Part of me wanted to tear those ropes off and take him, pull him into the bed with me, beg him to make me feel good. I knew that would ruin everything, but still, I wanted it. I wanted it so badly I can barely think.
I have to lay there for a while, maybe a half hour, trying to get myself together. Eventually, I calm down enough to change my clothes and eat the food. It’s good, though it’s cold.
As I go to bed that night, I keep thinking about him, about Ethan and his control. I want to understand it and get past it. I want him to make me feel good.
I want to be his spoiled little pet.
9
Ethan
I couldn’t get the image of Aria tied up to the bed out of my mind all the next day.
I wanted to fuck her. I can’t say it any other way. I wanted to slide my thick cock deep inside of her pussy, keeping her tied up like that, but I couldn’t let myself. Not yet, at least.
She liked it. I could tell she liked it. As soon as I put my hand near her pussy I could feel her heat and practically taste her dripping cunt. She was squirming for it the whole time, and not once did I think I was pushing her too far. It was a simple little spanking, but I could tell she’s never been bound up like that before.
I don’t normally do that with women. It’s true, I have a thing for control, but I don’t show that to the average woman that I bring home. Normally I just get them off and get myself off and that’s enough. But with Aria, I know I need something more. I know she needs it, too.
I keep picturing her perfect round ass as I spank it over and over. I keep getting hard at my desk as I imagine my red palm prints on her perfect, smooth white ass. It drives me fucking crazy, and I crave release, but I know that won’t help anything.
Although there’s more work to be done, around eight that night I have to go home. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t keep pretending like the only thing I want to do is be at home with Aria. I call the car, say goodnight to the few people still working late, and head back through the city.
As I watch the houses flash by, I can’t help but think about how I don’t really know her, not yet at least. I feel like I know her, but I don’t really. I don’t know where she came from and even if her real name is Aria. I suspect it might be, but I’m only just guessing. She doesn’t seem like she’s very good at acting, as evidenced by her little slipups toward the end of our session, but I can’t be sure.
I decide that I’m going to play a different sort of game tonight. Maybe not exactly a game, more like something normal. Once the car pulls up, I head right inside.
Jenkins meets me in the kitchen. “Home early tonight, sir,” he says.
“Yes, I am. How’s Aria?”
“She’s well,” Jenkins says. “Wanted more movies today. And requested some skin lotion.”
I grin at that. “Send dinner up to her room. For both of us. Please.”
“Of course.” Jenkins turns and walks off.
My heart is beating fast and I realize that I’m excited like a little boy as I take the stairs two at a time. I quickly reach her door and stop just short of barging in, gathering myself. I have to get myself under control. I need to be calm and collected when I see her.
Control is what separates us from the animals. We can control ourselves, force ourselves to be calm and to do things we don’t necessarily want to do. I’m obsessed with control because it proves to me that I’m above the animals, that I’m greater than them.
Except sometimes, it feels so fucking good to lose myself. All of my worries, my troubles, they drop away and I can embrace the animal inside of me. That’s how I feel when I’m fucking, but when I’m playing these games, it’s a different sort of release.
I calm my heart rate and finally knock once before walking into her room.
Aria is sitting on the small couch, curled in a little ball, watching TV. She sits up as soon as I walk into the room and wipes her eyes. “Ethan,” she says.
I stop dead and blink, surprised. “Are you okay?” I ask, instantly concerned.
“Oh, I’m fine,” she says, laughing lightly.
“If there’s something wrong, I’ll fix it. If you don’t like our game, we’ll change it.” I take a step toward her.
She smiles and stands up. “Really Ethan, I’m fine. I was just watching... a movie.” She grabs the remote and turns off the TV.
“What movie?” I ask, taking a step toward her. I’m curious about what would make her cry.
“I don’t want to say.”
“Come on. You read trashy romances. What else can you have to hide?”
She laughs again. “Okay, fine. It was Love Actually.”