“Marc’s been abducted, and he lost a lot of blood in the process.” I snatched my duffel from the floor of my closet and dropped it on the end of the bed, and when our eyes finally met, the shock in hers took me completely by surprise.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been quite so blunt. Was this one of those truths kids weren’t supposed to hear? What was I supposed to do, lie to her?
I was pretty sure that even if I tried to gloss over the facts, she’d see the truth in my eyes. Then she’d never trust me again.
I wanted to sink onto the bed next to Kaci and hug her. Then slowly, carefully, explain that sometimes bad things happen to good people, and those good people aren’t always okay afterward. But surely she knew that better than anyone, and I didn’t have time for slow and careful. I had to find Marc, to make sure he didn’t become one of those people who wasn’t okay.
Like Kaci herself.
Shit. She needed reassurance from me almost as badly as Marc needed to be found and treated. I’d have to talk while I packed.“Kaci, hon, I don’t know how this is going to end.” I turned from her as I opened my top dresser drawer, to keep her from seeing just how terrified I was. She needed to see me as a rock. As someone she could depend on, no matter what happened. She did not need to know that a hit on Marc was the one punch I wasn’t sure I could roll with.
When I had my expression under control, I met her eyes again as I stuffed a handful of underwear into the bag. “But I’m going to find Marc, and make sure that whoever took him lives to regret it. For a few minutes, anyway.”
She only blinked at me, and I turned back to the dresser for some shirts. “How did it happen?” Kaci asked as I pulled two long-sleeved tees from the second drawer.
“It looks like some men broke into his house and beat him up, then took off with him.”
“Somebody beat Marc up?” Disbelief was thick in her voice, and my pride for Marc and his reputation swelled, even under the circumstances.
“It was at least three against one.” No need to mention that the weapons were pieces of his broken furniture, or that he was in his own home at the time. “And he got two of them,” I said after a moment’s hesitation, hoping she wouldn’t ask me what “got” meant.
I was a little conflicted about how much to tell her. On one hand Kaci was a werecat now, a fully integrated member of our society, and she needed to know how life worked for us. Sheltering her would do little to help her adjust. But on the other hand, even though she wasn’t scratched or bitten, her entry into our secret world was heralded by violence, and I wasn’t eager to remind her of what she’d done. She needed to move past that if she was ever going to truly settle into her new existence.
“Were they werecats?” she asked, as I shoved the shirts into the bag.
“Yeah.” But the real question was whether any of the men who’d attacked Marc this time were in on the ambush two days earlier.
From the bathroom, I grabbed my hair dryer, toiletries, and what little makeup I wore on a semiregular basis. Kaci watched as I dropped it all into the duffel bag, the dryer cord dangling over one side.
“Were they in cat form?” she whispered, and dread sifted through me at the quiet horror in her voice. She wound the cord around my hair dryer, then tucked it neatly into one end of the duffel, nestled between my shampoo and makeup bag.
“No.” I started to zip the bag, but stopped when I noticed that her eyes were shinier than usual. They were standing in tears. “Kaci, no, honey, they were in human form. This had nothing to do with what form they were in. These are bad men, and they’d be bad on either four legs or two. Just like you’d be good in either form.”
“But I wasn’t good as a cat!” she insisted, and the silent tears began to fall.
Well, hell… Sympathy squeezed my heart to the point of pain, but her timing could not have been worse. I’d been waiting months for an opening into her psyche—to get her to talk about what she’d gone through during and after her first transformation—and when the breakthrough finally came, I didn’t have time to stay and listen. To help her work through it.
But she was crying. I’d have to find a minute with Kaci, then make up for it on the drive to the free zone.
I shoved my duffel aside and climbed over the footboard onto the end of the mattress, as close to her as I could get. Werecats are very physically demonstrative, and I was hoping the contact might help calm her.
“Kaci, you were great as a cat!” I put one arm around her shoulders and squeezed, pulling her even closer. “You’re so strong. So amazing. What happened when you first Shifted, that wasn’t your fault. Not Kaci-the-person’s fault, and not Kaci-the-cat’s fault.”
