“About?”
“I spoke to her earlier today after she saw that picture. She was furious. She knew you would be upset. As a result there’s been an unexpected shift in her position.”
“Regarding?”
“Us.”
“What kind of shift?” Beth asked, feeling a faint chill stir inside her. Destiny had been the staunchest supporter of their relationship. Heck, she’d been the primary instigator behind that first meeting. If she’d had second thoughts, then there really was little hope. No one knew Mack better than Destiny did, not even Beth.
“Basically she reminded me that I shouldn’t be playing games with you, that you’re not like the other women I’ve dated, all things she’d said before,” Mack said. “But this time she seems genuinely concerned that I’m going to break your heart. She doesn’t want that to happen. Obviously, she’s concluded that I’m a bad risk in the romance department, after all.”
Beth’s muscles grew even tighter, despite Mack’s deft touch. She was less interested in Destiny’s concern for her than she was in Mack’s intentions now that his aunt had shifted positions on their relationship. She met his gaze directly. “Leaving the incident last night aside, what do you think? Have you been playing games? I thought we’d clarified that, but maybe something’s changed.”
He abandoned the massage to come around and hunker down in front of her, taking her hands in his, his expression serious. “I honestly don’t think so, but I probably need to make my position really clear in case I haven’t done that before. I don’t do the long haul, Beth. I can’t. Not even for you, and, believe me, I am tempted to try.”
She fought the dismay that crawled up the back of her throat. “That’s hardly a shock,” she admitted, forcing out the calm, measured words. “Your track record alone would give anyone that impression, wouldn’t it?” She’d been wondering for some time now, though, if impressions were to be believed. Now she had her answer. In Mack’s case, they were dead-on accurate.
“It’s the truth, not just an impression,” he said flatly, confirming her conclusion.
Beth stared straight into his eyes and saw the real torment there. Ironically now, with everything out on the table, she wasn’t sure that letting go to avoid more hurt was the right choice for either of them.
“This is all because you lost your parents and you’re afraid if you care too much about someone else, you’ll lose them, too,” she said quietly. “That’s why you won’t take a chance.”
He didn’t seem surprised that she’d put the pieces of the puzzle together. He merely nodded.
“I always thought I was immune to whatever damage their deaths had caused, but I guess I’m not,” Mack said. “Lord knows, I’ve always found some reason to move on every time a relationship started to get serious. I thought it was different with you. I know how I feel about you. This morning when I thought I might lose you over that stupid photo in the paper, I panicked, but at the same time I can’t see myself taking the next step.”
“Meaning what? Marriage?”
He nodded. “My stomach starts churning just hearing you say the word,” he admitted. “How can I not consider the probability that it’s because of that early loss?”
Beth struggled with the dismay spreading through her, but no one knew better than she did the hole that was left in a heart after losing someone. Hers had healed, but that didn’t mean Mack had to recover on the same kind of timetable. At least he was trying desperately to be honest with her. She had to respect him for that.
“Fair enough,” she said, making up her mind not to let this matter. She’d known all along that their match wasn’t made in heaven, even though it had begun to feel so right. She’d been taken by surprise from the moment they met. It struck her as a little sad that this was the one time he hadn’t surprised her, but rather acted totally predictably—reaching out only to yank his hand back before it could get burned.
“We should stop seeing each other,” he said when she remained silent. “Now, before I can hurt you any more than I already have.”
“Is that what you want?” she asked dully, her heart in her throat. If it was, she would have to accept it and move on. She had too much pride to do anything less.
“No,” he admitted.
Relief nearly overwhelmed her. Sometime soon she would have to examine why that was, but not tonight. Tonight she needed to feel Mack’s arms around her again. She needed the connection to him that had made her feel alive these past few weeks. In time she might have to let go but not yet.