She really didn’t want to answer this question. She had a feeling they weren’t on the same page. They’d barely begun dating. Was this really a topic that should be coming up so fast? Dammit.
“I’m not going to have kids,” she finally said. “I have other plans.”
She felt him freeze up behind her. And the hand that had been caressing her arm so lovingly was now still.
“I don’t mean tomorrow, Savvy. I meant in the future.”
She couldn’t read his tone of voice. “I didn’t have the most wonderful childhood,” she told him. “And I don’t think I’d make a good mother, so I decided long ago that I will never become one.”
He was quiet for so long, she wondered if he was going to speak again. Just when she was about to give up, he gave her an answer.
“Lots of people say that, Savvy, but you can break any cycles you had with your own family. You’re caring, compassionate, and the most wonderful woman I know. I know that you’ll make a fantastic mother.”
“No, Ashton, I won’t be a mother. I have zero desire to have children. You’ve seen some of my fears, but this is probably my worst one.”
He really needed to understand this. When he pulled back from her, she felt as if a vise was clamping around her insides. This was another reason she hadn’t wanted to get into a serious relationship. When men were thinking about marriage, they were also thinking about procreation, weren’t they? She didn’t understand why. Weren’t there enough people in the world already? Why was she considered defective if she didn’t want to add to the population?
And did her feelings make her less of a woman? When Ashton stood up and she looked into his eyes, she almost felt that it did. His expression wasn’t filled with all-consuming love anymore. It was blanked out, just as it had often been before this idyllic voyage.
Before he was able to say anything more, his phone started buzzing. He looked down at the number before sighing. “I have to get this.”
After he’d been on the phone a minute, he turned to her. “I need to take care of something. It might take a while.”
And with that he walked into another room. Savvy sat there for about ten minutes before a tear fell. She wiped it away and stood up, then gathered her purse before walking out of his suite.
If he wanted to find her, he would know where to look.
But Savvy slept restlessly for the rest of the night, if she slept at all, and Ashton never showed up to claim her. She’d given her heart to him, all of it, but maybe he now considered her not woman enough to keep her man. Or to take him. Whatever. That thought made her cry herself to sleep as the ship rocked back and forth on its journey home.
She did love him. Whether she wanted to or not, she loved him. And now he clearly thought that she wasn’t good enough.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Three days with not much more than three words from Ashton.
Savvy tried to hide her despair. She tried telling herself that he was busy. After all, they’d been away from Seattle for ten days, and a lot had happened while they were out. But he was avoiding her. That was the reality she had to face. Nothing irrational about it.
It was over, and he just didn’t want to have another messy scene like the one he’d been put through with his former fiancée. Savannah saw her best move forward as quitting. She’d be doing a favor both to Ashton and to herself. This job wasn’t going to last a lot longer, and there was no way she was going to get to dive for sunken treasure now, so what was the point of hanging around?#p#分页标题#e#
Minor problem. If she left, she’d have no place to live for the rest of her summer, and she’d be giving up her final couple of paychecks. She hadn’t taken the job here for the fun of it. And though she could probably find employment working in a café, that still didn’t help with her housing situation.
So even though seeing the man she was in love with kept plunging jagged knives into her hurting heart and twisting them, she had to suck it up. At least that was something she was used to doing. She was also used to mixing metaphors.
The day was coming to an end, and as Savvy put away her supplies, she didn’t think anything of the commotion down on the dock. Or she didn’t think anything of it until she heard her name being called out.
“Savannah! Savannah! I see you down there.”
Oh my gosh! She turned away but that did no good. The man continued to bellow and she was forced to look again.
“Don’t try to pretend you don’t know who I am! Tell these men to get their freaking hands off me!”