Magnetism?
Stupid Stone. Stupid, stupid Stone. Trusting a reporter. The most rookie mistake in the book.
And as I’m fleeing the room, I can hear Gisele calling out to me, asking me what’s going on. I must’ve woken her up somewhere along the way, but I don’t stop. I can’t stop. I have to run and I can’t go back.
My better-than-cocaine Gisele has turned out to be the most destructive force of all.
137
Gisele
Tears are dripping off the end of my nose, which officially makes me the most pathetic Gisele who's ever walked the face of the planet. Here I am with Apollo and Ashley—who I’ve taken to calling Ashlo in my mind because they’re never more than three inches from each other’s sides—and Kathy. We’re at one of the hottest bars in NYC—the Pink Elephant—and I should be laughing and drinking and having a grand ol’ time.
Instead, I’m a mess. Like, a mess.
Have I mentioned that I have tears dripping endlessly off the end of my nose? I think my bourbon is half bourbon, half tears at this point, but I can’t seem to stop.
“What were you thinking?” Kathy asks, unsympathetically. And, not for the first time. She’s asked me some variation on this question three times already. I'll admit that so far, I’ve just been shrugging and bawling harder as my “answer,” so I suppose I deserve this endless string of questioning.
“I thought I was helping!” I wail. A passing waitress pats me on the shoulder consolingly before moving away to serve another customer.
Even complete strangers are trying to make me feel better.
Have I mentioned the endless tears yet? Like those recycling fountains that never run out of water, my tears are just streaming down my face.
I'm not a pretty crier—let’s not kid ourselves on that topic.
“How?” Kathy asks, perplexed.
I want to throw something at her head—how dare she take his side?—but a small part of me (a tiny, eensy-weensy part of me) admits that she’s right.
God, I hate that.
“Everyone was so judgmental of him after he pulled a Slayer at that concert, I thought that by telling the world what was really going on, they’d stop judging him so harshly.”
“You mean, telling the world that he’s not in control of his own body and will do what anyone else wants him to while he’s high on drugs every day, that he’s somehow a more sympathetic character?”
I slump in my chair. I'll admit that my plan had some fatal flaws in it that I hadn’t exactly foreseen. I’d thought that Stone was just too noble, too good a person to tell the world the truth, and so I’d stand up for him. I’d tell everyone that he hadn’t meant to streak on stage, that he hadn’t meant to break about 50 obscenity laws, that it was all because he was trying so hard to kick his drug habit.
In retrospect, I should’ve realized that the mean-spirited denizens of the world would latch onto the part where he can’t control, or even remember his actions afterward, and roast him publicly for it. Of course that's obvious now.
Seven days ago? Not so much.
“I kind of feel like this is Blush’s fault,” the “lo” part of Ashlo rumbles. His voice is so deep; I swear to God, our table vibrates when he talks. “I hadn’t realized that you’d grown so close to him, and would care so much about how this article affected him.” Although he’d turned the everyday management of the magazine over to Ash, I also know that Ash runs almost everything by him, just to get his input and thoughts on topics.
Have I mentioned how sickening these two are together? That could’ve been Stone and I, dammit!
The water cycle speeds up.
“Why don’t we help you with your grand gesture?” Ash says.
“Grand gesture?” I repeat numbly.
“Yeah, in all of the Kindle books, there’s always a grand gesture at the end. Usually, it’s the guy doing it to get the girl back, but…” she shrugs. Yeah, no reason to finish that sentence. It's true; there’s not a damn thing that Stone needs to beg my forgiveness for. This is one story where the girl is going to have to play the part of the love-struck idiot, begging for forgiveness.
Kathy jumps in. “I want to help!” she says firmly. “What can I do?”
I forgive her for her harsh questioning earlier. I may have deserved every minute of it, but it was still hard to take. But when it counts, Kathy always has my back.
“I think I know…” Lo says.
138
Stone
I head into the lobby of the W and over to the elevators. Jamming my thumb into the elevator button, I curse under my breath. Another day of trying to convince people that I’m not under the influence of some godawful drug, another day of people giving me sidelong glances, wondering if I’m going to whip out my cock and start shaking it at them.