aha. You do mind.” Gloria hung up and grinned. “Guess you won’t need to use my little surprise after all, now that you have your zucchini back.”

“Oh, I used it, all right.”

“No shit? I couldn’t resist after you told me what your Angels had said, but I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it. You go, girl.” Gloria gave me a thumb’s-up. “How’d you like it?”

I rolled my eyes. “I used it on a man. Your man.”

“Say what?”

“Inspector Gadget ring any bells?” I asked, but when Gloria frowned, I probed further. “How about Cat Woman, then?”

“Honey, are you on something?”

Clearly, Gloria didn’t know what I was talking about, which left me wondering who on earth these people were. “Never mind.”

“Oh, hell no. You don’t start with something like that and not give details. Spill it.” She folded her silk-clad arms, bangle bracelets clanging, then leaned back against the counter as though she had all the time in the world.

I groaned. “Let’s just say I met some interesting people, and your little surprise made a pretty decent weapon. Until Jack decided to go off. Made a complete fool of myself figuring out how to shut him up, but then he turned on again all by his own little self. Made quite a scene on the subway, let me tell you. I had no trouble grabbing a seat. No one wanted to come near me.” I scowled at her. “Gee, I can’t imagine why.”

“A weapon? Honey, you and I need to have a serious talk about the facts of life, what goes where, and what we do or don’t do with certain devices no normal hot-blooded woman can live without. Sweetie, Jack was meant to be your special friend. Not your weapon.” She shook her head. “I just don’t know what I’m gonna do with you.”

“I know one thing you’re not gonna do is replace the batteries.” I glanced at the phone again.

“Uh-huh. And when your Detective doesn’t call, I’m gonna make you eat your words. Then you’ll be begging me for another special friend. Don’t worry, I know where to get backups.” Gloria winked, then grabbed her coat and sailed out the door.

“Don’t count on it,” I hollered after her. If “it” happened again, it sure as heck wouldn’t be with some humongous vibrating piece of rubber I didn’t even know how to shut off.

Hey, I’d seen Jack at high speed. Pretty scary.

I shuddered, then stood. Once I was certain Gloria was gone, I danced into the living room to get my circulation back. I was a closet salsa dancer, but anyone who saw my moves would understand why. I bee-bopped my way to the window for a distraction, gyrating to the beat as I looked out. Back home, I kept everything open, but here in Queens, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. Someone could look in.

Someone like Flasher Freak.

That thought sobered me, my hips slowing to a stop. I rubbed the cramp in my side and scanned the street below. Nothing unusual. The snow fell in big, fluffy pieces like a shaken snow globe, and a full moon illuminated the ground below. I started to close the blinds, but a flash came from the apartment building across the street. Waiting a beat, I convinced myself I must be imagining things, but then it happened again. The streetlight flashed off something sticking out of the closed blinds in the apartment directly across from mine.