I let go of her shoulders and gently turned her face toward mine, staring into big hazel eyes magnified by tears. “That wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just a tragedy. A horrible, devastating tragedy, and I know you’re dealing with it the only way you know how, but we have to figure out some other way for you to handle this, or you’re going to wind up hurting yourself. You’re nearly there now.”
“I know.” She wiped tears from her cheeks with both hands, then clenched my punching pillow as if it alone anchored her to her human form. “But I don’t think I can do it. I don’t think I can control it.”
“Yes, you can.” I twisted on the comforter to face her more directly, hoping my conviction was contagious. “Kaci, when I first met you, you were in cat form, and you didn’t hurt me. You didn’t even come near me. And that’s when you were terrified and in a strange place. It will be different this time. We can do it in the barn. Just you and me, if you want. And if you’re worried about losing control, I’ll close the doors so you can’t get out. All you need is one good Shift to prove to yourself that you can do this. That your inner cat isn’t some rabid tiger looking for its next meal. It’s just another part of you. A part you’re going to have to come to terms with.”
Her forehead crinkled. “But what if I hurt you?”
I laughed out loud, letting her see my genuine amusement. “Honey, you couldn’t hurt me if you tried. I’ve faced down bigger and badder cats than you under much worse circumstances. That’s my job, and I’m pretty damn good at it. You’ll be fine. I won’t let anything happen to either of us.”
For the first time, I saw belief in her eyes. And trust. She was coming around. And if I didn’t have to leave immediately, she might have been willing to give it a try right then.
But I had to go. I had to find Marc, and each minute I spent on the ranch when I should have been out looking for him weighed on my mind like a pile of bricks, threatening to crush me.
“I tell you what.” I swung my legs over the side of the bed. “You think about it for the next couple of days. Get yourself ready mentally. Then, when I get back, we’ll do it together. It’ll be fine, and you’ll feel so much better. And then you can go to school—finally get out of this house. Okay?”
She nodded, but looked unconvinced, and I knew I might have to repeat my little pep talk when I got back.
I gave her another reassuring smile as I dug through my bag to make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything. And I was. Pants.
Groaning over my own oversight, I whirled toward the dresser and pulled a pair of jeans from the bottom drawer.“I probably already know what you’re gonna to say, but can I come with you?” Kaci held the duffel open while I shoved my pants inside, then tugged the zipper shut. “I wouldn’t get in the way. And I could help look for Marc.”
I smiled to soften the coming blow. “I’m sorry, Kaci, but this is way too dangerous.”
The frustration and disappointment in her eyes were achingly familiar. Even with my father’s liberal stance on a woman’s place in the Pride, I’d spent much of my childhood being left out of things for my own safety. I’d even heard that line a time or two since becoming an enforcer, though staying behind had yet to actually keep me out of the action. But that didn’t change anything for Kaci. At the moment, she wasn’t well enough for a brisk walk through the woods, much less a risky trip across two states and a desperate hunt…wherever Marc’s trail should lead us.
“This is a job for enforcers, Kaci. You’re not old enough, and you don’t have any training.”
“Can I be an enforcer someday?” she asked, as I dropped my bag on the carpet near the door.
I couldn’t resist a grin. “Absolutely. You can do anything you want. But first, you have to get healthy. And enforcers do a lot of their work in cat form, so you have to get used to Shifting. We’ll work on that when I get back, ‘kay?”
This time when she nodded, she didn’t look quite as hesitant, and I took that as a very good sign.
“Okay, I have to go, but I hear my mom messing around in the kitchen.” Pots clanged together at the front of the house, as if to punctuate my claim. “Why don’t you go see what she’s making for lunch.”
Kaci went reluctantly, and I changed quickly into a fresh pair of jeans and a dark green sweater with a cowl neck and too-long sleeves, then hurried outside to throw my bag in the backseat of Parker’s car. When I came back in, Kaci sat at the bar in the kitchen, sipping the broth from my mother’s homemade chicken soup. I ignored the rumble of my own stomach and headed into my father’s office to tell him Parker and I were ready to go.