“I mean even if it was just a hook-up thing, good for you, girl.”
Ally’s words from the other day resonate in my head, which only get me even madder. I mean was it? So, we’re having fun with each other, but am I jut a thing? I can hardly be the first girl who found Liam Martin attractive. Clearly, as demonstrated by Ashley giggling all over him here.
For a second, I wonder how many other girls he’s done this with, and it makes my heart sink. How many other impressionable young students has he “rescued” and played the “this is so wrong” card with?”
There’s dull ache in the pit of my stomach the more I think about it, and the longer I watch Ashley giggle and touch his arm. And any thoughts I have of waiting after class and letting him take me back to his offie go flitting away as I turn and quickly leave the room.
*****
“Okay what did that fucker do?”
I blink quickly and jerk my head up from my bed to see Ally frowning from the doorway as she steps in.
“What?” I quickly brush my face across my pillow, hoping she doesn’t see the moisture there from me sulking and being so juvenile about the whole thing with Liam.
“Your guy, Ellie. Did he hurt you?”
I smile as I shake my head. “No, no nothing like that.”
Well you’re pouting and you’re not all glowing like were earlier after you had sex with him in here.”
My face goes bright red before I swallow. “What?” I manage to croak out.
Ally rolls her eyes. “Oh, please. Ellie, I know a sex room when I enter it.” My face burns red as I drop it back into my pillow as my roommate laughs and sits on the edge of my bed. “Aww, c’mon! Look at you!” She rubs my back. “Bringing guys to your dorm room! Now you’re doing the college thing right, girl.”
I snort and groan as I roll over and prop myself up, looking glumly at her. “Yeah, but if we been caught?”
She rolls her eyes again. “Ellie, its a co-ed dorm, in case you missed all the guys walking around.”
Yeah, that wouldn’t have helped us.
“No, I know that, but he- he couldn’t.”
“He couldn’t what?”
“Nothing,” I say quickly.
Ally frowns suspiciously at me. “What, be here? Who is this guy?”
“He’s- uh.”
He’s twice my age, and my teacher, and so wrong that I can’t stop fantasizing about it.
“He- he’s not student here.”
“And?”
“And nothing,” I say, trying to play it cool.
Ally isn’t buying it, of course.
“Ellie.”
I groan. “Okay! Okay, he’s a little older.”
She grins wickedly. “How older?”
“A lot?”
Her eyes sparkle. “What, like thirty?”
I scrunch my face up. “More like almost forty?”
Ally squeals. “Oh my GOD, girl!” She leans in close, grinning at me conspiratorially. “So…?”
“So?”
“So dish! Is it good?”
I blush bright red and look away and Ally giggles. “Okay, yeah, it’s good isn’t it.” She tickles my arm. “So what’re you so bummed about? So he’s older? Big deal.”
I sigh. “Because…”
Because I’m being passive and weird and I know it’s all just because he’s the first.
“Because I don’t know what we are.”
Ally nods. “Ahah. Well, have you asked him?”
I roll my eyes. “No way.”
“Oh, you let him take your v-card but you can’t ask him to define what you are?”
“Pretty much,” I mumble.
Ally slides an arm over my shoulder and hugs me. “Look, you clearly like this guy, right?”
I nod glumly.
“So push the issue. Go do something ‘couple-y’ with him that isn’t getting boned in our dorm room.” She grins as I blush bright red. “Ellie, if he’s into you, and I’m sure he is, he’ll jump at the idea of taking you out. And if he’s a stupid loser, he’ll dodge it, and then I’ll go murder him, deal?”
I laugh as my roommate hugs me close. “Either way, you get an answer, and then you can figure out what you want.”
Except I already know what I want, and what I want is the illicit thrill I’ve already felt and can’t get enough of. The only question is, what does Liam want?